


Cloud's Insanity

by InyrilJace



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Gen, Hallucinations, Horror, Insanity, Thriller, but Cloud is crazy, oh yeah Zack's not dead, platonic Zack/Tifa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-01-20
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-01 23:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 53,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/362399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InyrilJace/pseuds/InyrilJace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>ON PERMANENT HIATUS</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <br/>After the fall of Shinra, the world is in shock as it tries to recover. Geostigma arises, claiming lives and lifestyles. The people search for a hero to save them. But Cloud is plagued by his own demons as the past refuses to die.</p><p>AU!! Set after the original game, in place of AC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cloud's Insanity - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Insanity](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/165718) by Septasonicxx. 



> This story is based off an idea that Septasonicxx and I came up with, years and years ago. She wrote her own version of the idea - which is an absolutely amazing take on it and you should _definitely_ read it before reading this!! 
> 
> Also, please note that I started writing this fic back in 2008 ... that's a long time ago now! My writing style will probably change through the fic, as will the quality of writing (hopefully it gets better as it goes :P). But just bear that in mind while reading. I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

**PROLOGUE**

The rectangular room was bathed in a warm, yellow light. Deep, comfortable lounges and recliners decorated the room, two of them occupied. The carpet was a soft cream colour, the walls painted an off-white. The slow, steady beat of the ceiling fan was the only thing to break the silence.

One figure lay on a lounge, an arm thrown over his tired face. The other sat in a recliner, a clipboard and pen in his hands as he finished making some notations. He glanced over at the other man.

"Alright Cloud, thankyou for coming. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough now to be able to approach me whenever you feel the need, instead of just your scheduled appointments. Was there anything else you wanted to say?"

The figure on the lounge didn't move.

"How much longer is this gonna go on for?" he mumbled, pained stress in his voice. The other man sighed.

"It's hard to say, Cloud. It all depends on you. How determined you are. How strong your resolutions are. How supportive the people around you are."

"I've told you, no-one else knows about this. And I don't want them to know. It's just you and me, Doc."

"Then I'm afraid that you're only making the journey harder for yourself. But don't worry, Cloud. We'll get through this. We'll beat it. One day you'll be able to smile again."

"Huh." Slowly, the man on the lounge sat up, letting his arm fall, "I'm not so sure about that."

"You've got to believe in yourself Cloud. Otherwise you'll never change."

The doctor stood up, tucking the clipboard under one arm. Cloud dragged himself to his feet and walked out of the room. They exited the house, lingering for a moment on the front porch. The doctor's gaze fell on Cloud's large and powerful motorbike. Like he did every time after an appointment, the man wondered briefly if he should be letting Cloud ride such a machine in this state of mind.

Just like every time, he said nothing, knowing that his words would fall on deaf ears.

"Take care, Cloud. Drive safely."

"Yeah. Sure." Cloud descended the steps and trudged across the front yard to the bike. The engine roared to life a he turned to glance back at the doctor.

"I'll see you in a week!" the doctor called. As a reply, Cloud revved the engine, churned up dust and ripped off down the road, soon disappearing out of sight. The doctor stared after the dust cloud for a moment. This was proving to be his most difficult case so far. Yet what else should he expect from a traumatised ex-SOLDIER recruit, who no longer saw any point in living?


	2. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 1

**CHAPTER 1**

It was mid-evening when the large bike pulled up outside Seventh Heaven, purring softly as Cloud opened the garage and wheeled the bike, before cutting the engine. Taking deep breaths to steady himself and his resolve, Cloud walked up the steps from the garage, into the bar.

Tifa was behind the bar, serving drinks and collecting glasses while deflecting a drunk man's attempts to hit on her. Marlene and Denzel were working together, carefully balancing glasses on trays and carrying them to customers.

Cloud was surprised. It was quite busy tonight. Business had been slow for some time, now. Why had things picked up so suddenly?

An impatient customer called for his drink and Marlene hurried to walk faster. Her foot snagged on the leg of a chair and she stumbled.

Reflexively, Cloud snatched up the drink on the tray and put the other hand out to steady her.

"Easy, Marlene. Don't let the customers pressure you."

The young girl looked up at him, clutching the tray tightly. A smile broke out across her face. She flung herself forward and hugged his waist as tightly as she could.

"Cloud!"

"Hey, where's ma drink, eh? Thuh service 'ere! Pathetic!" the angry customer snarled. Resting one hand on Marlene's head, Cloud walked to the man and slammed the drink down. The man gasped as he watched a head form on the beer, flattening it and ruining the taste.

"If the service is not up to your standards, go somewhere else." Cloud's voice was dispassionate. He turned and walked towards the bar, Marlene still attached to his side.

"Cloud!"

Denzel bounded up, an empty tray held in his hands as a smile plastered his face. Cloud ruffled the boy's hair.

"Hey, Denzel. You looking after Tifa and Marlene for me?"

"Uhuh!"

"Good."

"Kids! C'mon! Two more trays are up!"

Obediently, Marlene and Denzel ran to take the new trays to waiting customers. Cloud slowly walked to the bar, sitting on a spare stool and leaning his elbows on the benchtop.

"Cloud! Where have you been?" Tifa asked as she served the man next to him.

"Out. That last run took me out past Midgar."

"That same guy again? He must really like your delivery service."

"Yeah. Guess so."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah. Just a beer."

Tifa turned away, quickly getting the drink and setting it in front of Cloud. He stared at the malt-coloured drink for a while, before picking it up and taking a slow sip.

"The kids are working hard." He said, glancing over at where Marlene and Denzel were delivering drinks.

"Yeah, they're good helpers. You know I wouldn't normally ask them to do this. I don't like them being exposed to this kind of environment too much. But tonight... we're just so busy! I needed the extra hands." Tifa explained. Cloud said nothing, just took another sip.

Tifa watched him closely, waiting for him to say something else. When he didn't, she sighed and took an empty glass off the bar.

Abruptly, Cloud stood up and walked towards the stairs. Tifa stared at him in surprise.

"Cloud?"

"I'm wiped out, Tifa. Just ... don't work those kids too late."

He disappeared up to the next level. Tifa sighed, frustration beginning to set in. They never had a chance to talk anymore. Cloud was always so busy with his delivery service now. Not to mention that at least once a week, sometimes more often, that 'special customer' would place an order with Cloud. Thus, he would have to travel for half the day to get there and back. It tired him out and placed more strain on their relationship.

Tifa glanced over to Marlene and Denzel. They hardly got to see Cloud anymore. She did not like to think that he was avoiding them, but Tifa sometimes found it hard to believe that Cloud couldn't even make time to give the kids some attention.

Things were just different now than they used to be. So much had changed in such a short space of time. The fall of Shinra, Sephiroth's reign of terror. Zack's death, closely followed by Aerith's death.

Cloud had taken it hard, Tifa knew. Yet, sometimes, she couldn't help but feel that he was hiding something from her. Something that she wanted to find out about, so she could help him overcome it.

But Cloud didn't let people close enough to help him anymore. After all, too many things had changed. Just like him.

* * *

He did not know what had woken him.

The room was almost pitch black, only a thin line of light coming in from under the door. Outside, a harsh wind buffeted the glass panes, causing them to rattle. Perhaps that was what had woken him.

He turned on his side and tried to will himself back to sleep.

"Cloud!"

Sitting bolt upright, he looked around the room. Where had that come from?

"Hello?"

"Cloud."

The voice was somewhat familiar. His heart squeezed.

"Who are you?"

"Cloud?"

"Where are you? What do you want?"

An eerie laugh filled the room, echoing through Cloud's stunned ears. His fingers curled tightly around his bedsheets. No. Not him. This could not be happening!

"Where do you think I am, Cloud?"

A panic beginning to grab hold of him, Cloud found himself pushing the covers back, standing up and pacing the room as he searched for the monster that plagued him.

"Get out of here. Leave me alone!"

"Turn around, Cloud."

He spun, shallow breaths throwing his chest up and down. He was met with a mirror. Cloud stared. All he could see was himself.

"What-"

"Go closer, Cloud. Look carefully."

Nervously, he took two steps, frowning at the dim reflection. The image frowned back. Wait! There! Cloud stopped breathing, staring at the ever-growing picture as his eyes widened. A thin sheen of sweat covered his forehead. His hands started to shake.

"Zack?"

"Hello, Cloud." The man in the mirror laughed, the voice different to what it should be. This voice was darker, more sinister. More nightmarish. Identical to the man that Cloud had fought and killed, not so long ago.

"What's happening?" Cloud whispered, his voice hoarse.

The figure turned, extending a hand towards Cloud. Closer and closer. Unable to move, Cloud could only stand and watch. Blood roared loud in his ears.

"Cloud?"

He gasped and spun around to face the new voice.

The bedroom door was ajar, one small head peering around and staring in at him. Taking deep breaths to steady himself, Cloud allowed himself a small sigh of relief.

"Denzel. What is it?"

"Who were you talking to?" the young boy asked.

"Oh, just ..." Cloud glanced back at the mirror. Zack was gone. "Thinking out loud. That's all."

"Oh."

Denzel entered the room, shutting the door and climbing onto Cloud's bed. Cloud raised an eyebrow and walked over.

"What's this?" he asked as Denzel buried himself under the covers.

"You're never home anymore. We never get to play. You always seem sad, Cloud. Tifa said you used to smile. Why don't you do that anymore?" The boy's innocent brown eyes questioned him.

"I just ... a lot of things have changed, Denzel. Everything's different now. I'm trying to make a living. That means I just don't have time for some things anymore."

"We miss you." Denzel pulled the covers over his head, muffling his voice.

Cloud stood there for a moment, staring down at the young boy with masked affection. Making a decision, Cloud pulled the covers back and got in beside Denzel.

"Alright. I'll try to be here more often." he spoke softly, laying a hand on the boy's head. Denzel snuggled up against him, closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep. Lying there in the dark, with no protection but a sick nine year old boy, he felt strangely safe.

* * *

Cloud sat in his office, going through paperwork for his delivery service. He was becoming more and more popular in this job. Every so often, he would consider hiring someone to work with him and help ease the strain. Yet Cloud knew that the money he and Tifa earnt was barely enough to make a living for themselves and the kids. He could not afford to hire anyone.

Three days had passed since that unsettling night. Cloud had pushed all thoughts of it to the back of his mind; it was not important and therefore nothing to be mulled over. He must have been dreaming.

Grabbing the package on the edge of the desk, Cloud put his newly-organised paperwork aside for the moment and headed for the door. He paused, his gaze landing on a white bottle, once hidden by the mountain of paper, now exposed for all to see.

His gut clenched and twisted. Cloud spun around, strode to it and snatched the bottle up, furtively looking around for any witnesses. He opened the lid, letting two small white pills fall out onto his open palm.

Cloud hesitated. Today wasn't such a bad day. Perhaps he didn't need them today after all.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs. Giving no further thought to his actions, Cloud dropped the pills back in the bottle, screwed the lid shut and stowed the bottle in another hiding place. Marlene skipped into his office, smiling up at him.

"Hey Cloud!" Her smile faded as she saw the parcel. "You're not going out, are you?"

"Sorry Marlene. Work to do." He dropped a hand to her head briefly as he walked past. "Tell Tifa I'll be back some time tonight."

Somewhat dejected, the young girl watched him leave once more, the question she had been intending to ask him gone from her mind.

Cloud spent the rest of the day making deliveries and pickups. His bike took quite a beating, fuel wise, and Cloud was glad to finally push it back into the garage, heading upstairs and through the busy bar. Not even acknowledging Tifa or the kids, he went straight to his room, shut the door and fell face-down on his bed.

He lay like that for some time, before discomfort in his position forced him to move. Rolling onto his back, Cloud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

A dull headache throbbed behind his eyes. It was very familiar. Cloud knew why it was there. He wished it would leave. Yet he knew he had no right to complain. After all, it was his own fault that the pain was there.

He hadn't taken the pills ...

Forcing his mind elsewhere, Cloud let the day's events run through his mind. Eventually, his thoughts found their way back to Marlene. Her sad expression. He had let her down.

Guilt gripped Cloud so tightly that he had to gasp. He shoved his fingers against his eyes now, fighting back the sudden and unexpected tears that welled up and threatened to spill over. Threatened to break his stronghold.

"I'm better than this," he muttered to himself, trying to remember what the doctor had told him. "I'm better than this!"

"Are you really, Cloud?"

He dropped his hand, eyes staring around the room as fear replaced guilt. That voice ... not again!

"I don't think you are, Cloud. After all, you could do so much more for Marlene. But you don't. That's why she's sad, Cloud. You made her that way!"

"Stop it." Cloud muttered.

"Why do you always do this to the ones you love? Perhaps you don't love them after all! You only want to hurt them. Oh, how can you know? How can you tell, what is love and what is hate?"

The words resonated through him, seeming to spill forth from inside his very soul. Cloud gritted his teeth.

"I love them. I know I do! I care about them."

"Cloud?"

He looked over at the edge of his bed, then sat up, shocked.

"Have you seen Aerith? She's my girlfriend. Do you know where she is? I can't find her anywhere."

Cloud began to tremble, unable to comprehend what was happening.

"What?"

"Hey buddy, what's the matter with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" The man on the edge of the bed laughed lightly, before the worry came back into his expression. "But seriously Cloud, have you seen Aerith? I need to know."

"You're dead." Cloud whispered.

"What?"

"I watched you die."

"Cloud, I don't know what you're on about. We got out of Shinra and made it to Midgar. We split up. You went to find Tifa, I went to find Aerith. Why are you so freaked out?"

Cloud stood up, pacing suddenly.

"This isn't happening. This can't be happening! You're dead!"

"Cloud, I'm not dead!"

"Yes you are, Zack! I watched you die! You saved my life! But I couldn't save you! And now... this isn't real!"

"Cloud." Zack stood and walked towards him, concern on the usually-carefree face. "I don't understand what you're saying, but we'll get you some help. Okay? Everything will be alright."

"No. Just, leave me alone!"

Spinning, he wrenched the door open and bolted out, stopping himself at the top of the stairs. His fingers dug painfully into the banister as he stared into nothing. No voice chased him. No memory haunted his footsteps.

With a shudder, Cloud turned around and stared back at his room, the door still swinging on its hinges. What was happening to him? Perhaps he should talk to the doctor. This couldn't be real. He needed help. More than what he'd already been getting.


	3. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 2

**CHAPTER 2**

The ceiling fan spun sickly, a small clicking sound made with each rotation, betraying the age and lack of care towards its maintenance. The two men sat in the room, beneath the fan. One with the clipboard, the other with an all-too familiar tortured expression haunting his face.

"Hallucinations, you say?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah."

"How often?"

"I dunno. They just started. I had the first one last week, just after our meeting. They've been erratic ever since then." Cloud said, not looking up. The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"And you didn't call? Didn't even come to ask me about it until now?"

Cloud just shrugged, not giving a reason for his actions. The doctor sighed and looked down at some of his previous notes.

"The hallucinations could be a side-effect of the drugs I gave you. You have been taking them, haven't you?"

Cloud shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, I thought it could be a side-effect, too. So ... I cut them out for a while."

"What?"

"At first, I thought it was fixed. But then I had a really bad one. And that just pushed me... even further. I'm sorry, Doc. I just can't see any way that I can ever get out of this mess. I'm cursed, I know it! Sometimes it really feels like it would be easier to lose control ..."

Cloud's voice dwindled off as he fiddled with the cuff of his glove. The doctor stopped writing and leaned forward, his voice stern.

"I don't want you to allow those thought patterns, Cloud! They're dangerous and destructive. Believe me, we can beat this. All of it. The hallucinations will go away. And so will your sadness. It just takes time."

The young man's laugh was harsh and abrupt.

"You really think it's worth it? I've done so many things, hurt and killed so many people! My sins are unforgivable. My behaviour is inexcusable. It would be easier for everyone if I just didn't exist anymore. They could all stop worrying."

"Oh really? And what about Tifa? What about Denzel and Marlene? How are they going to survive without your income? You know they depend on you, Cloud. They need you!"

"Yeah, they depend on me and I let them down! I just ... I can't do it anymore."

"Cloud-"

"Do you know how hard it was to not drive myself off the edge of the road today? On the way over here! There's a real nice cliff, I pass it every time I come here. And every time, it calls out to me and waits for me to answer it. I mean, it's just so ..."

He stopped as emotion overwhelmed him and he dropped his head in his hands. The doctor waited patiently, knowing there was more to come and knowing Cloud had to express himself. Only then could the healing process begin.

"Sometimes I really just wanna die, but at the same time I don't! And I do wanna beat this! I know I do! I just don't feel that way at the moment." His head drooped further, muffling his voice, "I don't think I'll make it home alive tonight."

"That's why we have this arrangement, Cloud. If you feel too insecure and unstable to be able to go home then you can stay here. You know that. You don't have to ask. Just stay for as long as you need, Cloud." The doctor's voice had softened, revealing the compassion and concern that drove this man to such devoted extremes.

Cloud didn't say anything as he struggled to bring the shards of his dignity back together. The doctor stood up.

"We'll stop for now then, shall we? I'll get us some food. You can set up the guest bed. You know where everything is. And we'll get you back on those anti-depressant pills. Just to help clear your mind."

As Cloud dragged the camp bed and linen out of the storage room, he forced his mind to think positively. This nightmare would end. He would conquer it. And those cruel hallucinations that taunted his sensitive memories would cease. He may even be able to come to terms with Zack's death. Maybe.

* * *

A week and a half passed. Cloud struggled through his daily life, making the deliveries out of necessity more than any other reason. He kept taking the pills, particularly after the doctor impressed firmly upon him not to change his medical dosage without prior recommendation.

The hallucinations did not ease.

If anything, they intensified. Cloud fought against them every night and regularly confided in the doctor, begging for a solution to his torment. Just when he thought he could defeat one problem, another rose up. Could he not just live a normal life like everyone else?

The hallucinations were most persistent when he was alone. Every now and then, Cloud would see the shadow of Zack standing behind someone else, but then it would be gone. Yet when he was alone, no-one else to stare in confusion at him, he saw them the strongest.

Cloud was in his office, tidying up as he delayed going downstairs to face Tifa and the kids. It was harder these days, to put on a normal face that was not tormented by nightmares and death wishes.

A soft draught ruffled his unruly hair, causing him to pause in his distracted movements. Slowly, Cloud turned around, searching the room with distrusting eyes.  
There was a young woman standing there, her hair pulled back in a pretty pink bow. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, fear and relief in her eyes as her bottom lip quivered.

"Aerith?"

A sob broke through and she flung herself at him, wrapping her thin arms around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder and cried. Cloud's heart hammered uncontrollably as confused thoughts whirled through his mind. Uncertainly, he lifted his hands and gently placed them on her back.

Solid. He could feel the fabric of her dress and the shudders of her breathing as her lungs expanded and collapsed. And warmth. The warmth of her skin permeated through the dress, to his hands. Shivers ran up and down his spine as goosebumps prickled his arms. How was this possible? She was real!

"Aerith ..."

Cloud couldn't manage to say anymore. He didn't know what to say. His throat burned with unexpressed emotion and he swallowed hard. The girl in his arms sobbed harder, as if understanding his pain and suffering. She clung desperately to him, squeezing him tighter and tighter. Cloud found his own arms constricting around her, pinning her to him. Never again. He couldn't lose her again! He wouldn't let it happen!

Slowly, Aerith's tears began to ease. Her sobs reduced to sniffles. She hung limply in his arms, not having the strength to cling tightly anymore.

"Shh. It's okay, Aerith. I'm here." Cloud murmured softly. Aerith nodded in response, not speaking.

"Cloud?" Tifa's voice called up the stairs, "Dinner's on the table! C'mon!"

He looked over at the door, desperately hoping Tifa would not walk through it. Aerith backed away slightly, her fingers trailing through his. Then nothing. The contact was broken.

"Wait, Aerith-" Cloud turned back to face her but his words were cut off.

She was gone.

Cloud's eyes widened and he started to hyperventilate. Within moments, he was tearing the office to shreds. Papers flew everywhere, drawers were left open. Where was she? Where did she go? Why did she leave?

Tifa's mouth hung open in disbelief as she walked into Cloud's office. What was he doing? He had said he was going to be tidying up, not creating more mess.

"Cloud!" Her voice penetrated into his mind and he looked up, stopping his wild rampage.

"Tifa."

"What are you doing?" She sounded incredulous. Cloud opened his mouth to reply, but stopped. Maybe Aerith had just been a hallucination. Maybe it hadn't been real. Yet he had felt her! She had cried into his chest! Cloud looked down at his shirt. There were no tearstains. An uncomfortable chill washed over him.

"Cloud? Are you okay? You look really freaked." Tifa's face pinched into a worried frown.

"I, uh ... I just ..."

"Cloud, what's wrong with you these days? You feel really distant, you don't hang around us as much. Sometimes you disappear for days with no explanation when you come back. I mean, I thought we'd gotten past all that!" Tifa sighed and stepped closer to him, "Well, at least you're here. That's all that really matters, right?"

"Right." Cloud mumbled, his eyes downcast. If only Tifa knew...

No! He couldn't tell her! He couldn't tell anyone! He was supposed to be the strong one, the one they all looked up to. He couldn't let them down. He'd already done that too much.

"So, uh, food's on the table?" Cloud asked, clearing his throat and trying to sound relaxed. Tifa shot him a funny look, but said nothing about it.

"Yeah, c'mon. The kids are waiting."

He moved to follow her downstairs, before hesitating and glancing around the room one last time. Tifa was already half way down the staircase. Cloud sighed and muttered one single, strained word under his breath before leaving.

"Aerith."


	4. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Blackness rose and fell all around him, bubbling and broiling with a seething rage that longed to be unleashed. To reign terror and cruel dominion over a broken world.

Cloud writhed within the grip of it all. The blackness slid over his whole body, chilling him with indiscernable whispers. His arms and legs felt incredibly heavy, weighed down by some invisible force. He was trapped, unable to escape this suffocating nightmare.

Something was coming, closer and closer. Something was going to hurt him. Hurt Tifa. Hurt Marlene and Denzel. Cloud strained upwards, fighting in near-panic to release himself from this prison.

"Cloud ..."

The eerie voice echoed off the blackness and reverberated through his skull. Struggling to keep his fear under control, Cloud fought once more.

"Cloud ... Do you think you can escape me?"

"Who are you? What do you want?" Cloud shouted at the voice, already knowing the answers to his questions.

"Why, Cloud! I'm devastated that you would forget me! I never forgot you, Cloud. Not once."

The voice seemed to be getting closer. The blackness roiled in evil delight. Its master was coming. Coming to instruct, to conquer and vanquish. The very epitome of evil and malice. Cloud trembled.

"Good to see you ... Cloud!"

All sanity and control over his fear left him. Cloud stared in unabashed terror as the man emerged out of the blackness, standing there with a malicious grin across his face. An expression that Cloud knew all too well.

"Sephiroth." Cloud's voice was surprisingly steady as he spoke. The fallen SOLDIER laughed in delight at the blonde's fear.

"Yes Cloud, I have returned. I have come for what is mine. I have come to do my Mother's bidding. Together, we will conquer this world and rid it of all existence!"

"No! You can't! I defeated you! I killed you!"

A deep laugh rumbled up from Sephiroth's chest. The sound filled Cloud's ears until they screamed in pain. The blackness pushed and fell again, as though laughing with its master.

"Oh, Cloud. Did you honestly think you could kill me that easily? Did you really think I would allow you to smite me down in such a short battle? I went easy on you, Cloud. I let you think you had killed me. For I saw another opportunity. One that I have made full use of. And this time, there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

"I will stop you! There is always something I can do!"

"And what if I were to tell you that this very evil you see standing before you came forth from within you? From within your very soul." Sephiroth fixed his glowing eyes upon Cloud. They seemed to hypnotise and for once, Cloud believed that Sephiroth was not lying.

"I can still stop you." Cloud whispered, even as he felt he deceived himself by saying so.

"Can you? Can you stop me? Can you stop yourself?" Sephiroth chuckled, "Let's find out!"

The blackness rose violently, crashing and tearing at Cloud. He began to struggle as the black tendrils wrapped around his limbs, dragging him down. It wanted to suffocate him, destroy him. Cloud gasped and writhed, adrenaline shooting through him.

It was no use. The blackness swelled over his chest, pressing up around his face. Somewhere in the background, Sephiroth was laughing. Cloud looked up one last time to see Sephiroth's face filling his vision, sneering at his helplessness.

"Fight me, Cloud." he hissed wickedly. Cloud tried to form words, but couldn't. His vision was darkening.

"Fight!"

* * *

Cold water splashed over his strained face, sending thousands of icy slivers into his nerves. Cloud shivered against the bite in the water as it awakened his senses fully and cooled his hot skin.

The dream had been so real, so vivid. When Cloud had awoke, he had thrashed against his covers until they were kicked back and he found himself dumped onto the floor. Slick with sweat and still shaking from the intensity of the nightmare, Cloud had dragged himself out to the bathroom to get dressed and out of there before anyone else realised he was up.

So far so good. It was five thirty. Tifa and the kids weren't up yet.

Going back to his room, Cloud pulled some fresh clothes on, grabbed his keys and phone and headed for the door. No-one stirred as he silently exited the building. Taking his bike, he wheeled it down the road a bit before starting the engine and tearing away.

The images from his dream were still real in his mind. If Cloud closed his eyes for even a moment, he knew they would come back to suffocate him once more.

Sephiroth ...

He was dead. Cloud knew that! He had killed him! So why was his mind scaring him like this? Why was everything he knew and believed being challenged?

Perhaps something was wrong with him. Perhaps there was nothing that his doctor could do to save him. Side-effect from over-exposure to mako? Possible. An experiment that someone at Shinra had performed on him? Possible.

Yet, if this were true, Cloud knew that nothing could be done to save him. He would drive himself insane, finally unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality. And when he lost his grip on the world, he would go down. Most likely taking someone close to his heart with him.

Cloud tried to push all these troubling thoughts aside as he rode. Edge slowly dropped away behind him and he entered the ruins of Midgar. His eyes were numb to the horrific sights all around him by now. He saw them all the time. Scars of a past world that refused to completely die. Ignoring the homeless who scavenged through the rubble and held out their hands desperately as he drove by, Cloud headed on.

Something flashed up ahead of him. Something light, carefree. Something that was a stark contrast to all that surrounded him in this barren place.

Aerith?

The name resonated in Cloud's head. But it couldn't be her. She was dead. Even though she had come to him. Even though she had cried in his arms. It was a lie. It had to be. Was it?

His eyes locked on her as he approached. The delicate features, the cascading brown hair. She was beautiful. Yet, riddled with pain and anguish. She turned towards Cloud. Her eyes met his. She smiled.

A man walked in front of Aerith, breaking the connection. Cloud slammed on the breaks, panicked gasps leaving him unsteady. She was gone. The man passed by, on his search for some lost treasure left behind in the ruins. Nothing remained of the young woman who had stood there, her eyes searching for Cloud.

A few scavengers pressed around Cloud, begging for food and money. They pulled at his clothes and tried to climb on the bike. Shoving them all back rather violently with sudden anger on his face, Cloud revved the engine once more and shot away. He had to get out of Midgar as soon as possible.

As he left the ruined city behind, Cloud headed away from civilisation. He travelled across the desert, down forgotten roads and old riverbeds. Through gaping chasms and across towering cliffs.

Cloud entered the longest chasm on his journey to his doctor. It was long, high and dark, with only a thin light at the other end. Ironic, really. Cloud knew there was light at the end of the tunnel that could be reached. This chasm was proof of it. He only wondered if the metaphor would hold true for his own struggles.

The roar of the engine filled the chasm, blocking all other thoughts out of Cloud's mind. In a way, this was his favourite part of the journey. Here, he could forget everything and just live. It was so peaceful.

A movement caught his peripheral vision. Reacting, Cloud looked up and located it, careful not to veer off-course. He frowned and gaped.

A man had fallen off the top of the chasm. He was plummeting to his death.

Cloud accelerated, desperate to reach the place of impact before it came and save the man. He skidded the bike to a halt and tensed his muscles, ready to leap.

The man's body jerked to an abrupt halt. One hand clung grimly to a small outcrop. He groaned as something in his shoulder popped. His body swayed beneath his grip, threatening to cause him to fall once more.

Cloud was hallucinating. He had to be! He knew this wasn't real! After all, not even Zack could be stupid enough to fall into a chasm of this size!

"Zack?!" The name was spoken before he could stop himself. Cloud bit his lip.

The man looked down, black strands falling in front of his eyes. A huge smile lit up his impish face.

"Cloud!" Without any hesitation, the man let go. Cloud gave a strangled cry and stepped forward in shock. The body hit the ground and rolled, before laying still. The man gave a soft groan, revealing his pain and regret of his actions.

"Man, that hurt!"

"Zack!" Cloud ran to his side, crouching down and checking him over. Slowly gathering himself, the spunky SOLDIER got to his feet and smiled at Cloud again, holding his right arm gingerly.

"Hey, Spikey! Don't'cha worry, I'm fine."

Cloud started to shake again. No. This wasn't real. He was hallucinating! He knew it.

"Zack ... you're not real. So, don't try to tell me you are. I don't know what's going on, but I do know you died! I watched it happen! So don't try to mess with me any further."

"Huh?" Zack's face twisted into an expression of confusion, "Uh, okay. I'm not here to mess with you, Cloud. I wasn't even looking for you! I was looking for Aerith, when the ground got loose and I slipped and fell. But hey! Speaking of which, have you seen Aerith?"

It took a moment for Cloud's spinning mind to catch up with Zack's incessant chatter.

"What?"

"Aerith! Have you seen her?"

"Uh..." A rumble shook the ground from behind. Cloud glanced back, noting the large truck that approached. He would need to move his bike to give it room to pass.

"... Yeah. Yeah, I saw h-"

Cloud stopped talking as he stared at the empty space in front of him. Zack was gone. He sighed, running a stressed hand through his hair. Just another hallucination. And the truck was getting closer. He had to move.

As he straddled the bike and got ready to drive away, Cloud noticed something. One tiny detail that sent chills up and down his spine. His hair stood on end and his nerves felt like they were on fire.

In the ground, right where Zack's body had landed was an indent. Exactly in the shape that Zack had been when he impacted. Cloud gripped the bike handles tightly. What could this mean?

The truck blasted its horn, nearly sending Cloud jumping ten feet into the air. Revving the engine with more force than necessary, Cloud churned up dust before releasing the clutch and hurling towards the end of the chasm.

He was tripping. He had to be.

Several minutes later, Cloud pulled up outside his doctor's house. He didn't have a scheduled appointment today, but one glance at the empty front yard told him no other patients were in today. Cloud walked to the front door and knocked.

The doctor answered a few seconds later. Surprised to see Cloud, he ushered him in to the examination room and quickly began the counselling session. They spoke lightly for a few minutes, merely letting Cloud grow comfortable enough to say what was playing on his mind.

"Hey, Doc..." Cloud hesitated, then continued, "Is it possible, when people die for them to have restless spirits?" He gave a short laugh, "Huh. I must sound crazy."

"No, you don't sound crazy, Cloud. Actually, a lot of my patients who hallucinate about deceased loved ones ask me that question."

"Well, not just restless spirits. But I mean, if two people loved each other and they both died, but at different times and at different places, could their spirits be in the lifestream, constantly searching but never able to find the other? Is... is that possible?"

The doctor gave an inaudible sigh, knowing this was going to be a delicate topic. He could tell from Cloud's expression that the poor man half wanted this theory to be true, so he wasn't hallucinating. Yet, at the same time, Cloud didn't want the theory to be true, because that would mean his two friends were unhappy in the lifestream.

"Cloud. I know it's hard to accept. But no. There's no way that such a thing is possible. I'm sorry, but you really are hallucinating. Look, people come up with many different theories to explain the things they see. But once you break it down and look at it closely, you'll realise that you've always known, all along. Those things just aren't possible."

Cloud said nothing as he stared down, merely nodding. The doctor was right. Cloud had known the answer in his gut before he had even said anything. Such an idea was ridiculous.

"So, what do I do, then? I mean, I still get these hallucinations on a regular basis. Isn't there any way to fight them?"

The doctor bit his lip, wondering if he should tell Cloud or not. Yet as he looked at the young man's desperate expression, the doctor knew he had to. Cloud needed the help, no matter how difficult and painful it was.

"There's only one way I can think of that might help you. But it will be hard. Very hard. It will mean ignoring every instinct that tells you to help your lost friends when you see them. And I'm sure you will see them in many different dangerous situations. But there's only one way to deal with something like this."

He paused.

"Cloud. You have to ignore them. You have to ignore the hallucinations. Whenever you see Zack or Aerith, you have to tell yourself that they're not real. You have to walk on by. You have refuse to speak to them. Don't listen to whatever they say or do to try and get your attention. Eventually, they'll go away. Treat the hallucinations like waking nightmares. Also, this will reduce the risk of you getting caught out by Tifa, Denzel and Marlene. After all, you don't want them to know. Do you?"

"No. I don't want them to know."

"Then this is the only way."

Cloud sighed as he contemplated the proposition. He moaned and tore his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"But how can I do such a thing? How can I ignore them? They were such good friends to me! They meant so much to me! I can't just ignore them!"

"You have to, Cloud. It's the only way for you to help accept the situation and move on from it. Actually, it might also help the hallucinations to ease. If you deny the images, then you do not give them any more strength within your life. Nothing further to spur the hallucinations on. Ignoring them might make them go away completely."

"Yeah." Cloud's voice was rough, on the verge of cracking, "I just don't want my memories of the real Zack and Aerith to go away."

The doctor said nothing, knowing that this was a risk Cloud would have to come to terms and deal with.

There was still a long and painful journey ahead of the young ex-SOLDIER.


	5. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Cloud stayed over that night. His decision allowed the doctor to see one of his nightmares firsthand. As he slept, the horrific images gripped him once more.

The building was dark and hollow. An unsettling instinct seeped through every nook and cranny of the place. Cloud hesitantly walked forward, not sure what he was going to find. Aerith's Church was so different to how he remembered. It did not feel like a sanctuary. It felt like his haven had been violated.

As he walked, the shadows seemed to follow, haunting his steps and whispering eerily behind his back. Cloud walked faster, hoping to escape the shadows. Yet they only chased him faster, building stronger and stronger.

Unexpectedly, Cloud found himself upon his knees. He dropped his hands out to support himself. Something squished underneath them. Slowly, Cloud drew his hands back and examined them.

A rich, red liquid dripped from his gloves. It was thick and had a pungent, unforgettable smell.

Blood.

Scrambling hurriedly to his feet, Cloud tried to back up. The shadows pressed in closer, stopping him from going anywhere. His breath became ragged as he stared at the flowerbed before him. It transformed before his eyes, wrenching his agonised heart.

The blood ran through the flowers, seeming to pulse with a heartbeat. It got thicker and thicker, climbing the stems and tainting the once-perfect flowers. The flowers wilted, melting into crimson liquid as they succumbed to the evil.

Aerith's flowers were gone. A bubbling mass of pulsing blood was all that remained.

Cloud moaned, unable to form coherent words to express any of the agony he was currently experiencing. He could feel the evil presence emanating out of the blood. It had turned into a river. He was knee-deep in it, the acrid scent burning his nostrils. Cloud felt sick.

The harsh, echoing laugh started, slowly building from the back of the church until it reverberated through Cloud's soul. He shuddered as the river of blood surged and rose higher, pressing against him. He knew that laugh.

The laughter built up, louder and louder. More mocking with each tone. In response, the blood pushed against Cloud, beginning to bubble up and form a mold around his body.

Restricting him. Suffocating him. Drowning him.

Cloud thrashed, trying to force the blood backwards. His hands merely splashed through it, useless against its attacks on him.

This was it. This was the end. He wasn't going to be able to defeat it. All his struggles and small triumphs had been for nothing. Cloud couldn't win this time. The laughter screamed in his head, threatening to split his skull ...

"Cloud!"

The doctor grabbed him and pushed his arms down, desperate to wake his tormented patient. This was bad. No, beyond bad! It was shocking, terrible, scarring! It blew every textbook example of hallucinogenic nightmares out of the water! He had to wake him, now! Or he would seize.

"Cloud, c'mon! Listen to me! Wake up!"

The young man screamed, his voice half-hoarse from all the previous screams he had unleashed. The doctor gritted his teeth as Cloud fought against him, his steel-grips cutting off the circulation in his arms.

"Cloud! That's enough! It's not real!"

Managing to twist his arm far enough for a split moment, the doctor slapped him, hard. Cloud's eyes jerked open in mid-scream.

Slowly, the noise died on his lips as his eyes focused and Cloud managed to recognise the man restraining him. His panicked breaths heaved relentlessly, even as he sagged and allowed his hands to fall loose.

"Good?" the doctor said gently, before moving back. Cloud just lay there, gasping for a few more moments, before moaning and shuddering with his eyes squinted shut.

A dream. It had all been a dream. Just a nightmare.

A nightmare that had been far too real for his liking. Far too cruel. And in a deranged, twisted way, far too possible.

No! It wasn't possible! Blood did not spring forth from flowers! That harsh, echoing laugh would never ring out again! Sephiroth was dead! Cloud had killed him! He knew he was gone! Wasn't he?

"Cloud?"

Slowly opening his eyes, the young man turned to face the doctor, his face drawn and tired.

"Talk to me. What happened? What did you see?" Cloud dropped his head, unwilling to recount the horrific, vivid images that tormented his soul.

"The end of my world." he muttered, turning his body away and wrapping his arms around his knees. He shuddered once more.

The doctor stared at Cloud's back, unsure of what to say or even if he should say anything at all. The end of his world? Cloud's world? The doctor wondered what that would be like. What could be so utterly horrific, so unspeakable that it would render this strong man helpless as he trembled and claimed his world was falling apart?

Could he really give Cloud the help he needed? He didn't know.

All the doctor knew, as he watched the traumatised man rock himself, was that he had to help him. No matter how hard. No matter the cost.

* * *

Cloud left two days later. He went back to Seventh Heaven, back to Tifa and the kids. Back to his life.

Things seemed to be going okay.

Tifa had given him funny looks, but hadn't bothered to ask questions this time. Secretly, she felt a part of her was giving up on waiting for Cloud. It was unlikely that he'd ever come around, unlikely that he'd ever be there when she needed him. There had been a time, once, when she could have relied on him. But no longer. She had to move on.

Cloud truly seemed to be making an effort this time. He spent less and less time alone, preferring human company to the foreboding silence and threatening hallucinations. Denzel and Marlene revelled in their time spent together, ecstatic that Cloud had finally come back into their lives. Each day, he spent a couple of hours playing with them, just talking to them or just watching them sleep.

Tifa did not understand Cloud's new behaviour. She was glad he was making an effort, but could not help but wonder. He seemed happier. A lot happier. And perhaps freer. But something was still wrong. She saw the expression on his face, whenever she caught a glimpse of him alone. An expression that told of deep, wrenching pain and a solid fear.

What was he running from?

The hallucinations seemed to be held at bay. Cloud really only suffered from nightmares now. Of course, there was the odd hallucination here and there, but only when he let himself be alone for too long. Sometimes he would think he caught a glimpse of Aerith standing behind Tifa, as he played with the kids, but the image was always gone when he looked again.

This new tactic from his doctor seemed to be working. Perhaps the doctor was right. Perhaps Cloud could be free. Perhaps he could smile again one day. Perhaps...

And then it happened. The reminder that Cloud was not as free as he thought he was.

Cloud sat with Denzel and Marlene in the lounge room. They were deciding what game they should play. Denzel voted for Snap, Marlene wanted Snakes and Ladders and Cloud didn't care. Tifa smiled as she brought them a tray of snacks.

"Come on, Marlene! Snap is so much cooler than Snakes and Ladders!" Denzel argued as he reached for a biscuit. Cloud watched in mild amusement as Marlene huffed and folded her arms resolutely.

"No it's not! You don't know anything, Denzel!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Cloud stopped listening. His eyes fixed on Denzel's hand. The boy lifted the biscuit to his mouth, not noticing as it turned into a liquid, crimson and terrifying. It clung to his fingers, slowly spreading up his arm.

The blood in Cloud's veins ran cold. No. Not this. Not Denzel. He was imagining it! He had to be! Yet he could not convince himself that the graphic scene before his eyes was a hallucination.

"Denzel!" Cloud cried and lunged forward, grabbing the boy's arm just above the flow of the evil, growing blood.

"What?" Denzel looked up in surprise.

"It's alright Denzel, I'm going to save you. I won't let him hurt you!"

"Cloud? What are you talking about?"

Steeling himself, Cloud slid his hand down Denzel's arm, trying to scrape the blood off. Instead, the blood clung to him and began spreading. Fear in his eyes, Cloud looked back up at Denzel. The blood had reached the young boy's neck.

"Cloud?" Denzel sounded nervous, almost scared.

"Why is this happening?!" Cloud shouted at no-one as he began to scrape at the blood, trying to stop it from advancing any further. A harsh laugh echoed in his ears, terrifying him straight through. "No!" Cloud tore at himself, scratching deeply and he struggled and writhed.

"Cloud! Stop it!" Tifa ran out of the other room, grabbing him and fighting against his crazed actions.

"No! I have to defeat him! I have to win!" Cloud shouted back, no longer understanding what he was saying or what was happening.

"Cloud!" Tifa drew back a hand, then let it fly. The resounding slap had the desired effect. The children gasped, staring wide-eyed. Cloud stood there, his hands shaking as Tifa glared at him, fists clenched.

"What's happening to you?"

The ex-SOLDIER didn't reply.

"Cloud! What's going on? What were you doing? Why don't you talk to me anymore? Why can't you just open up and tell me so I can help you? Please Cloud! You're scaring me!"

"Just leave me alone!"

He bolted. Cloud ran as hard and as fast as he could. The door was left open in his wake, swinging on the hinges. Tifa just moaned hopelessly and dropped her head in her hands as they heard the engine roar to life, before tearing off down the street.

"Tifa?" Marlene's soft, scared voice piped up. Tifa looked up. "What's going on? I'm scared."

Sighing, Tifa sat down next to the children. She pulled Marlene into her lap and drew Denzel to her side.

"I don't really know what's going on. But I think Cloud's in trouble. Like, he needs some help. So we have to make sure that he gets the help, okay?"

"What kind of help?"

"I'm not sure. But I'm going to find out."

* * *

It was almost midnight when he returned. The kids were fast asleep. No lights were on in the house. Silently, he crept towards the stairs.

"Cloud. We need to talk." The voice came from behind him. He sighed. Tifa.

"What do you want to talk about?" Cloud asked, resigned.

"You know what I want to talk about! Something's been bothering you for a long time now, hasn't it? You've been trying to hide it. But today it finally caught up with you, didn't it? Cloud, talk to me. I just want to help. Please. I'm worried! And so are the kids. Don't make us worry anymore. Let's do something about this. We want to help you."

"I'm sorry Tifa. I didn't mean to scare you like that. And the kids... I'll make it up to them."

"Just another promise then, huh? Cloud, stop giving yourself a reason to need to make things up to us! I just ..." Tifa sighed and hung her head, "I don't want the kids to be disappointed anymore, Cloud."

"Is that what I am?" He swung around to face her.

"No, Cloud-"

"Is that really what you think of me? A disappointment?"

"Sometimes, yes!" They stood there in the dark, glaring at each other. Tifa began to regret her words, but knew she could not take them back. After all, they were true.

"I just mean Cloud, if you don't address the issue, then the problem's not going to go away. I don't want you to be a disappointment. So let me help you."

Cloud began to turn away.

"I don't need your help."

"Cloud-"

"Here." He tossed her a small box. "I went to a doctor. He said the hallucination was a side-effect from something I ate. He gave me those pills to take every couple of hours for the next day. You know. Just until that food's outta my system. So there's nothing to worry about, Tifa. I've gotten help. I'm going to be fine. Just some bad food." The foul taste of such a bold lie lay thickly on his tongue.

Tifa sighed and rubbed her temple with one hand.

"Oh, Cloud. What am I gonna do with you?" Stepping forward, she gave him a gentle, apologetic hug and handed the box back.

Not saying another word, they both headed upstairs to their rooms. Tifa shook her head as she closed her door and climbed into bed. That Cloud! He would be the death of her.

* * *

The room was shrouded in darkness, the only faint light emitting from the phone that sat on the bedside table. Blinking, slowly, alerting him that there was an unread message, waiting for his attention.

Cloud sat on the edge of his bed, staring straight ahead and ignoring the blinking phone. His fists were clenched into tense balls and his face was tight, betraying the underlying stress he was feeling. Here, in the darkness, he did not have to worry about what others thought of him. He did not have to feel their eyes on his back, or listen to their whispers. No-one could see him. It was his sanctuary.

Or was it?

A light hand rested on his shoulder, playing with the fabrics covering his skin. Cloud swallowed hard, but refused to turn around.

"Cloud?"

She spoke. It was the first time she had spoken. Why? What did she want with him? Why did she come here?

Why was he allowing himself to believe her illusion?

Cloud grit his teeth as she tugged again. Her weight dipped the bed as she sat next to him. Sniffs came first, followed by soft sobs. The dull ache inside Cloud's chest wrenched painfully.

"I'm scared, Cloud. Please, help me!"

Tilting his head upwards slightly, as if summoning strength from the darkness around him, Cloud steeled himself.

"You're not real, Aerith. I know you're not really here. I'm just imagining it. So go away! Leave! And don't come back!"

She pulled back slightly, the pain obvious in her body language, even before she spoke.

"What? Cloud, what are you talking about? Please-"

"Just go!" he snapped, before lowering his voice, "Haven't you done enough damage already?"

The first tremors began, running through her hand into his shoulder. Cloud slowly closed his eyes and grit his teeth. How could he do this to her? He felt like a monster!

"C-cloud!" Aerith whimpered.

Something trickled down his shoulder, dripping onto his lap. Reluctant to know exactly what it was, Cloud let it drip for a while before finally opening his eyes and looking down. His heart sank and a bitter taste rose in his mouth.

Blood.

"Cloud, help me! Please!"

Unable to stop himself, he looked over at Aerith. What he saw made him panic.

"No! Aerith!"

A huge, gaping wound lay in her chest, the blood spilling forth from it. Cloud couldn't tear his eyes away. It was the wound Sephiroth had given her, when he killed her...

"Cloud ... save me ..."

A thin crimson line ran from her mouth, down her neck, arm and onto Cloud's shoulder. Cloud drew a shaky breath as her grip wilted and her hand fell. Unable to ignore her anymore, he lunged forward and grabbed her, gathering the dying girl in his trembling arms.

"Aerith! Aerith! Oh, Aerith, I'm sorry! Please, live!"

Her hand reached up and touched his face, leaving a red smear behind.

"Cloud ... thank you ..." The young woman's eyes slid shut and a final sigh escaped her lips.

"No ... Aerith!" Cloud felt himself close to tears. Not again. She had died, again! And he was still unable to save her. Why? Why was this happening?

The room started to vibrate, then shake. A low rumble began to rise, becoming a hideous, cruel laugh. Cloud's head whipped up.

"You again?! Why? Why would you do this?! You're dead!"

Just like Aerith, huh?

"Just stop! What do you want from me? Leave me alone!" Cloud screamed at the blackness.

The weight disappeared from his arms. Looking down, a chill washed over him as he saw that Aerith was gone. All that remained were bloodstains. Cloud rubbed his fingers together. The blood smudged. His breathing ragged, he left the room and headed for the back door. He would get no more sleep tonight.

* * *

* * *

The young ex-SOLDIER shouldered the light pack and stared out over the rugged landscape. It was just as ugly, yet beautiful, as he remembered. Flicking his overgrown black hair out of his face, he smiled. The corners of his brilliant blue eyes crinkled, an innocent twinkle gleaming brightly.

Finally. At long last, he would be able to start the future he had dreamed about, ever since leaving Shinra. There was only one thing left to do. Only one person left to find. One person, who was still alive.

"Alright then, Cloud. Just hang in there a little while longer. I'm coming. Besides, you didn't really think I'd abandon a Grunt like you in a world like this, did'ya?" the man muttered under his breath, imagining his friend's reaction.

Unable to wipe the smile off his face, he pulled the Buster Sword out of the ground, slung it on his back and headed down to the town. The sword wouldn't be needed up here anymore. There was no grave left to mark. The living did not need gravestones.

Zack Fair had returned.


	6. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 5

**CHAPTER 5**

Dark clouds were massing on the horizon as the sleek, powerful machine purred across the landscape. His gloved fingers curled tightly around the handle bars, the pressure relentless on the throttle. He paid no attention as the wind lashed across his bare face, stinging his eyes til they watered freely.

Cloud felt as though he was breaking.

With each moment that passed, every second that ticked by, he felt more helpless. There was no way he was going to be able to defeat these hallucinations. They were going to conquer him. Just like Sephiroth's voice had told him. He couldn't fight himself. He was losing the battle.

As Cloud struggled to hold the fragile pieces of himself together, the bike led him to a place he had not been for some time.

Rubble crunched beneath the tires. Slowly, the bike came to a halt outside a familiar building. Cloud silently dismounted and stepped towards the entrance.

He hesitated.

The doors hung open, one of them missing some hinges. The support beams of the front awning seemed about to give in. The windows that still had glass in the panes were broken, cracked and crumbling. The whole building looked as though it had given up on surviving in this world of terrible wars and constant decay.

It was the personification of how Cloud felt.

Unsure of why he was here, Cloud forced himself to walk forward. There was no point in going back. He was already here. Almost reluctantly, he stepped into the degrading remnants of the Church.

A thick layer of dust covered the insides. The stone pillars were chipped and crumbling. The pews were pitted by termites, some of them having collapsed on themselves a long time ago.

How long had it been since Cloud had last set foot in this place?

Utter despair washed over Cloud as he took in all that was left of Aerith's Church. Emotion choked him and it was all he could do not to throw himself on the ground and sob.

Something caught his eye. Something that stood at the feature of the room. Something that had refused to change, refused to be affected by the decay.

Stumbling, Cloud hurried forward. No. It couldn't be! He fell to his knees, his hands outstretched.

The flowers. Aerith's flowers!

Delicate petals gracefully sculpted up towards the sunlight, the stems swaying in the gentle breeze. Myriads of colours long since forgotten danced together. A silent, unseen dance that they would continue until the end of the world. Cloud cupped a flower in his hands, lowering his head to inhale the unique scent. The scent that had followed Aerith everywhere.

Memories crashed through his mind in a relentless torrent. Unable to release the flower, Cloud stayed there. Aerith. He missed her so much. Zack. He had saved Cloud. Why did everything have to change? Why did everything have to die in the end?

What if it doesn't? What if beauty and life can flourish in the midst of pain and death?

The soft breeze seemed to whisper to him as it gently pushed through his hair, swaying the incomparable flowers towards him.

Cloud lifted his head and looked out over the flowers. Yes. Beauty and life could flourish. There was hope for him yet.

Unable to contain it any longer, the broken man cried.

* * *

Cold wind howled through the dilapidated building. Cloud shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. There was a distinct scent of rain on the air. The storm would break soon, with an intense ferocity.

It was time to leave.

Somewhat reluctant to leave, Cloud got to his feet and took one last look around the silent, ancient Church. A strange peace had settled over him, one that he could explain. This place was still a sanctuary for all who sought refuge within its walls. No matter how old or degraded it had become. It would always hold this unspoken beauty.

Cloud frowned as he gazed at the flowerbed once more. There was something he had not noticed before. An abnormality that should not have been present.

There was a small patch of flowers missing.

He started forward to examine it closer, but a crash of thunder brought the current situation back to his mind. If Cloud wanted to get home before he was soaked completely through, he needed to leave now.

With a wistful sigh, Cloud turned and exited the Church. As he climbed onto his bike, the first drops of refreshing rain began to hit the ground. He tossed a quick glance up at the foreboding sky, before revving the engine and riding away.

Cloud rode just ahead of the storm. He kept the throttle steady and his course as direct as possible.

He felt really good.

Perhaps something had changed. It felt as though it had. The whole time at Aerith's Church, Cloud had not suffered from a hallucination. Perhaps he was finally free of them. Perhaps he could return to his normal life. Finally. After such a long battle.

Cloud was starting to hope again.

The bike wound through familiar streets, before coming to a purring halt outside Seventh Heaven. Cloud dismounted and wheeled the bike into the garage, carefully standing it up before turning to go inside.

The bar was empty.

Cloud stared around in surprise. Business had been picking up recently. Where were all the customers? Why weren't the taps flowing? Where was Tifa?

On his guard, the young man slowly crept through the bar, ears pricked as he headed for the lounge room. Voices reached his ears and Cloud hurried onwards. He could hear Tifa. She sounded very animated and excited. And... there was another voice. One he could not quite identify.

Reaching the lounge room, Cloud pushed the door open and stepped in. Abruptly, he froze, his expression locked on nothing as he stared at the scene before him. His hands started to tremble.

Zack stood up, a smile spreading across his face as he recognised the man in the doorway. Tifa copied him, an excited grin taking up permanent residence on her face. This was what Cloud needed, she was convinced. With Zack back in his life, Cloud would be able to relax and finally return to normal, for good.

"Spikey! Surprise! Uh, I'm not dead after all!" Zack strode towards Cloud, his arms outstretched. Cloud stared for a moment longer, before dropping his head and walking straight past him.

"Tifa? Why is the bar closed? I thought business was really good at the moment."

"Um, because of Zack, Cloud." Tifa replied, a puzzled expression on her face. Zack stood behind them, a confused frown creasing his forehead.

"What about him? Is it his memorial day? No. It's not. That's in two months and three days. So why should Zack have any affect on business today?"

"Because he's alive, Cloud! He's standing right behind you!"

"No he's not. Zack is dead. Alright?"

"Cloud-"

"I watched him die, Tifa! I think I would know better than you what a dead person looks like!" Cloud snapped. He could not believe this. His nightmares had invaded Tifa's mind, too! How would he explain this to his psychiatrist?

Tifa clenched her fists, suddenly enraged at Cloud.

"So what, you think you have more experience than me at dealing with dead bodies? In case you don't remember Cloud, I was there when Sector 7 was destroyed! By Shinra! And I was there when geostigma came around! I watched as people who I worked with and lived with died around me! Don't you dare try and tell me that I don't know what death looks like!"

"Be that as it may, Tifa, Zack is dead!"

"He came back to life!"

"That doesn't happen! No-one ever comes back to life! Not my parents! Nor Denzel's or Marlene's. Not the original members of Avalanche. Not anyone from Shinra. Not even Aerith! And she was an Ancient! So certainly not Zack Fair!"

Spinning on his heel, Cloud stormed out of the room. Zack reached out a hand to stop his friend, but Cloud ignored him.

Tifa and Zack stood there, shocked by Cloud's outburst.

"Why didn't he believe it? I was standing right in front of him!" Zack said, pain in his voice.

"I don't know. But Cloud ... Cloud's had some problems lately. I mean ever since Aerith died – oh. I'm sorry. You didn't know about that, did you?"

"No, it's okay. I had figured as much." Zack sighed and gazed out the door that Cloud had exited through, "She meant something to him, didn't she?"

"Yeah. She meant something to all of us."

* * *

Denzel's brown eyes flicked around the dark room suspiciously. Something had woken him, but he didn't know what. Perhaps the rain, he thought as he glanced over at his windows where the blinds were shut tight. He could hear the patter of the water on the glass.

A sharp pain stabbed through his forehead and Denzel winced, one hand reflexively going to his brow. The sticky substance that covered his fingers still made his stomach turn.

It must have been the geostigma that had woken him. As the pain began to ease, Denzel relaxed and examined his fingers. He paused, his vision drawn to something further away. Slowly, Denzel lowered his hand. Something, or someone, stood at the end of his bed, cloaked in shadows.

"Who's there?" Denzel demanded, the young boy managing to keep his voice steady.

"Do you want to know the truth, Denzel? Do you want to know why this world is dying? Why you have geostigma? Why so many people have lost their lives?" A deep, foreboding voice rumbled out of the shadowed figure. Denzel clutched his bed covers tightly.

"I already know. It's because of Sephiroth! He destroyed everything!"

"Is that so? Did Sephiroth kill your parents? Did he make Cloud go away on long trips and leave you all alone, uncertain and scared?" The tone in the figure's voice darkened.

"What are you talking about?" Denzel asked, fear creeping up his spine.

"Lies, Denzel, it's all lies! Don't you want to know the truth? Don't you want to know how Sephiroth could do all these things and still manage to survive? Why can no-one find him to kill him?"

"He's dead! Cloud killed him! He told me so!"

Denzel's breath came in rapid gasps as he stared at the figure, motionless at the foot of his bed. Pain began to ebb back into his forehead and he cringed.

"Oh really."

A sudden flash of lightning lit up the room for one brief moment. Yet it was all Denzel needed. Horror overtook him as he lay in fear. The man at the foot of his bed had been identified in that flash of light.

Sephiroth.

"Cloud told me. He told me! Y-you're dead! You're not real! He told me." Denzel's voice dropped to a whisper as another flash of lightning filled the room. Sephiroth was gone.

"Cloud was lying, Denzel." The boy yelped and flinched sideways. The man sneered and bent low, his silver hair cascading towards the bed. Denzel tried to wriggle away, but was held in place by the growing pain in his forehead. He felt the stigma drip down the side of his head.

"Shall I tell you the truth? I think you deserve to know. Don't you?"

Denzel said nothing, the fear and terror evident on his face.

"Denzel. I am Cloud." Sephiroth's voice warped, slowly melting into the tenor of Cloud's voice. The boy began to hyperventilate. What was going on? He didn't understand!

"And Cloud is me." The voice changed back to Sephiroth's. "We are the same!" Sephiroth flinched forward, causing Denzel to yelp. In place of the silver-haired madman leaning over Denzel's bed, was a crazed-eyed Cloud. The blond extended a hand, slowly tracing a finger through the line of dripping geostigma.

"What's going on?" Denzel trembled, his voice on the verge of breaking as his body shivered helplessly.

"Don't you understand, Denzel? We are the same!" Cloud said. Thunder rumbled ominously outside. The figure molded back into Sephiroth's form.

"No ... Cloud!" Denzel whimpered in terror.

A malicious grin spread over Sephiroth's face. His shoulders started to vibrate, then an eerie sound reverberated out of his chest and filled Denzel's ears.

He was laughing.

The voice began to change, sliding towards Cloud's familiar tenor once more. Denzel shook his head as tears began to fill his eyes. A flash of lightning blinded him for a moment. Then Cloud was before him, leaning over him with an expression of cruel intent engraved on his face as he laughed in the young boy's face.

Cloud was suddenly gone, Sephiroth's body and laughter back in his place. The flickering changes continued, thunder echoing in the background. Denzel's eyes grew wider and wider as the tears began to slide down his face. This couldn't be possible! How could Cloud and Sephiroth be the same person? Why?! Why had Cloud lied to him all this time? His young mind was increasingly confused as he watched Sephiroth and Cloud flicker in front of him.

The laughter grew more and more intense until Denzel realised it was both Sephiroth's and Cloud's laughter mixed into one. The sound was more terrifying and unnerving than anything else he had ever experienced in his short life.

The figure bent lower over Denzel's bed, the hand outstretched once more. The flat palm touched his forehead.

A flash of pain stabbed through Denzel. He cried out fearfully. The hand stayed there on his head as Sephiroth and Cloud sneered and laughed down at him. Gasping for air through his sobs, Denzel could only stare up at them helplessly.

The pain grew and grew in his forehead. Denzel whimpered and tried to call out for help. Yet his voice choked and would not work. The geostigma was killing him. He could feel the thick substance dripping down his head.

Denzel had had enough. He just wanted it all to end. This was too much. Too much to deal with. He could not handle this knowledge.

Succumbing to the pain, his mind shut down. His eyes closed as he disappeared into unconsciousness. His young body went limp.

Sephiroth removed his hand and straightened. A dark smirk perverted his evil face. Satisfied that he had poisoned the boy's mind enough for now, he turned and left the room. He walked back into Cloud's bedroom, shutting the door behind him. One more dark deed, complete.


	7. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Cloud scrubbed a hand over his tired face as he descended the stairs. He did not feel as though he had gotten much sleep. Perhaps the storm had kept him restless, without actually waking him.

He entered the kitchen to see Denzel at the table, huddled as close as he possibly could get to ... Zack. Zack had one arm languidly thrown over the boy's shoulders, as though he had been comforting him. They were eating in silence.

Denzel looked up as Cloud approached. Raw fear swamped his expression and he balled the side of Zack's shirt into his fist in his desperation to be protected. Zack looked from Cloud to Denzel, confusion on his face. The young boy had not told Zack what had happened the night before. He had simply eluded to horrific nightmares that had plagued his sleep.

"Morning Denzel. Did you sleep well?" Cloud asked, not even glancing in Zack's direction. The boy said nothing, his eyes fixed on Cloud as the blood drained from his face. Cloud raised an eyebrow when Denzel did not respond. With a sigh, he gathered all he would need for his breakfast and sat opposite the young boy.

"What's the matter, Denzel? You seem upset, nervous about something. What's wrong?" Cloud stared evenly at him as he waited for an answer.

Zack glanced between the two once more. He did not understand why Denzel was so afraid. Aside from Cloud blatantly ignoring Zack, Cloud was just being Cloud. What could cause Denzel so much fear and terror?

"Cloud, I dont think-"

"I know things have been tough lately. And I know I haven't always been around. But I'm gonna change that. I'm gonna be here for you, Denzel. I'm gonna protect you." Cloud continued, ignoring as Zack tried to speak.

Denzel was shaking. His small chest rose and fell in shallow gasps and his entire body trembled as though he was in the grips of a terrible fever. Suddenly concerned, Zack pressed the back of his hand to Denzel's forehead. The boy flinched as pain sparked from the geostigma. Zack looked down at his hand. The black substance clung to his skin.

"Hey, are you okay Denzel?" Zack asked softly. The boy merely drifted closer to him once more. Cloud narrowed his eyes.

"Denzel. Your stigma, it's ..." Cloud reached out a hand towards the boy. Something inside Denzel snapped.

"Stay away from me!" he shrieked, jerking backwards with such ferocity that he knocked his stool over. He stood there for a moment, utter terror reflecting in his eyes, before he turned and bolted out of the kitchen. Denzel charged up the stairs and out of sight. A slamming door told the two men exactly where he had gone.

Tifa emerged from the bathroom, her eyes wide in surprise.

"What was that all about?" she asked, looking from Zack to Cloud.

"I don't know." Cloud said, "But I think his geostigma is starting to affect him more."

"That stuff isn't contagious, is it?" Zack asked, lifting his tainted hand.

"Uh ... well ..."

"Alright. I'll go wash it off." Zack said and left. Cloud continued with his breakfast as though Zack had never been there in the first place. With a sigh, Tifa sat down and stared at Cloud.

"Why do you pretend he doesn't exist?" she asked softly.

"Pretend who doesn't exist?" Cloud asked around a mouthful of food.

"You know who I'm talking about! Zack! He's not dead, Cloud. He came back! Why can't you accept that? Why don't you want him to be alive?"

"Hey! He was my best friend! Of course I want him to be alive!" Cloud snapped suddenly. As Tifa bit her lip and began to turn away, Cloud felt a pang of remorse. "Look, I'm sorry. But Tifa, Zack's dead. He's not coming back. And I don't know why you think he has but... maybe you need to get some help. I mean life hasn't exactly been easy on any of us, has it? We can start to imagine things that aren't really there,-"

"Excuse me?! You think I'm hallucinating that Zack's alive? Cloud! Are you blind? Why can't you see him?! I'm not hallucinating and I don't need help! You do!"

Tifa stormed out of the room just as Zack was coming back in. Bewildered, the ex-SOLDIER noticed the tears gathering in her eyes.

"Tifa-" She jerked her arm free and continued on past him.

The kitchen was quiet for an awkward moment. Zack finally walked forward and sat down to finish his breakfast.

"Cloud, I know I'm a bit out of the loop so I don't know exactly what's going on here, but you gotta listen to me. Cloud. I'm not dead! Sure, I was for a while. But that changed. I was ... well, it sounds crazy, but I was brought back to life! Please Cloud. Just let me explain while you listen. Please."

Cloud stood up to take his bowl over to the sink. Zack grew frustrated.

"Cloud! Don't you dare walk away from me, Grunt! I don't care why you're ignoring me, you still have to give the respect I deserve!" Zack snarled, trying to pull rank.

Cloud hunched over the sink, his brow furrowed. This hallucination was so strong and so darn persistent! He had to fight it. He had to win! He would not give in to Sephiroth. He would conquer his mind. He would survive.

"I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!" Cloud whispered the soft mantra to himself.

"What? Do what, Cloud? What are you talking about?"

"Just ignore it. It'll go away." Cloud hissed through his teeth, eyes scrunched shut.

"Cloud! What is going on? You can talk to me! We're friends, right?"

"Enough!" Cloud spun around, tortured rage on his face. He could hold himself back no longer. Perhaps if he took the aggressive, direct approach, the hallucination would finally disappear. "Just, enough! I can't stand it anymore. Please. Just leave me alone!"

"What have I done?!" Zack shouted back, standing and approaching the blonde man. "I don't understand. Tell me what's going on and what I need to do to fix it! I'm your friend, Spikey. Friends look out for each other."

"I don't need your help, I need you to get out of my life!"

"What?!"

"I know it's all inside my head. So I'm gonna ignore you. I'm gonna forget you!" Cloud stalked towards Zack, a feral determination on his cold face, "I'm going to erase every single memory I have of you in it. And I'm not going to look back! Then you'll have no hold over me anymore. I won't let you do this to me anymore."

He stood there, fists clenched and a scowl on his face as he challenged his old friend. Zack was reeling in shock. How could Cloud say this? He couldn't be serious, could he? Carefully contemplating his words, Zack spoke.

"Cloud. I don't know what I've done to offend you and make you so angry. But I do know this. We are friends, Cloud. Friends look out for each other. Don't you remember when we escaped Shinra? You had real serious mako poisoning. I could have just left you there to die, Cloud. But I didn't. I saved you. Because you're my friend. And then I gave my life for you, for me, and for our freedom. I don't know why all this means nothing to you now, but it still means something to me. And if nothing else, it should at least prove that I'm not just gonna give up on you. I don't care how many times you shut me out and ignore me. I'll keep coming back. And there's nothing you can do to stop me."

As he spoke, Zack's expression grew just as cold, stony and unrelenting as Cloud's. He may be a very carefree person, but Zack had been a First Class SOLDIER. He knew how to become someone's worst nightmare.

To Zack's utter surprise, Cloud's face crumpled. His body wilted he suddenly found himself collapsed on the kitchen floor. One hand braced him up from the floor as tremors ran through his body. Soft whimpers emitted his mouth.

Cloud was crying.

Unsure of how to react or what he should do, Zack awkwardly sank down beside Cloud and tentatively patted him on the shoulder. Growing bolder, Zack lay his arm around Cloud, offering him whatever support he could.

"I just don't know what to do!" Cloud's voice was hoarse as he choked the words out. "I can't go on like this any longer. It would just be better for everyone if I died!"

Chills swept through Zack as Cloud spoke. No! His friend couldn't be serious! Zack reminded himself that a long time had passed since he had last seen Cloud. The blond man had changed more than Zack had expected he would.

"No, Cloud. You don't have to die. It would just be worse for everyone if you died. Everyone would feel guilty. They'd think it was their fault that you died. And you don't want that, Cloud. You don't want everyone else living in remorse because of you."

"Then what do I do?!" Cloud shuddered as he tried to control his emotions, "How do I make it end?"

"I don't know, Cloud. I don't know. But we'll figure it out. Just like old times. We'll figure it out."

Cloud slowly shook his head as he began to gather himself back together, hiding his pain and suffering behind the solemn and listless mask he wore constantly.

"I'm sorry, Zack. But until I know what's going on... I'll have to ignore you. I don't want to, but it's the only way I can distinguish between fantasy and reality. Please just try to understand why I'm doing this, alright? I'm so sorry."

Zack said nothing as he crouched beside his old friend, his thoughts whirring as he tried to discover a solution. He could think of none. Sighing, Zack dropped his head and shook it.

"Okay, Cloud. I don't really understand why you're doing this, but I respect you enough to trust you. Do what you have to do. As long as you stay alive, I won't have a complaint. But just remember. If you ever need anything, if you ever need to talk or anything at all, I'm here for you. And that's never gonna change."

Cloud said nothing, sniffing back the last remains of his tears. Forcing himself to be strong, he stood up and walked out of the room with his head held high, leaving Zack feeling empty as his arm flopped to the ground, having nothing to protect anymore. Pain riddled Zack's expression. No matter what Cloud said, Zack would not give up trying to help. He would find someone who could help Cloud. He would do whatever it took to save his friend.

* * *

Cloud lay in his bed with one arm thrown tiredly over his face. His mind was a mess, thoughts whirring constantly as he struggled to decide what he should do. He was so tempted to just run away again, get on his bike and ride until he had forgotten everything. Ride until he had forgotten what it meant to even live. Perhaps then he could escape this torturous, unforgiving world.

A soft breeze tousled his hair for a moment and Cloud wondered briefly if he had forgotten to close his bedroom window.

"Cloud? Please, help me! I need your help!"

He froze where he lay, refusing to allow himself to move his arm and stare upon the innocent face of the beautiful woman who was begging for his attention. Cloud swallowed hard. This was not good. Aerith was back, again. Why? Couldn't she just leave him alone?

When he did not respond, Aerith grew more distressed.

"Cloud! Listen to me! Look at me!" she shrieked, jumping on the bed and throwing his arm off his face. Cloud stared up at her in surprise. A hallucination had never been able to physically move him before!

Her face was full of pain, fear and a lack of understanding. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Ugly bruises were evident on her neck, in the disturbing shape of a hand.

Someone had tried to strangle her?

No! Cloud wrenched his thoughts back. This was a hallucination. Aerith had not been strangled and she was not really in any pain. This was all a lie.

"Cloud." her voice whispered to him, "I need you. Please Cloud, you're the only one who can help me! Please Cloud. Save me."

He stared at her for a moment longer, before squeezing his tired eyes shut and rolling onto his side, away from her. Aerith's breaths came more raggedly as her hand grasped his upper arm, wordlessly begging him to not ignore her, to acknowledge her and help her.

It had always been Zack's dream to be the Hero. Not Cloud's.

He didn't have to save anyone.

"You don't understand, Cloud. He wants to hurt me! I'm scared, I'm so scared Cloud."

Cloud gave no response, refusing to let the hallucination win. His heart pounded furiously within his chest, pain stabbing deeper into his soul with each beat. How could he do this? It was so wrong. It felt like he was ignoring the real Aerith in her time of need.

Aerith snapped. She screamed and lunged forward, grabbing Cloud's head and pulling him up to face her.

"Cloud, don't you get it? You're the only one I can trust now! He's looking for me, he wants to hurt me. Cloud. He's going to kill me!" Aerith's voice broke off as sobs overtook her, her terror overcoming her frustration at Cloud's lack of response.

Unable to fight the hallucination anymore, Cloud licked his lips and spoke to her.

"Who's going to kill you, Aerith?"

She lifted her head once more to stare into Cloud's eyes, her fingers gently caressing the sides of his face. Tears flowed down her swollen face, dripping towards her bruised and marred neck. She gave one last shuddering sob before replying.

"Zack!"

Something crashed in the hallway outside Cloud's room. He turned his head to look at the door and felt Aerith's hands slip from his face at the same time. Dread filled him as he slowly looked back at where the girl had been.

She was gone.

Giving an agonised moan, Cloud slumped back down onto his bed.

This could not go on any longer. Cloud simply could not deal with it any more. It was too hard, too much of a struggle for him. The thought of his sleek bike, waiting in the garage for him was a temptation, almost too strong to resist. Cloud found himself wondering where he had put the keys. He just needed an escape. From his mind. Was such a thing even possible?

The door to his room creaked open before shutting again with a gentle click. Cloud looked up, expecting to see Marlene or Denzel, perhaps even Tifa. Instead, he was met with the sight of his best friend, kitted out in SOLDIER gear and with the heavy Buster Sword slung on his back.

"Hello, Cloud." Zack said in a disturbingly eerie voice. Cloud stiffened. What was going on? Why did Zack look so benevolent?

The SOLDIER stepped further into the room, an air of confidence about him as he approached the vulnerable, defenceless Cloud. Zack smirked, a smirk with more evil intent in it, than mild amusement.

"Aerith was just here, wasn't she?" Cloud said nothing, choosing to remain silent. Zack arched an eyebrow. "Oh. Is that how you're gonna play, huh? Fine. I don't really care. Because I know she was here. I can smell her scent on the air. And on you. She touched your face, didn't she? Those precious, delicate fingers, running over your worthless, undeserving skin!"

Zack strode forward, grabbing the front of Cloud's shirt and dragging him up. Instead of striking him as Cloud expected, Zack inhaled deeply.

"Yes, she touched you. But you did not touch her back. Fortunate for you. If you had, I'd have to cut your hands off."

Zack thrust Cloud back down onto the bed before turning and walking around the small room, seeming to be lost in his own madness.

"Where did she go, Cloud? I know she came to you for help, so you must have some idea of where she went. You probably told her where to go!" Zack looked back at Cloud, a surprisingly sincere expression on his face, "I'm worried about her, Cloud. She's my girlfriend. I want to make sure that she's alright. And as soon as I find her," Something in Zack's countenance changed, "I'm going to ensure that she never leaves my side again! Perhaps she didn't understand the first time when I held her neck as I told her she was mine and would never belong to anyone else! But no, I'll make it clear this time! I'll do whatever I have to!"

Anger surged up inside of Cloud, overriding the logic that told him this was a hallucination, don't respond to it!

"How dare you ever hurt Aerith! How dare you ever lay a finger on her! No, I won't tell you where she is! Because I don't know! But even if I did, I wouldn't tell such a filthy traitor like you!" Cloud raged, his fists clenched as he sat up on the bed.

Oddly calm, Zack stared at Cloud.

"Cloud Strife. Shinra Grunt. Couldn't even make it to be a SOLDIER. Yet for some strange reason, you still think you're that much better than everyone else? You think that you really did save the world? You're wrong! You destroyed this world! You brought it to the brink of death, laughed mercilessly in its face and then pretended to be the hero so that everyone would respect you, think you were great and talk kindly of you! What a lie!"

Zack stood by the end of the bed, an eerie expression on his face as a wicked smile emerged.

"Do you know where we are, Cloud? At this very moment? Do you know where we're standing?" Zack paused for a moment to give his words effect, "We're standing on a mass grave. All those innocent people you killed, you're standing on the piled, broken and mutilated bodies! Because that's how you got to where you are today. How you progressed through life. You killed for it!" Zack grinned as his hand reached up and his fingers played with the hilt of his sword, "What, you don't believe me? Let me prove it to you!"

In one fluid motion, Zack grasped the hilt of his sword, swung it over his head and stabbed the point down into the floor boards. The house shuddered from the force of the stab. Cloud stared down, his eyes wide in terror.

Something was bubbling around the sword, pushing up against the blade in a strong, ever-building pressure. Zack strained to hold the sword down. The pressure fought back. Unable to hold it in anymore, Zack stumbled backwards as the pressure exploded.

Cloud cried out as blood splattered across his face and body. He stared about his room, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened as he watched the blood drip off his roof and down the sides of his walls.

Out from the floor, the blood was becoming a boiling mass. It bubbled, rose and fell, before surging up once more. It spread its deathly substance over every surface it touched, climbing the walls and bed posts to reach up for the rest of the blood that dripped down towards it.

Cloud's breaths came rapidly in terror as he stared at the blood upon his body. It was pulsing in time to his own heartbeat, growing thicker with every passing moment. The blood flowed onto his bed, seeming to be spurting out of Cloud's very body. He shook his head as his hands struggled to push the blood off him. The blood only flowed faster. Terrified, he struggled to staunch the flow. It merely spurted out over his hands, covering him entirely.

"This is what you have done, Cloud Strife! This is the blood of all those innocent people you killed!" Zack roared in delight, trailing his hands through the blood in morbid fascination.

"What innocent people?!" Cloud shouted back. Zack leaped at him, landing on the end of his bed frame and stabbing the Buster Sword into the mattress.

"Avalanche went in to destroy Shinra. The building collapsed, taking hundreds of innocent lives with it. You were a part of that, Cloud! This is all your fault! There is no-one to blame but you!" Zack leant in over the sword to whisper, "You murdered Midgar!"

Cloud shook his head as the terror began to overtake him. He started to thrash helplessly.

"No, no! I didn't! It wasn't my fault! I couldn't have saved them! No-one could have!"

"Is that how you can live with yourself? By feeding yourself such bold lies?" Zack asked, his voice condescending and scorning. "For that, you must be punished! Now you will know what it is like to drown in the deaths of innocent lives!"

The blood in the room rose higher. Cloud screamed, but his voice sounded as though no-one would ever be able to hear it. He struggled but felt all strength fading out of his body. He sobbed for help as hot tears slid down his face, only to mingle with blood. The blood traced its way up his tear stains, invading his eyes. Cloud shrieked and arched his body backwards in a futile attempt to escape this nightmare.

Zack's evil, demented laughter filled the room. It echoed and reverberated off the walls, resounding in Cloud's eardrums. A new sound entered the room, as though emerging from the sea of blood itself. Soft voices. Then stronger, desperate cries. Screams. Yells for help. People were dying, all around him, their bodies crushed and broken, mutilated for evermore.

Cloud thrashed again and screamed in pure agony. He was in living hell.

* * *

Tifa squeezed her eyes shut, allowing the tears to fall unnoticed down her face as she lay in bed. Not far away, she could hear Cloud's screams and shouts.

Another nightmare.

He had them just about every night these days. Tifa regularly found herself lying awake at night, listening to him scream. Yet whenever she went in to his room, she could never wake him, no matter what she did. So she had given up on trying to save him.

Besides, Cloud said he did not need her help.

Sniffing back her tears, Tifa covered her head with a pillow and tried to get some sleep.


	8. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 7

**CHAPTER 7**

Zack walked down the main street of Edge, shoving the car keys in one pocket as he held a sheet of paper in his other hand. A look of grim determination lay across his face. He had said he was going to help Cloud and he intended to fulfil that promise.

Earlier that day, Zack had flipped through a phone book, searching for mental health clinics or doctors who were offering mental aid. Something inside of Cloud's head was messed up. He seriously needed help. He needed the support of those around him so he could successfully make it through this terribly trying chapter of his life.

Cloud was trying to go it alone. He didn't want anyone else involved, didn't want to burden them. Zack snorted at this thought. Yep, he was the same old Cloud.

Zack had borrowed Tifa's van to drive into the centre of town and visit the two clinics that were in Edge. As one could imagine, in the wake of the fall of Shinra and the rise of geostigma, many people required mental aid.

There were very few people who were brave enough to step up and offer it.

Following the directions he had scribbled on the paper for himself, Zack found the first clinic and entered the worn-looking building. A well-dressed receptionist sat behind a messy desk, her presence alone contrasting the world around them.

She smiled up at Zack as he approached the desk.

"Good morning sir, welcome to Sirone's Mind Repairing Company. How may I help you?" she asked politely.

"Hey. Um, I wanted to speak to the doc around. I'm really concerned about my best friend but he won't let anyone help him and I don't know what to do."

"Of course. Just a moment." The receptionist paged the doctor, who soon emerged from his examination room and came out. After a brief greeting between Dr Sirone and Zack, the doctor ushered Zack into the examination room so they could talk privately.

"Now then," Dr Sirone said as he closed the door and took a seat, "What can I do for you?" Zack sighed, organising his thoughts as he shrugged.

"It's my best friend, Cloud. He-"

"Cloud Strife? A member of Avalanche, who helped to bring down Shinra and save our world? Please, continue! What assistance can I offer to our hero?"

Zack stayed silent for a moment as he stared at the doctor. His mind whirled rapidly and within a split second he had made his decision.

"He's working today, so he couldn't come in. But he asked me to get some brochures about mental health and stuff for him. Apparently he's mentoring some other guy through a really tough patch. He wouldn't tell me who the guy was, which is fair enough. I mean, he wants to protect the guy's privacy." Zack lied easily. He did not like this doctor any more. Zack had forgotten about Cloud's hero status in society. He couldn't give Cloud's name out; it would make the very private matter suddenly very public.

"Certainly, certainly." Dr Sirone said as he turned and reached for a stack of papers. Rifling through the papers for a moment, he pulled out several brochures. "Here you go. These three don't advertise my clinic, but this one does. These three have national hotlines that you can call to receive anonymous help. Although, I will say, anonymous help does not always work. Still, the brochures provide important information, like the symptoms of depression and such. They are designed to relate to the sufferer and help them to feel that they are not alone."

Zack accepted the brochures and stared down at them.

"Thanks, doc. I'll pass them on."

"Right then. Is that all I can help you with today?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Well, I hope that everything works out in the end. If you ever need anything again, here's my card."

"Thanks doc." Trying not to appear rushed, Zack left the clinic and got out of sight of the building. He leant against a wall and groaned in frustration. "Man, that was bad!"

Forcing himself not to give up and to keep trying, Zack looked at the piece of paper before setting out in the direction of the next place.

* * *

Cloud wiped the sweat off his brow as he walked back towards his motorbike. He was working today, taking the chance to block the nightmare of his life out of his mind and focus on making some gil.

The jobs had piled up lately, what with Cloud's regular trips out to see his psychiatrist and trying to be around more for the kids. Still, Cloud didn't mind the work. He pushed himself extra hard in order to get everything picked up and delivered as soon as possible. He had a reputation to keep up, after all.

The day waned on as Cloud continued to make deliveries. Some people paid him in cash, some paid directly into his bank account. Cloud began to feel better about himself as he worked. This familiar, safe routine, it was almost like therapy.

The burning red sun was sitting on a golden horizon as Cloud rode back home. He parked his bike in the garage, beside Tifa's van, then headed inside. The bar was open and business was good. Cloud dodged customers as he made his way towards the stairs. Tifa watched him from behind the bar, Zack beside her as he helped to serve drinks. The kids were nowhere to be seen. Tifa had given them the night off and sent them to bed early.

Cloud gave a weary sigh as he pushed the door shut behind him and tossed his keys onto the bed. Instead of the usual jingle of metal on metal, there was a rustle of papers added to the mix. Surprised, Cloud looked over at his bed.

Folded brochures, slightly scattered and fanned out on the bed, lay there for him to see. His eyebrows pinching together as he frowned, Cloud stepped closer and picked one up.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled. A drop of nervous sweat dripped down his toned chest. His fingers began to tremble as his breaths drew short and rapid.

 **'Edge Mental Health Clinic** '

As his heart rate accelerated, Cloud snatched the other brochures up, his panicked eyes raking over them. Mental health clinics. Mental health services. All of them, seeming to relate directly to his problem.

Cloud couldn't think straight. Who had done this? Who had realised that he was losing his mind, or had already lost it? He had tried so hard to conceal the issue. This wasn't right! Panic transformed into anger. The brochures crumpled as his hands curled into rigid fists.

 _"Oh dear, Cloud! What are you going to do about this, huh? Seems like you just fail at everything, doesn't it?"_ Sephiroth's voice echoed in his head, heartless and jeering. Cloud gritted his teeth. He would not back down this time.

Flinging the brochures back onto the bed, Cloud stormed out of the room and down the stairs. The bar was loud and busy, no-one noticing the enraged man as he entered the scene.

This was not good. There were too many people here. Cloud couldn't get the issue sorted with this many people around. He had to get rid of them. The grating sound of the jukebox starting up again assaulted his ears.

Cloud acted immediately.

Snatching up a heavy bottle of whiskey, he jumped onto the nearest table and threw it. Perfect aim. The glass shattered on impact and the man at the jukebox cried out as shards stabbed into his hand. Damaged, the machine fell silent, along with the whole bar. Every eye turned to face the fuming madman.

"Oh crap." Zack muttered to Tifa, "I think he found them."

"Bar's closed! Everyone out, now! No complaints. Get out of here, now!" Cloud snarled.

The room just stared at him, trying to comprehend the situation. They started to shift uncertainly and murmur amongst themselves. One man spoke up.

"Why should we? We're all having a good time! You're just trying to ruin it for us. So piss off!" Voices of agreement rose up.

"Are you refusing to leave, then? Come up here and say it!"

"Alright then!" The man was big, easily the size of Barrett. His muscles were tense as he readied for the impending fight.

"Hey, guys! No fighting inside." Tifa said warningly.

"Tell that to your boyfriend here." the man sneered as he glared down at Cloud, who had stepped off the table to face his opponent.

"Cloud, seriously. Calm down. We can talk about this. After the bar closes. We-"

"The bar's closed now, Tifa! Haven't I made myself clear yet?"

"Obviously not!" The man swung his huge fist. Cloud ducked and attacked back. The bar patrons began to roar in excitement, egging the fight on. As the burly man went down, another stepped up to take Cloud on. Welcoming the challenge, the blond launched into the fight.

"Cloud! That's enough! Stop it!" Tifa shrieked but he ignored her.

Zack leaped over the bar and ran straight into the fight, grabbing Cloud in a headlock and trying to drag him backwards.

"C'mon Cloud, cut it out!"

Without hesitation, Cloud spun around and let his fist fly. A wicked left hook collected Zack in the jaw. He grunted as his head snapped to the side and he stumbled, releasing his grip on Cloud. Cloud continued his assault, delivering blow after blow.

Zack refused to fight back, choosing instead to just defend his head. Pain ripped through his body with every punch that Cloud landed. Zack suddenly found himself on his back, the wind knocked out of him as Cloud tried to punch through his defensive arms.

"Cloud! Stop it!" Tifa yelled, running to grab him. One of the patrons grabbed her, holding her back. The bar fell quiet as they all simply watched the scene before them.

Blow after blow slammed into Zack. Ribs groaned and threatened to crunch. Zack tightened his gut muscles, hoping to support and protect his rib cage. He couldn't fight back. This was Cloud! Cloud was his best friend. Zack couldn't hurt him.

Or could he?

Grunts rippled with every punch that landed. Cloud's face was the epitome of rage and hatred. Sweat rolled down his skin and dripped off his nose. Anger fuelled his strength. The strikes that he unleashed grew harsher and harsher, driven by a stronger force.

With absolutely no warning, Zack punched back.

The blow landed square in Cloud's gut, compressing his diapragm and forcing all the air out. He gasped for air and faltered.

That was all Zack needed. He leaped to his feet and readied himself, even as Cloud took a deep breath and swung again. They blocked and jabbed before driving blows home.

The two men fought.

Zack was sick of this fight. It was pointless! What was Cloud thinking? Zack had to end it, now. Before it became too much of a problem. He struck out at Cloud's head.

The blows were sharp and direct, very rapid. Cloud tried to block but couldn't. Zack's mako-enhanced reflexes had given him the greater edge. Zack gave one last strike, grunting as he swung. His fist connected, just below Cloud's ear.

Pain flared through Cloud's head and a buzzing sound burst into his ears. His vision began to blur as black dots swam before him. He stumbled sideways as he tried to keep his footing, but crashed to one knee. He swayed drunkenly before dropping to hands and knees and vomiting.

Zack's chest heaved from the exertion as he looked at the crowd, staring at him.

"Alright, that's enough! Bar's closed. Go home."

Not arguing this time, the people rapidly dispersed. Tifa rushed to Cloud's side. The door to the establishment clicked shut and Zack turned to look down at his friends.

"What did you do to him?" Tifa asked in concern.

"He'll be fine. Just give him a couple of minutes." Zack said before wincing. Cloud punched hard. He was going to have very colourful bruises, all over his body. A stinging pain resonated through his fists. Zack looked down to see that the bare skin on the back of his knuckles had been completely torn off. Blood covered the backs of his hands and he flexed his fingers, watching the tendons and bones shift beneath the blood.

Noticing his injuries, Tifa stood and grabbed the first aid kit. She helped Zack to clean the grazes before bandaging them.

Cloud's senses slowly returned to him. Feeling humiliated and further enraged, he stood and swung around to fight again. Another wave of nausea crashed over him and he halted his onslaught, deciding a less physical tactic was needed.

"Who did it? Tell me! Who did it?!" he shouted as the nausea faded away.

"Did what, Cloud?" Tifa asked as she packed the first aid kit away.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Mental health brochures? Who put them on my bed? And why would you? What the hell are you hoping to gain from this? I'm not sick! And I don't know where you got that impression! So just butt out and go ruin someone else's life!"

Tifa glanced over at Zack, who was staring straight back at Cloud. The two men continued to stare each other down for some time. Cloud had directed his entire rampage at Zack, knowing without needing to be told that it was Zack who had gotten the brochures. Tifa would never dare to be so bold. She would just give up on him.

"You need help, Cloud. You know that as well as any of us do. I don't fully understand why you're denying that, but you need to accept it! We're all concerned about you! So stop telling yourself that you have to go through this alone. That's not true. We're here for you and we want to help you. Stop shutting us out!" Zack said, pushing off the bar and asserting himself.

Cloud clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

"You have no right to tell me what to do! Or to even think of suggesting that _I_ have a _mental health issue!_ What happened to your brains? Do I look like I'm insane? You're more insane than I am!"

"Cloud, please." Tifa's voice was soft, begging, "We're just trying to help you."

"I don't need your help! I'm sick of this place! I'm sick of you people pretending that you understand me! You don't know me! You don't understand the slightest thing about me!"

"Cloud-" Zack began warningly.

"Shut up! I'm not gonna take this anymore! I'm outta here!"

He spun around and headed for the door. A sob-choked voice halted him in his tracks.

"Cloud! Don't go!"

The blond man slowly turned around. Marlene and Denzel stood on the bottom of the staircase, tears saturating the young girl's face. Denzel was stone-faced as his arm rested around Marlene's shoulders. His glare seemed to blame Cloud for making Marlene cry.

"Marlene! Denzel! How long have you two been there?" Tifa gasped.

"Since the fight." Denzel replied simply, not taking his mistrusting eyes off Cloud.

"Cloud, don't leave us! Please. You said you were going to try and be around for us more often." Marlene said as her voice strained through her emotions.

"Maybe I can't do that anymore." Cloud said coldly.

"Please Cloud! We love you! Tell him, Denzel." the young girl turned to the boy beside her, her eyes beseeching. Denzel trembled as he spoke.

"Go ahead and leave! You don't care! It's not like it matters! We've got Zack now! Anyway, you're just a filthy monster! You ruined everything! You're exactly the same as Sephiroth!" Spinning around, Denzel charged up the stairs, ignoring the cries from Tifa and Marlene to come back. His door slammed with finality.

"I guess that settles it, then." Cloud said. He left the house. He did not even bother with his bike. He'd be back for it later. Right now, he just had to get away.

Marlene burst into more tears and ran straight into Tifa's outstretched arms. The little girl was unconsolable as she clung to Tifa and cried relentlessly. Zack sighed and leaned against the bar again.

"Should'a seen that coming." he muttered to himself.

"Why, Tifa? Why did Cloud leave? Doesn't he love us anymore?" Marlene asked as pain and confusion consumed her.

"Oh, Marlene no! No. Cloud still loves us. But he's sick. He needs help. But he won't accept that he needs help."

"Why not? Why would he leave?" the young child wailed helplessly. Tifa was silent for a moment, considering her words before replying.

"Sometimes it's easier to fight with the one's you love, than it is to admit that you're sick." Marlene buried her face in Tifa's shoulder and continued to cry. She just did not understand. Tifa held the girl tightly and rocked her.

"Don't worry. We'll get him the help he needs. I think I know what's happening to Cloud." Zack pulled his phone out and flipped it open before rapidly dialling a number. He held it to his ear and waited for it to be answered. "Reno. It's Zack. I need a favour."


	9. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 8

**CHAPTER 8**

The wind blew strongly outside, identified only by the random particles of dust that clung grimly to the dingy glass window. Edge seemed to be growing hotter and muggier these days. Not that the weather was ever comfortable in these parts but now it was worse than normal.

Denzel stared listlessly at the grimy window. Even though his expression was hollow, there was a haunted shadow lingering in the dark depths of his young eyes. He was hiding something from all those around him. Something that he did not want anyone to know because it was too horrible to acknowledge, even to himself. Yet he had no choice.

Marlene stared up at Denzel from the floor, her eyebrows pinched together in a worried frown. She did not understand a lot of things that were happening lately, but she understood that Denzel was silently suffering.

In an effort to alleviate his pain, Marlene did the only thing she could think of.

"Play with me, Denzel. I'm bored." she said lightly, her eyes watching closely for his reaction. Denzel made no move to turn away from the window. Marlene glanced out the window, wondering if something outside held his attention. Nothing. Just the same crumbling view of Edge, the city drastically in need of repairs.

Most of the world was in a similar state.

"Please Denzel!" Marlene tried the whiny voice tactic, "There's nothing else to do! Please play with me?"

"No." Denzel finally spoke. Marlene scooted closer to him, seeing his verbalisation as a breakthrough.

"Why not?"

"I don't wanna play, Marlene."

"Then what do you wanna do?"

The young girl waited eagerly for his answer, but it never came. Her young shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Just ... leave me alone Marlene."

The tone that Denzel spoke with was one that Marlene had never heard before. Her concern increased ten-fold. What was wrong with her best friend? How could she help him? Did he miss Cloud? Yes, that was probably it. Even though Denzel had yelled at Cloud to leave, he must regret it now and wish that Cloud was still here. Marlene stood and leant on the chair that Denzel sat on, gently sliding an arm around his shoulders.

"It'll be okay, Denzel. Cloud will come back. You'll see."

The reaction was immediate, violent and unexpected.

Denzel leaped to his feet, shoving Marlene away roughly and glaring at her with clenched fists. Fear lay thickly in his eyes, only thinly masked by anger.

"I never want to see his face again! I don't want him to come back! If he comes back I'll ... I'll ..." The young boy lifted his head and squared his jaw, "I'll kill him!"

Hot tears splashed down Marlene's face at his words. How could Denzel say such a thing? Cloud was their friend! He was like a father to Denzel! How could Denzel want him dead? She didn't understand. Life was so full of confusions for the young children. Marlene wanted no further part in it.

Her tears only seemed to make Denzel even more angry.

"Don't cry for him Marlene! He's not what you think he is! He's a liar! He lied to us about everything he ever told us! I hate him!"

"Denzel-"

"Just leave me alone! Get away from me!"

Sobbing, Marlene fled the room in search of solace. His fists slackened and his expression returned to the empty one of before. Denzel sank back down onto the chair and stared out the window. It was as though he had not moved at all.

Except for one thing. His arms were wrapped around himself, as though trying to hold his tormented body together.

Tifa looked up in surprise as Marlene hurtled into the room, her tears and sobs making her words indiscernable. Zack too turned away from his work to help calm the young girl. At length, they were able to calm Marlene enough to extract the unfortunate story from her.

Zack frowned and glanced up at the stairs. Tifa crooned to Marlene and rocked her, not knowing what to say to her.

"I'll deal with this, Tifa. You look after Marlene." Zack said and headed for the stairs.

"Okay. Zack? Be gentle with him. He's been through a lot. Cloud was like a father to him and now... I just don't understand why Denzel would reject him."

"I get it. I'll be sensitive."

The young man soon found the room that Denzel was seated in. Zack entered and slowly came to stand by the chair. He said nothing for some time, just letting Denzel acknowledge his presence and grow comfortable with him there. Zack stared out the window then glanced down at Denzel. He realised Denzel was not staring out the window, nor at the glass. He was just staring. Staring at nothing.

"Denzel. Marlene tells us you two got into a fight. You wanna tell me what's going on?" Zack spoke softly, hoping this ambiguous and gentle approach would help convince Denzel to trust him.

The boy said nothing.

"Hey. Could you look at me for a moment please, Denzel?" Zack voice was still gentle, but with a firmer tone to it. Denzel turned his head to stare at Zack. They eyed each other off for a long moment, before Denzel broke the gaze and turned back to his stare at nothing.

That short glance had told Zack all he needed to know. For now, at least.

Zack grabbed another chair at set it beside Denzel's before sitting on it. He gave a soft sigh but said nothing, wondering what to say and where on earth to begin. Denzel was terrified. He needed some reassurance, some proof that the adults were affected by all this, too. Proof that they would be okay. Proof that they would make it out the other side alive.

"Denzel, I know what you're going through." Zack's voice finally broke the long silence. This was a sensitive story that he was about to share, but he knew that Denzel needed to here it. "I went through the same kinda thing once. You know I was a First Class SOLDIER, right? Well, before I was First Class, I had a teacher. A mentor. He was like, my big brother, strong father and my best friend all rolled into one. I loved him and trusted him with my life.

"We went on missions together. He taught me everything I know. About honour, life, love, respect ... and freedom. Everything was great. I was learning a lot and was headed for promotion with my mentor there to guide the way for me.

"But something happened to him. To this day, I still don't fully understand it. But he changed. He thought he was a monster. Said he had no reason left to live. I tried to help him. But he wouldn't let me. He attacked me. In the end I had to fight him... it was so hard. I killed him."

Zack's voice was close to cracking with emotion. He hated this subject as his old wounds had never fully healed. Beside him, Denzel shifted.

"So, I know what you're going through, Denzel. I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you love. Someone very close to you. I know what it's like to have your whole world ripped out from underneath you... and there's nothing you can do about it. I guess that's all I wanted to say. Just that I understand. And if you ever need anything. Anything at all. I'm here. I'll always listen. And I'll do whatever I can to help."

Silence fell over the small room and Zack looked down at Denzel, hoping to see some form of reaction from the young boy. Nothing. Zack hung his head. At least he had tried. He should leave Denzel with his thoughts.

As his muscles tensed to lift himself off the chair, something small thumped into his side. Zack looked down in surprise.

Denzel had dropped his head against Zack's body, allowing himself some comfort from one who understood. His eyes remained fixed on that unfocused spot and he did not reach out for Zack with his arms. Yet he had made the first move. He was accepting Zack's offer.

Zack gently wrapped his arms around the young boy, holding him close as his strong arms constricted, as though to form a protective barrier around the small frame. A small tremor rippled through Denzel's body and Zack held him tighter. Denzel's head drooped slightly.

Something dripped onto Zack's arm. Bending over slightly, he realised Denzel was crying silently. Zack gave a soft murmur and pulled the child onto his lap, tenderly encasing him in love and protection. Denzel's shoulders shook and a small sob forced its way past his lips. He seemed horrified by this, but could do nothing to stop the chain of reaction that it started.

Denzel wailed, unable to hold all the pain back any longer. Zack spoke to him softly, but the words were indiscernable as the boy cried. He buried his head in Zack's chest, seeking warmth and comfort.

"It's okay. I'm here, I'm here."

Zack remained there with Denzel as he cried, allowing the boy to release his pent-up emotions at long last.

* * *

Cloud stared up at the house, his eyes narrowed slightly and his mouth drawn into a thin, tight line. He was torn, unsure of what decision to make. Did he dare go knock on that door and walk over that threshold? Was he willing to subject himself to a seemingly calm and gentle interrogation over his recent behaviour? Did he really want to explain everything that had happened? The bar fight? Denzel yelling at him?

No. Cloud wanted nothing more to do with the doctor who so intensely tried to care for him. Their sessions had amounted to nothing more than less money in Cloud's pocket and more questions than he had answers for than when he first came here.

The doctor could do nothing more to help him.

Cloud looked down at the phone clutched in his right hand, his thin fingers curled around it in a strangle-hold, as though the inanimate piece of technology was a life force that had to be controlled. The only life force that Cloud could currently control.

The troubled young man had walked the whole way, on foot, after checking his messages to find that the doctor had attempted to contact him.

"Cloud, it's me. Just wondering why you didn't make the delivery we had scheduled. Hope everything's okay and that you're not under too much pressure. Please get in contact with me soon. I really would like for you to make the delivery."

A simple, veiled message deliberately fabricated in such a way that if Tifa or someone were to come across the message, they would think it was nothing more than a business contact. The shrink had co-operated with Cloud when he requested that the doctor make every effort to ensure that Tifa would not find out.

Seemed there was no real point for that anymore. Tifa knew Cloud's world was falling down around him. He had failed.

Cloud turned to walk away, but hesitated. A part of him was screaming in protest, begging for Cloud to run up to the door, bang it down and beg for help from the one man who had said he could be Cloud's saviour.

But another part of him was sneering, telling him he was better off without that weird shrink anyway. He had survived just fine before that doctor. He would continue to do so without him. That is, if Cloud even chose to stay alive.

He still could not decide: life or death.

Cloud took a hesitant step towards the front door, then stopped, stumbling back a few paces. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself forward again. But once more, he stopped himself and tried to run away.

Frustrated, Cloud swore profusely and struck out at the letterbox next to him.

He crushed it, kicking it off its post and trampling it into the ground. The metal groaned and bent beneath the force of his kicks. Sweat formed on his forehead as he attacked the letterbox. It seemed to be the only thing he could win a fight against these days.

Gasping for breath, Cloud stepped back, more emotionally exhausted than physically. He looked up at the doctor's house one last time.

"Sorry, doc." he muttered, "But I just can't do this anymore. Thanks for nothing."

Turning, the ex-SOLDIER strode away, his strong steps confident and his expression unflinching. None would stop him. Nothing could deter him.

He had made up his mind.

* * *

Tifa was in the kitchen, washing up glasses and crockery while watching the scene before her with a softly amused smile on her face. Zack was preparing the bar for the coming night, setting up tables and chairs. Denzel trailed behind Zack, a solemn expression on his young face as he simply followed and watched.

He had become the SOLDIER's shadow, tailing him without complaint, or word for that matter. Zack had grown rather fond of the soft steps of Denzel walking behind him. He felt as though he meant something to the boy. He was important. Zack always felt a twinge of pain when he reminded himself that he was taking over from Cloud's position in Denzel's life, but there was nothing he could do about it. The boy had chosen him, not the other way around.

Marlene sat by the stairs, her chin in one hand as she drew on some paper with the other. She glanced at Denzel and Zack jealously, wishing that Denzel would pay more attention to her. He was still refusing to play, even with his new-found idol. All he wanted to do was follow and watch.

A solid knock sounded on the door, causing all members of the household to look up. Zack was the first to move, adjusting a chair before heading to answer the door. He opened it to behold a welcoming sight.

"Yo! Said you needed a favour?"

Reno stood on the doorstep, his electro-mag rod slung casually over his right shoulder and looking to Zack as though he had posed deliberately in anticipation of the reaction he would gain from whoever opened the door. As usual, his suit shirt was untucked and crumpled, having only recently been picked up off the floor and sniffed suspiciously to ensure it was at least semi-clean. His red hair was somewhat messier than usual, as if to show that he had not cared very much for his appearance when coming here.

All in all, he was the same as he had always been.

"Yeah. Thanks for coming." Zack said and took a step back to let Reno in while almost bumping Denzel in the process. Reno entered with a lazy saunter, allowing his gaze to drift around the bar. The drift ended at Tifa.

"Looking as gorgeous as usual, I see Tifa, yo." Reno said and approached her with a lopsided grin. Tifa gave him a bored expression. She was used to Reno and his not-so-subtle flirting, but was in no mood to deal with it today.

"Cut it out, Reno. You're here for business."

"Am I?"

"Yes. You are. Zack?"

"Right. I got this." Zack said and walked over, opening his mouth to start explaining the situation.

"Say, where's Cloud at, yo?" Reno asked. An awkward silence fell over the room. Marlene stopped drawing. Denzel clenched his fists. Zack sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"That's why I asked you here, Reno. Lemme explain."

Half an hour later, the three adults were seated and Reno had been filled in on everything that had taken place. Marlene had gotten bored and disappeared upstairs, while Denzel had taken to staring at a crack in the floorboards as he sat cross-legged on the floor.

Reno let out a low whistle and shook his head.

"Man. That's some crazy stuff, yo!"

"Which is exactly why I came to you." Zack replied.

"I ain't crazy, yo!" Reno protested. Zack rolled his eyes.

"No, Reno. I didn't mean that. I think that Cloud has been affected by something that happened to him at Shinra. I think it has something to do with Sephiroth."

"That dude's dead, yo." Reno raised an eyebrow, as if challenging Zack to state otherwise.

"Being dead doesn't mean that you immediately cease to have an effect on people! Look, I'm not sure. This stuff is all outta my league. But maybe it's some psychological after-effects of when Cloud killed Sephiroth or something. Maybe it's related to the mako poisoning he received. You know, back when I died."

"That was years ago, yo! How could that still have an effect on him?"

"I don't know! But I know it's all Shinra's fault that this is happening to him! Which is why I want Shinra to fix it!" Zack spoke firmly, glaring at Reno.

Realisation dawned over the red-headed Turk's face. His mouth opened in an 'o' shape and he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. Slowly his expression changed to a smirk.

"I get it. Just 'cause he brought you back from the dead or whatever it was, you think he can save Cloud from completely losing his mind! I dunno if it'll work, yo. He don't exactly like Cloud. Or Avalanche for that matter. And Cloud was a part of Avalanche. He'll remember that, yo." Reno said non-committantly.

"What? Who brought Zack back from the dead? Who are you talking about?" Tifa asked in confusion.

"I don't care if he remembers that. Good for him! At least he was around to witness it. I had to hear about it second hand!" Zack growled almost threateningly, "But if he can help Cloud, then he's going to!"

"Okay, okay." Reno held his hands up appeasingly and leant forward again. "Suppose I can convince him to help. Or at least try to help. Where's Cloud? How are you gonna get the psycho to him, yo?"

"Don't you worry about that. Just leave that part up to me. I'll figure something out." Zack said firmly. Reno gave a short, dry laugh and stood up as he prepared to leave.

"I hope you do, yo. Strife might not have been SOLDIER material, but he is damn hard to pin down and even harder to kill. Just remember that, yo."

"I'm not interested in killing him."

"Then good luck in pinning him down." Reno walked to the door, "I'll talk to our man, see what I can do. I'll be in touch, yo."

"Thanks Reno. I appreciate it, I really do."

Reno chuckled again, a twinkle gleaming out of his eye.

"Boy. You're never gonna get to have a normal life, are you, yo?"

Zack shrugged.

"Here's to hoping."

The door clicked shut behind Reno and Zack turned back around in his seat, only to be met with a frustrated Tifa.

"Who were you two talking about, Zack? Who do you want to help Cloud? Who is this guy?" she demanded and from her face, Zack knew there was no worming out of it. Besides, she deserved to know.

"Alright. I'll tell you. But you're not going to like it." Zack said before continuing in a soft voice, conscious of Denzel at his feet and not sure of how much the boy knew. He spoke the man's name and Tifa's reaction was instantaneous. She leaped to her feet in horror, moving so fast that her chair clattered noisily as it was flung away and fell on its side. She stared at Zack.

"What? No! It can't be _him_!" Her expression was horrified, repulsed.

"I told you you wouldn't like it." Zack said with a shake of his head.

"But, he's a monster! How could you ever think of asking for his help?!" Tifa was shaking in her anger. She hated this man with a passion.

"Tifa, please calm down! Look, I don't exactly like the guy either. But he saved my life and I'm grateful. If there's any chance that he could help Cloud ... We can't pass up the opportunity to find out. It could be the only chance Cloud has left."

With a resigned sigh, Tifa sat in the chair Reno had occupied only minutes ago. She dropped her head into her hands and wondered if they weren't making a very foolish decision.

There was no way around it. Zack was right. This was the only option left to them. They had to try and save Cloud, no matter what. If this worked ... She shuddered at the thought of owing that man anything. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

The two adults sat there silent, neither voicing their concerns anymore. They both knew the other was thinking exactly the same thing. All they could do now was hope that it all turned out alright in the end.


	10. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Cloud was tired as he trudged through the streets of Edge. No, not tired. Exhausted. Beaten. Destroyed. He did not know how long it had been since he had stormed out of the bar, but he knew that he had not eaten or drunk anything since then. His stomach rumbled painfully, begging for nourishment as another bead of sweat rolled down his face, dehydrating him further.

Somehow, for some reason, his feet had brought him back to this place. Cloud lifted his head and stared about himself in a listless state. He knew where he was. He was headed back towards Seventh Heaven.

A figure standing behind a truck attracted Cloud's attention and he frowned, taking a closer look. He gasped and stumbled backwards. Zack.

The SOLDIER was sneering, his face twisted in evil malice as he watched Cloud's reaction. His body was battered and muddied, but still strong. Blood spatters decorated his uniform. Cloud could see streaks of the crimson liquid over the hilt of the sword that was slung casually on Zack's back. Even his hair seemed to bear the tokens of his crime.

Zack lifted a hand to Cloud and the blond man gave a strangled cry. The hand was entirely red, crusted in dried blood. Zack sneered again and outstretched his hand.

_You like it, don't you? It's beautiful. So wretched, precious, and forbidden. You could have it. Just come over here. Take a step closer. Make the decision! Throw this sorry existence away._

The voice resonated deep in Cloud's head, sounding like a mixture of Zack's lighthearted tenor and Sephiroth's domineering baritone. Cloud gasped for air as his heart pounded wildly, causing him to hyperventilate slightly.

A car drove between Cloud and Zack, severing their eye contact for a moment. The car passed by, revealing nothing. Zack was gone. There was no SOLDIER standing behind that truck anymore.

Cloud spun around, his paranoid eyes searching desperately for any sign of his old friend. Where had he gone? Was he waiting to ambush Cloud? He could be right behind him! Cloud could see nothing, no hint of where Zack had gone. Passer-byers stared at him slightly curiously, but with repulse quite evident in their body language. He looked crazed, as though he had been hassled and plagued by some unseen terror for some time. If only they knew they were right.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath and steady his nerves, Cloud exhaled through his teeth. Zack was gone. It had just been another hallucination. It was over now. There was nothing to worry about.

Feeling exhausted, Cloud groaned and dropped his head into his hands, gently massaging his temple. He needed to rest. This had gone on too long.

No, he didn't need rest.

Cloud Strife needed help.

A maniacal cackle rippled through his body as he pulled his head out of his hands. He spread his arms and laughed even louder. Help? No-one could help him! This was a never-ending spiral! There was no way to stop it and no way to go back. So why was he fighting it? He should just accept the inevitable and enjoy the ride.

Perhaps that what he would do.

Cloud relaxed his posture as the laughter died away. Cool, calculating eyes scanned the area. Despite his mental decline, he still recognised the need for money and finances in order to live.

He would have to go back to Tifa.

A slight flash of irritation passed over his face, but Cloud knew there was no way around it. Seventh Heaven was the basis for Strife Delivery Service. He probably had several jobs waiting for him already, customers growing frustrated as they wondered why this normally reliable service was imposing on their convenience.

What if that seemingly-friendly Zack hallucination was still there, just waiting for him to return?

Fear struck through Cloud at this thought, but he pushed it aside. He had no choice. He had to go back.

Deciding the best course of action would be to enter the bar late at night, after it had closed, Cloud started walking once more. He would find a spot near the bar and wait until the time was right. Then he would go back inside. He would resume his 'old life', for as long as he could bear.

* * *

Denzel stood in front of the mirror, his gaze fixed on one spot in undeniable horror. Blood roared in his ears and his hands started to tremble. He was disgusted, terrified. Horrified.

It was rare for Zack and Denzel to be separated, but there were still times when they were apart. Denzel understood without needing to be told that Zack needed to be left alone sometimes. During those few hours, Denzel would wash or simply sit in that room, staring listlessly at nothing.

Zack was currently having a shower, washing away the lingering remains of the night before. He had been called upon to break up a rather severe bar fight, which resulted in him being soaked in alcohol and sustaining many fist wounds. Zack had been too tired to wash after helping Tifa to clean up the trashed place. He had simply staggered to his room and fallen asleep as he was.

Denzel had woken up as soon as the shower went on and he crept out of his room, quickly ascertaining that it was Zack who occupied the bathroom. He returned to his own room and slowly dressed for the day. He had just finished dressing when he noticed the one thing that served to unsettle him so utterly.

On a black rope, hanging softly around his neck was a silver ring, beaten and melded into the shape of a wolf's head.

Cloud had given it to Denzel.

How had he not noticed until now? How could such an important detail like this slip from his memory? As his breath wheezed from fear, Denzel lifted his hands and struggled with the necklace, desperately trying to pull it off.

It refused to come.

His actions were too hurried, too desperate and not calm enough. Denzel was not thinking, just yanking and pulling. He started to sob in anxiety. Get it off! He just wanted it off and away from him! He never wanted to see it again! It would taint him!

Zack paused in the bathroom, having finished his shower. He thought he could hear something, whimpers and struggles. Moving fast, he wrapped the towel around his waist and rushed out of the bathroom, following the noises to Denzel's room.

He found the boy on the floor, tousling with the necklace. Denzel was hyperventilating in between sobs and he thrashed, his whole body screaming for the offending item to be removed.

"Woah, Denzel! Calm down! What's wrong?" Zack asked as he hurried to the boy's side, not understanding the situation.

"Get it off! Just get it off me! Get it off!" Denzel shrieked as he struggled. Zack reached in and grasped the necklace, pulling it up and off from around the boy's neck. Denzel landed flat on his back before gasping and scrambling away from Zack, his eyes locked on the necklace.

"It's okay Denzel. I got it off." Zack said softly. He looked from the boy to the simple piece of jewelry, "What's wrong, Denzel? Why did this upset you?"

The boy tore his eyes away to look at Zack's face.

"He gave it to me!" he shrieked, his voice unsteady as his lungs worked in overdrive.

Understanding dawned on Zack and he looked back down at the necklace then over at Denzel again. Compassion swept over Zack's face.

"Oh Denzel. It's alright now. I'll take this away, okay? You don't ever have to see it again if you don't want to."

"No! I don't want to see it again!"

"Okay, okay. I'll get rid of it. Alright? Here. I'll just put it there for now. See? It can't hurt you while it's over there. Everything's alright now. You're safe. You're safe, Denzel. C'mere." Zack outstretched his arms and sniffing, Denzel crawled over before curling up against Zack's chest. He gave no complaint as he realised Zack's body was still damp from the shower. Instead he buried his face deeper against the man's shoulder as the sobs became more prominent, controlling his body.

"Shh, shh. It's okay. I'm here." Zack said, wrapping his arms around the frail boy and rocking him.

Something thick and sticky smeared across Zack's skin and he looked down to see geostigma weeping onto him. A stab of sympathy shot through him. This boy had suffered so much. He had watched as his world was destroyed, then he had been inflicted with the stigma. Now, the man he had regarded as his hero had betrayed him, leaving him broken.

Denzel had no strength left for himself.

"Zack? Are you done in the bathroom? You left clothes in – whoa!" Tifa halted and took a step back, averting her eyes as the first thing she saw was Zack's half-naked body. She suspiciously glanced back and then realised the situation.

"Here, Tifa. You take him. His stigma's playing up again." Zack said, lifting the boy towards Tifa who nodded and took Denzel by the hand.

"Wait! Don't leave me alone, Zack!" Denzel cried, trying to reach back for his new hero.

"It's okay Denzel. Go with Tifa. Besides, I have to take care of that thing for you, remember? And then I have to get dressed! It's kinda cold like this."

Denzel nodded then winced in pain. His geostigma was suddenly causing him a lot of pain.

"Okay." he mumbled and turned to walk off with Tifa. "I ... feel kinda funny ..."

The boy unexpectedly collapsed, his body going limp as Tifa cried out in fright. Zack leaped up, reaching for him.

"What happened?" Zack asked. Tifa had rolled Denzel over and was cradling him in her arms as she knelt on the ground.

"His geostigma. Whenever he gets very upset or depressed, it gets worse. We have to get him to bed!"

Moving quickly, the two adults carried the unconscious boy to his bed and bundled him under the covers. Tifa left to get a bowl and damp cloth while Zack stood by the bed, staring down at the child. He was in awe at how fragile human life could be.

Here one moment, gone the next. Just like that.

* * *

All the lights in the building had gone off, leaving it silent and like a shell, hollow and void of life. Cloud hurried to then entrance under the cover of darkness. It was around 1 a.m. and the occupants of the building had finally gone to sleep.

Cloud used the entrance through the garage. His gloved hands ran over his sleek motorbike as he assured himself it was in pristine condition before heading on into the bar. Cloud did not need lights to find his way through this place. He knew it like the back of his hand. Moving quickly, he reached the stairs and headed up them, expertly avoiding the steps that always creaked.

The hall stretched before him and his feet led him to his room. Cloud hesitated at the door, unsure of whether he should actually enter or not. It felt wrong to be here, as though he was admitting defeat by coming back.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and entered his bedroom.

The brochures were still on his bed, beside his keys. Cloud felt fear, before anger boiled up and hid the fear. With one quick swipe he knocked the brochures off his bed, scattering them across the floor. He glared at the folded pieces of paper as they lay haphazardly across the floor. It was as though they had lost their power; they were now vulnerable instead of threatening.

Cloud closed the door and quickly got ready for bed. He lay down on the mattress and sighed as all the tension slowly drained out of his back. A slightly contented feeling settled over him. Yes, he had made the right choice. It was good to be back.

The tormented blond man quickly fell asleep, not noticing as somewhere else in the house, muffled cries of pain rose up.

Zack lifted his groggy head, wondering what had woken him. Letting his foggy mind clear, he focused and listened, his advanced hearing picking up the soft creaks of the house shifting and the soft pitfalls of some creature scurrying around outside.

Before his mind had even registered the sound, Zack found himself swinging out of bed and hurrying down the hall towards Denzel's room. That was what had woken him. The boy was whimpering.

Entering the room, Zack went straight to the boy's side and bent down, his face furrowed with concern. Denzel was writhing as a thick black ooze slowly dripped off his face and stained the bed sheets. Strangled moans and whines emitted from his mouth as his face was pinched in pain.

"Denzel! Denzel, wake up." Zack said as he reached down to stir the boy from whatever nightmare he was experiencing.

The boy's body arched back as he gave a bloodcurdling scream. Zack flinched and stared in horror. What was happening to the poor boy? Lunging forward this time, he gripped Denzel by the arms and shook him.

"Wake up!"

Denzel's eyes flung open and he screamed again, staring around himself furtively as he scrambled backwards, away from whatever threat pursued him. His mind slowly registered that the threat was gone and he gradually calmed, his chest still heaving in an after-effect of the terror.

"What's going on?" Tifa asked as she came into the room, her hair mussed and tired lines under her eyes. A nervous Marlene hid behind Tifa.

"I don't know. Just a nightmare I think." Zack said before turning back to the boy, "It's okay Denzel. It's over now. It's over."

"H-he tried to hurt me! He wants to hurt all of us! H-h-he's not d-dead anymore! H-he's c-c-coming b-back!" the young boy stuttered in terror as he tried to convey what he had seen.

"Shh, shh. It's alright. He can't hurt you here. I'll protect you." Zack promised as he pulled the small boy into his arms, cradling him. Denzel continued to shudder, his small fists grasping Zack's shirt as though it was his life line.

It took some time for Zack and Tifa to get Denzel back to sleep. Eventually he slipped into a deep and calm slumber, reassuring the adults that he was not about to start screaming again. Sending Marlene back to bed ahead of them, Zack and Tifa quietly slipped out of Denzel's room, shutting the door softly behind them.

"What do you think caused his nightmare?" Tifa asked softly, seeing the deep frown on Zack's face and knowing that he was pondering something quite fiercely.

"I'm not sure." Zack replied, his eyes staring down the hall, "But, as a point of interest that could be related to this incident or it could be completely unrelated... Cloud's back."

"What?" Tifa looked down the hall towards Cloud's room. "How can you tell?" Zack was silent for a moment before answering.

"Just... the atmosphere around that room is different. He's definitely back."

"Which means we need to keep Denzel away from him." Tifa continued and Zack nodded. She sighed and rubbed a tired hand across her face. "Why did this have to happen, Zack? What is even happening? I don't understand it. Cloud seems to be losing his mind... Will it ever end?"

"Maybe. I don't know. We'll just have to take it as it comes, Tifa. There's not much else we can do." Zack turned and walked back to his room. Tifa trailed after him.

"I'm just getting so sick of it all. I mean... I know it sounds terrible, but I think I'm giving up on Cloud. He wasn't so bad a few months ago. He was unreliable, yes. But he's just gone downhill since then. Nothing seems to effect him anymore."

Zack turned and rested a comforting hand on Tifa's shoulder.

"I'll message Reno in the morning, see what he's come up with. If he can get Cloud to that man, maybe we can save Cloud." he said. Tifa shuddered.

"I just don't feel good about trusting that _monster_ , Zack. It's too dangerous."

"It's a risk we have to take. Now get some sleep Tifa. You need it."

They departed to their rooms and fell into light, restless sleeps. Morning came all too soon and they found themselves drawn and tired as they got up to face what could only be a stressful day.

Cloud rose late in the morning and cautiously headed downstairs to fix himself some breakfast. His stomach rumbled painfully at the thought of food. When Cloud stumbled on the staircase, he gripped the banister tightly and mentally decided that going without food for an extended period of time was not a good idea. He was weak.

The blond man peered into the kitchen nervously. Even if he had come back to resume his old life until his mind spiralled to the bottom of this insane abyss, Cloud was reluctant to confront the others just yet.

Zack was the only one in the kitchen, his head bent as his fingers flew across his phone's keypad, messaging someone.

A chill washed over Cloud. No. Why Zack? Why couldn't it have been Tifa? He would have preferred her heartbroken questions and helpless tears to this demented hallucination that refused to leave him alone. His gut clenched and twisted. Cloud no longer felt hungry.

"You got a few jobs waiting for you." Zack said without looking up and Cloud flinched. "Tifa asked me to check on the delivery service for you. Five unanswered messages waiting on your office phone and six calls that Tifa or I answered. Don't worry, we explained that you'd been experiencing some mechanical problems lately, so we couldn't be sure when you'd make the deliveries. The people were happy with that."

Cloud said nothing in response. Zack sent the message, shut the phone and looked up.

"Tifa's taken the kids out for the day. They needed a break. They've been pretty stressed lately." Zack closed his mouth, unsure of where that topic was going. He did not want to make Cloud any more uncomfortable than he obviously already was.

"You hungry? I was just about to get some food, myself." the black-haired SOLDIER finally spoke again. Steeling himself, Cloud nodded. Zack flashed a relieved smile before turning and grabbing some bowls.

Cloud entered the kitchen and stood dumbly as he watched Zack fuss about. Zack turned around and held out a box of cereal to Cloud.

"Here."

The blond man could not move. His breaths rattled within his frail chest and his hands trembled as cold sweat broke out on his face. The stance that Zack held before him now was the exact same stance that the other Zack hallucination had taken before Cloud, only one day earlier.

He could not trust either of them.

Cloud had to ignore these hallucinations, he desperately reminded himself. It was the only way to combat them. Somewhat surprised that he was still fighting against his fall into insanity, Cloud sidestepped Zack. He retrieved his own bowl, spoon and cereal. The milk was already on the table. Acting coolly, he sat down and began his meal without another glance over in Zack's direction.

Zack lowered the outstretched hand, pain twisting in his gut. Why did Cloud always have to do that to him? Just when Zack thought he had a chance at repairing their relationship and helping Cloud, his friend just had to go and rejecting him so simply and coldly.

It was the easiest way to rattle Zack.

He sighed and in a momentary burst of frustration, Zack slammed the cereal down beside Cloud. He turned away and got his own food before sitting at the other end of the table.

They were like immature children, pettily ignoring each other.

The shrill ring of a phone shattered the tense silence. Cloud glanced up as Zack fished his phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Yo!"

"Reno." Zack stood up from the table and walked away. He was unsure how much of the conversation he was comfortable with Cloud overhearing.

"It took some convincing, but he finally agreed to help, yo." Reno said, in answer to the text message he had just received from Zack.

"Oh, that's great. Just tell him to be ready at all times." Zack replied, keeping his voice soft.

"Right. So how's the Cloud-hunting going, yo?" Reno was blatantly curious.

"Actually, it's not."

"What? You better get onto that, and fast, or-"

"Reno, relax. There's no need." Zack walked further away and dropped his voice even lower, "He came back. We didn't call him or anything, he just showed up sometime last night. Slipped in and shut himself away in his room. Didn't wanna be noticed. But now he's up and pretty much acting as though nothing has changed."

Reno let out a low whistle, causing Zack to cringe as the noise was distorted through the phones.

"That's random, yo! What would he come back for?"

"Who knows? But who cares? He's back and I'm gonna personally ensure that he doesn't leave again."

Cloud watched as Zack murmured to Reno on the phone. His instincts told him that they were discussing him, which only served to make Cloud even more uncomfortable. His heart thudded wildly against his ribs and his nerves prickled in hypersensitivity as he slunk closer.

He could do it. He could end all his problems, right now. All it would take was one well-aimed thrust. Cloud could do it. He'd done far worse things in the past. This would be easy. No problem at all. His mouth went dry as everything seemed to slow down to a painful clarity.

The meat knife was weighted in his hand, not heavy but weighted enough to prove a substantial and deadly force. His muscles gradually coiled, tensing in preparation for the attack. His mind cleared, blocking out all thoughts and allowing him to calculate perfectly.

Zack Fair was as good as dead.

The blade lifted, its edge razor-sharp. Cloud breathed in, then struck. Adrenaline flooded his senses. The meat knife was flying, slicing through the air with deadly accuracy.

Zack closed the phone and turned to his right, sensing a presence behind him. Something flashed in the corner of his eye before pain exploded through his right shoulder and he cried out. Blood. That was all he could see. And the hilt of the meat knife, protruding from his shoulder with his attacker's hand still wrapped around it.

Cloud screamed in anguish and self-hatred. His conscience and loyalty reared their heads, striking at him emotionally as he dealt the blow. Regardless of whether the man before him was a hallucination or not, this was Zack! How could Cloud kill his best friend?

He had to!

Cloud wrenched the knife out before striking again, a bloodcurdling scream ripping past his lips. Zack shouted and raised his arm to defend himself, still too shocked by the situation to react. The knife slammed into Zack's forearm, shattering bone and piercing out the other side. Zack screamed in agony and stumbled backwards.

"Die, die! Just die already!" Cloud was snarling at him, the blond's face twisted into an unrecognisable expression of rage, hatred, fear and terror. He wrenched the knife back to himself before striking out again.

Zack reacted.

His left hand shot out, grabbing Cloud's wrist and twisting until he felt a snap and the knife fell to the ground as Cloud shrieked as fiery shards of pain shot up through his wrist and forearm. The SOLDIER's enhanced strength, combined with the rapidness of the attack had sufficiently fractured one, if not two, bones.

Zack pushed forward, forcing Cloud to the ground. The blond cried out as his senses were continually assaulted by waves of pain. Zack shoved a foot out, slamming it against Cloud's throat and effectively pinning him to the ground. His eyes were narrowed and glowing fiercely as he snarled down at his relentless attacker.

"What the hell is this?" Zack snapped, "I get that you're messed up right now! I get that you don't exactly like seeing my face around. But I'm your best friend, Cloud! What the hell is going on?"

"Shut up! Shut! Up! You're just a hallucination! So get away from me! Stop taking over my life! Just get out! Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Leave me alone. Shut up! Why are you saying this? I said shut up! Just get out of my head, leave me alone." Cloud's head jerked from side to side as he reacted, his voice going hoarse as the pressure on his throat finally registered.

Zack stared down as his best friend writhed as though he were possessed. Gritting his teeth as tears threatened to fill his eyes, Zack pressed down harder with his foot.

Cloud's eyes bulged and the skin around his lips started to turn blue. His struggles turned frantic as his oxygen was cut off, the fingers of his left hand clawing helplessly at Zack's leg. Slowly, his movements grew weaker and weaker. Cloud's hand fell to the ground, limp, as his eyes rolled back in his head and his whole body stopped moving.

Zack waited a moment longer before removing his foot. He bent down and checked for a pulse. Good. Cloud was still a live, just unconscious. He would be out for hopefully around half an hour.

Groaning in pure agony, Zack stumbled to his knees as black dots swam in front of his vision. Glancing over at his wounds, Zack saw the bone protruding from his right forearm. Blood pumped rapidly out of the torn flesh. It soaked his clothes and dripped onto the floor. Feeling unexpectedly dizzy, Zack moaned as he fumbled with his phone.

Somehow flipping it open, he dialled Tifa's number.

"Tifa. It's me." His voice was pained, weak. "Come back, now. And bring ... bring healing materia. Quick." He hung up and slumped on the floor, letting his head droop between his knees in an effort to not pass out.

What had happened? Why had it happened? Zack did not understand. It had all been so rushed, too sudden. He glanced over at Cloud and felt his heart wrench again.

Hadn't they all suffered enough?


	11. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 10

**CHAPTER 10**

Tifa stood in the kitchen before Zack, a hand pressed over her mouth as worry lines decorated her face. Marlene and Denzel were sleeping on the couch in a living room, a short distance away. Denzel in particular had been too terrified to go upstairs to sleep when he knew that Cloud was now back in his own room. Marlene had wanted to stay with her friend.

Upon returning home, Tifa had discovered an unconscious Cloud, and Zack sitting in a pool of his own blood. The children had stared and Marlene almost panicked. They had been sent out of the room while Tifa attended to the wounds.

Zack's bleeding had stopped and his broken arm pulled itself back into alignment. As Cloud's wrist healed, Zack and Tifa carried the blond upstairs and lay him on his bed. Tifa ensured the window was shut and bolted before they left the room, shutting the door behind them. They had returned downstairs and Zack had promptly collapsed onto a seat by the table, exhaustion washing over him.

"And he just ... stabbed you?" Tifa asked, her voice trembling. Zack nodded weakly.

"It just... happened so fast. I have no idea what caused him to act like that. But I think it's safe to say that his condition is worsening. For some reason he seems to get worse when he's around me." Zack lowered his head further. Was this all his fault?

"You can't blame yourself. You haven't even done anything wrong!" Tifa said, arguing against Zack's guilt. "What did Reno have to say?"

"That's the only good part of this story. Everything's ready. We can take Cloud down there whenever we want."

"Huh. Something tells me that'll be easier said than done."

"Yeah."

They fell into a long silence. Zack reached his left hand up to grip his right shoulder. In spite of the healing materia that Tifa had provided, the wound had left a brutal scar and it ached terribly. Zack gingerly tested the arm's range of movement. It twinged a few times, but he was relieved to find that he would still be able to swing his sword in battle, if need be.

"What do we do now?" Tifa asked.

"I say, let's just wait until tomorrow morning. I'm not really in any condition to wrestle with Cloud if he gets aggressive. Besides, we'll need someone to look after the kids. Let's just sort it out tomorrow. I'm too tired to think about it now."

Tifa glanced out the window to where the sun was disappearing behind other buildings. She hadn't realised how late it had gotten, so quickly.

"Alright. I'll get the kids up to bed. Do you want anything to eat, Zack? You haven't eaten much today, have you?"

"Actually, food sounds great. But I'll get that, Tifa. No really, it's fine." Zack said, cutting off Tifa's protest before she had a chance to voice it. Zack knew that Tifa liked to try and control everything when she got stressed. He also knew that she was taking on too much at the moment. She needed to relax and rest.

Relenting, Tifa nodded and went to wake Marlene and Denzel. Marlene came quite willingly, but Denzel's eyes grew round and adamantly refused to sleep in his own room. Breaking away from Tifa's grip, he grasped hold of Zack's shirt and refused to let go.

"It's alright." Zack said as he placed a comforting arm around the boy. "He can stay in my room tonight. I don't mind."

Accepting that, Tifa took Marlene and led her upstairs to bed. Zack and Denzel ate before heading up as well. They settled down for the night and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

Ear piercing screams shattered the night air. Confusion and near-panic swamped over Zack as he struggled in the bed, the noise tearing him from his sleep. Denzel. He was writhing. Was it a nightmare? No, his eyes were open and he was staring at something.

Sephiroth?!

There was a shadow at the door which seemed to be smirking down at them. Zack yelled and flung himself out of bed, grabbing his Buster Sword and swinging it up as he went. He pounded out into the hallway and looked both ways, his eyes crazed. Something flickered to the left. Zack chased it, pounding up the next flight of stairs and soon finding himself in Cloud's study.

The papers on the desk fluttered lightly from the force of Zack's entrance. His chest heaving, he glared around the room and searched for the intruder.

Nothing.

Zack's eyebrows pinched together in confusion before he turned and ran down all the stairs to check the kitchen, living room, even the bar. Absolutely nothing. There was no intruder in the house. Slowly lowering his sword and ignoring the throb in his shoulder, Zack headed back to his room.

A sudden though occurred to him and he paused outside Cloud's room. Reaching a nervous hand out, he gently twisted the handle and pushed. It opened and his eyes raked the room, sickly dread lying thickly in his gut.

Cloud was fast asleep, lying in bed. He looked the most peaceful that Zack had seen him.

Sighing, Zack closed the door before heading back to his own bedroom. He rubbed the back of his neck out of nervous habit, more than any other reason.

Denzel was clutching a pillow to his chest as he sobbed into it. The thick, black disease oozed down his face in rivulets. His terrified eyes met Zack's and slight relief washed over him. His protector was back.

Shutting the door firmly, Zack set his Buster Sword back down and grasped a handful of tissues from the box on his bedside dresser before getting back into bed. Pulling Denzel close to him, Zack wiped the geostigma off the boy's face before giving him a clean tissue to blow his nose with.

Denzel gradually calmed down until his sobs were reduced to sniffles and his body sagged weakly against Zack's side.

"What happened, Denzel? What did you see?" Zack asked softly. The boy was silent, gathering his thoughts and processing all that had happened to him into believable words. Denzel could only come up with one answer.

"S-Sephiroth." he stuttered.

"Did he do anything to you? Did he say anything?" Zack pressed further for answers. Denzel shook his head and shrugged, unable to explain the nightmare that plagued him. Zack sighed and pressed no further. Instead he sought to calm and reassure the boy.

"He's gone, Denzel. I searched the whole house. Nothing. So don't worry." Zack did not say what he really thought. It was probably just a shadow. Sephiroth was dead. There was no way he could come back. The last few days had set them all on edge, particularly with Cloud coming back. That was all there was to it. Nothing more.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"I-I thought I was safe ... with you." Denzel lowered his eyes and shuddered.

"You are safe, Denzel. He didn't kill you. I was here for you. I chased him away. He was afraid of me. That's why he didn't stand and fight." Zack replied, hoping to ease the boy's pain and suffering. It seemed to work as Denzel relaxed slightly, before laying down and quickly dropping back to sleep. Zack sighed and shook his head before following in suit.

* * *

The house was silent as they ate breakfast the next morning. Zack's face was grim and Tifa looked even more stressed. Denzel looked somewhat relaxed and Marlene was glancing between all of them, as though trying to figure out what she should be feeling.

Cloud was gone, along with his bike. They had discovered this right after Zack informed Tifa of the previous night's escapades. He had not said that the shadow definitely was Sephiroth, in spite of Denzel's claims. Instead, he told her had seen a form that for some reason reminded him of Sephiroth. Yet no intruder had been found.

Upon discovering Cloud's absence, the two adults immediately felt guilty and annoyed with themselves. They should have dragged Cloud out to Reno while he was unconscious, no matter that Zack was wounded and Tifa exhausted.

Still, there was nothing that could be done to change what had happened. They would just have to deal with it and get on with life.

"Perhaps he's just gone out making deliveries?" Tifa suggested hopefully. Zack shrugged.

"Who cares, as long as he's gone?" Denzel muttered, earning himself a jab in the ribs from Marlene. He scowled at her and she glared back.

"Well, there's no point in sitting around here all day. And we may as well give Cloud one day before we start a manhunt for him. Tifa, what in this place needs fixing up? Any handyman jobs? Just name it and I'll do it." Zack said, trying to adopt a cheerier attitude.

"Sure, there are a few jobs you can do." Tifa said, warming to the idea.

They passed the day in a more pleasant manner than the other days before this one. Pushing all thoughts of Cloud to the back of their minds for one day, they were able to relax and simply enjoy being in each others company. Tifa updated Zack on more things that had happened since his 'absence'. Even Marlene and Denzel started playing with each other again.

The evening approached and Tifa wondered whether she should open the bar that night or not. Things had been so irregular lately that she had not been able to open the bar as often as she would have liked. She did not want to lose business, nor discourage customers from coming back.

"Just give it a little while longer." Zack said, "We can get the place ready in case Cloud doesn't show up, but at least it won't be a big issue if he does come back."

Tifa conceded and they set about organising the bar in preparation for a busy night.

Denzel grew nervous as he watched the clock. He knew the times that Cloud usually came home from making deliveries and the time was drawing close. Denzel had a plan in mind. A plan to deal with Cloud once and for all. He needed to put it into action.

The minutes continued to tick by.

Tifa glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already half an hour later than her usual opening time. She was ready to give up on Cloud and simply open the bar. Besides, she needed the money.

The growl of an engine grew steadily louder. Zack raised an eyebrow at Tifa as the noise disappeared into the garage beside the establishment, before being cut off. Footsteps approached and the side door opened to reveal a black-clothed blond man.

Cloud had come back.

He walked a few paces in before realising that every eye was upon him. He hesitated and looked around nervously. Were they planning to attack him or something?

Zack watched Cloud very closely. He was searching for any hostility from the man, any risk of a second attack. Instead the blond dropped his head and walked straight past them. Zack let out a breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Cloud was a lot more mellow today than he had been yesterday.

"Cloud." Tifa said, hoping to intercept him. They had to convince Cloud to go for a drive with Tifa. She would take him to Reno and then they would finally get Cloud the help that he so desperately needed.

She opened her mouth to continue but was cut off by a loud shriek.

Denzel ran straight at Cloud, grasping Zack's Buster Sword tightly in his young hands. His face was tight from the strain of holding the immense weight but it did not deter him from his goal.

He was going to run Cloud through.

Cloud jumped back in alarm but Denzel chased him. Letting out an animalistic snarl, the boy slashed the sword at his enemy. The weight was too much and it came out of Denzel's hands, missing Cloud's throat by mere inches.

"Denzel, stop!" Tifa yelled in horror.

Angered that he had lost his weapon, Denzel screamed and jumped on Cloud, clawing at him as he struggled to grab him by the throat and choke him to death.

"Denzel, that's enough!" Zack said, running forward and grabbing the boy. Cloud was struggling, but not very hard. He did not want to hurt Denzel.

Cloud's foot caught on something and he felt himself falling. His body impacted the ground hard, but there was no longer any weight on him from above. His eyes were wide in shock as he saw Zack had finally pried the young boy from Cloud's body.

What on earth had incited this attack?

"No, no! Let me kill him! Let me kill him!" Denzel protested and writhed wildly in Zack's grasp.

"We don't want to kill him, Denzel! Why are you doing this?"

"He deserves to die! Murderer!"

Zack almost lost his grip on the child from the ferocity of which Denzel tried to launch himself back onto Cloud.

"What are you talking about, Denzel? I'm not a murderer!" Cloud said, finally finding his voice.

"Yes you are! You killed everyone! You destroyed everything good in this world!"

Not understanding the boy's ravings, Zack carried Denzel out of the bar and to his bedroom. He had to keep Denzel away from Cloud.

Back downstairs, Cloud looked over at Tifa, his expression pained.

"Why would Denzel try to kill me?" he asked. Tifa shook her head and stepped closer to him but stopped herself from embracing him at the last moment. Something had changed in the way that she saw Cloud. She was slightly afraid of him.

"I don't know. Cloud ... everything's just so messed up at the moment. I need a break from it all." Her voice was weary and she rested a hand on her forehead. Cloud rubbed her shoulder kindly.

"You deserve a break, Tifa. You really do."

Tifa couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was as though the tormented and deranged Cloud had never existed! He sounded so ... normal. Giving a slight hint of a smile and leaning in to his touch, Tifa shyly looked up at Cloud.

"Would you come with me?" she asked.

"Come with you? Where?"

"Just for a drive. Anywhere, just to get out of this place. Please, Cloud. We haven't spent any time together for such a long time. I miss it."

Cloud's hand fell from Tifa's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Tifa. I know how much this means to you. But I can't. Not tonight. I'm too exhausted. I've been making deliveries all day and I had to deal with some rather crude customers. Maybe tomorrow night, okay?"

He stepped past her and headed towards the stairs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He couldn't go for a drive alone with Tifa! Who knew what kind of hallucinations would attack him? And Cloud was losing his resolve. He could no longer fight the hallucinations like he was meant to. There was no point to it, anyway. They wouldn't go away. They would never leave him alone. So why should he bother trying?

"Cloud, please!" Tifa cried out, hoping to stop him, "Just one night! Is that so much to ask for? It doesn't even have to be for very long! I just want to spend some time with you."

The young man glanced back at her, unable to ignore the hurt he heard in her voice. Tifa stood there, a myriad of emotions swimming over her face. She was tired, so very tired. Yet she wanted to spend time with him. She was sad, angry, hurt and almost at her wit's end. Cloud was confused. Why was she trying so hard to get him out of the house?

"I can't." he said, warning bells ringing in his head and his gut tightening nervously. Cloud looked away and quickly ascended the stairs to his room. He couldn't stand her soul-piercing gaze any longer.

"Fine then. I should have known. Nothing's changed. You always let me down." Tifa whispered to his back as he disappeared.

With a sigh, she collapsed into the closest chair. Marlene came over and climbed into her lap before wrapping her arms around Tifa's neck and cuddling up against her.

"It'll be alright, Tifa." the little girl said in an effort to comfort her adult friend. Tifa couldn't help but smile at the beauty of Marlene's young innocence. The girl didn't fully understand the situation, yet that did not stop her from trying to help people.

"Thank you Marlene."

They stayed there, holding each other together.

Zack descended the stairs and hesitated in front of the beautiful scene before him. Marlene pulled back first and twisted around to look up at him. Tifa looked over and used the excuse of brushing hair out of her face to hurriedly dash away a few stray tears.

"Denzel's in bed. His stigma got really bad and he passed out. I cleaned him up and tucked him in." Zack paused, "No luck with Cloud, then?"

Tifa shook her head.

"No."

"Damn." Zack muttered, "I was really hoping he'd buy into that. Look, we can't risk waiting any longer and having Cloud run off on us. We have to think of something... Ah! I know! Tifa, go up to his room and say you've received an urgent call from Barrett and that Cloud has to come straight-"

A shrill mechanical noise rose up, cutting Zack's voice off. He looked over in surprise, his eyes quickly locating the device that lay on the floor, where Cloud had fallen when attacked by Denzel. It was Cloud's phone, dancing on the floorboards as it begged to be answered.

Zack walked over and picked the phone up, checking the Caller ID as he did so. It was simply named as 'Customer #21'. Zack was about to flip the phone open and answer the call when the phone went silent and a Missed Call message blinked on the mini-screen of the phone.

"Who was it?" Tifa asked.

"I dunno. One of his customers." Zack frowned. There was something odd about this call. What kind of customer called at such a late hour for a delivery? Trusting his gut feeling, Zack opened the phone and began to search.

"What are you doing?" Tifa stood up and came to peer at the screen.

"Something just doesn't feel right." Zack said, "I'm gonna check his voice mail." Zack put the phone on loud speaker and they listened.

"Cloud, I have an urgent delivery that I need to speak to you about as soon as possible. Please contact me for further details straight away." A man's voice spoke as the first message was played. "Cloud. It's me again. There seems to be a mistake with your last delivery. I'd appreciate it if you could come straighten that out for me please." Again, the same man's voice. "Cloud, why are you not answering your phone? This is urgent! You need to come-" the man sighed, "Very urgent delivery, Cloud. Stop avoiding it."

Zack glanced at Tifa. The same man, again.

"Cloud, it's me. Just wondering why you didn't make the delivery we had scheduled. Hope everything's okay and that you're not under too much pressure. Please get in contact with me soon. I really would like for you to make the delivery."

The messages continued to play, all from the same man. And all holding the same note of some hidden message that had Zack's instincts pricked as his gut insisted something was not right.

Zack exited out of the voice mail and started going through Cloud's messages. He frowned. Cloud had sent no messages to this customer, neither had Cloud received any messages from the man. After checking Cloud's call register, Zack discovered that Cloud had not placed a call to this customer since Zack had returned.

"Zack, what is it?" Tifa asked, noting a change in the SOLDIER's countenance.

"I'm gonna call this guy, this so-called customer." he said impulsively, quickly locating the man's number.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't think this man is a customer. I think it's the other way around."

"What?" Tifa stared at him, utter confusion all over her face as Zack held the phone to his ear and waited for the 'customer' to answer the call. Before too long he was rewarded and the now-familiar man's voice spoke.

"Cloud! Thank goodness, I'm so glad you finally decided to answer one of my calls. Listen, I want you to come over right away. You've missed so many of your appointments, I really think we need to have a chat." The man paused, sensing something was different, "Cloud?"

"Who are you and what are your true business dealings with Cloud Strife?" Zack demanded. Tifa watched the young man's face intently. She could hear the phone call well enough and was as desperate for answers as he was.

The man hesitated before replying. His voice was cold, indifferent.

"Who am I speaking to? I was under the impression that I had received a call from Cloud."

"Yeah, that's because I'm using his phone. As for who you're speaking to, my name is Zack Fair. I am Cloud's best friend – or at least I was until he decided to go all mental and start denying my existence and saying he was going to wipe every memory he had of me from his mind! Now, I want some answers! You gonna start talkin'?!"

Zack raised his voice as he unwittingly allowed some of his frustrations to show through. Tifa bit down on her lip and chewed nervously. The man on the other end of the phone was silent in surprise.

"You're ... Zack Fair?"

"Yeah, that's what I said!"

"No, you can't be! Cloud told me you were dead." Zack rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Yes, I was dead! But I was brought back to life, okay? It happens! Or at least, it has the potential to happen. Particularly if you've ever been involved with Shinra."

The man was quiet, seeming to mull this over a bit – or trying to accept it. At length he spoke again.

"Alright. I think I believe you. But I'm gonna need more proof than that. Where is Cloud living right now?"

"For the love of- He's at Tifa Lockhart's place! Seventh Heaven. It's a bar with rooms above it. Cloud runs his delivery service out of the place. Ya happy now?"

"Zack, put him on loud speaker." Tifa said. Zack obliged her. "Sir, this is Tifa Lockart speaking to you. Cloud lives here. And Zack is real. He really did come back. But right now we want to know how you know Cloud. It's important."

"Okay." The man's voice was softer, "You've convinced me. My name is Dr Wright. I'm a psychiatrist and I've been treating Cloud Strife for close to one year now." Tifa gasped. How could she have not known? "He didn't want anyone else to know. He wasn't going to come back if I insisted on telling you, Tifa. So I promised I'd help him keep his problems a secret. I didn't like doing it. But it was that or risk losing Cloud entirely."

"How severe is his condition?" Zack asked, "What exactly is his condition? We're still trying to figure it out. Cloud's only spoken directly to me twice since I returned. He told me it was all inside his head. He said he was going to ignore me and forget me and that then I'd have no hold over him anymore. What's he talking about?"

The doctor hesitated, wondering how much he should reveal about Cloud's condition. He sighed and gave in. After all, Cloud's friends had figured it out for themselves. It was time for them to know the truth. They could support Cloud.

"Cloud first came to me because he had been entertaining thoughts of killing himself." Dr Wright said bluntly, causing Tifa to recoil in shock. "He told me everything he had done with his involvement with the group Avalanche. He confessed that he felt guilty for the lives of all the innocent people who had died when Avalanche destroyed Shinra. He knew that the world revered him as a hero, but he could only see himself as a murderer.

"To put it simply, Cloud was suffering from severe depression. I immediately started him on anti-depressant pills, which definitely helped him. We worked on changing his thought patterns towards more positive things. I encouraged him to spend more time doing the things he enjoyed, such as spending time with you, Tifa, or playing with the children. It took him a long time to feel strong enough to do those things.

"After a while, Cloud came to me and told me that he had suffered some hallucinations. They were hallucinations about his two dead friends, Zack and Aerith." Zack and Tifa exchanged another glance, barely able to believe all they were hearing. "He's been suffering these hallucinations ever since, in an increasing proportion. The hallucinations were so intense at times that Cloud truly believed he was talking to his old friends in person, as though they were alive. The only way we could think of to combat this was for Cloud to ignore the hallucinations entirely."

"Which is why he was so determined to ignore me when I came back." Zack said, beginning to understand.

"Exactly. Look, Cloud hasn't come to see me for weeks now. He's been ignoring my phone calls and not responding to any of my attempts to get in contact with him. I was so thrilled to see his Caller ID on my phone when you called. I thought ... I'll admit, I thought Cloud had committed suicide by now."

"He's getting worse." Tifa said, desperation in her voice. "Yesterday he attacked Zack. He tried to stab him to death. Zack had to break his wrist and knock him out to stop him. And Denzel ... did he tell you about Denzel?"

"Yes Tifa, he did. And about Marlene, as well. He was very concerned for their welfare."

"Well we don't know what's happened but Denzel hates him now! Denzel used to love Cloud. He'd follow Cloud around everywhere. Cloud was like his father! But just a short while before we called you, Cloud came home and Denzel tried to kill him! He had a sword and he just-" Tifa broke off as tears overwhelmed her. Zack wrapped an arm around the strong woman's trembling shoulders, pulling her close.

The doctor was quiet as he kindly waited for Tifa to calm down a bit before responding.

"I need to speak to Cloud." he said, "Please. It's important that I see him. Hopefully I'll be able to talk some sense into him. Do either of you mind?"

"Not at all." Zack said, "But we already have something else planned."

"Oh? What is it?"

"I don't know how much you know about what they did to Cloud at Shinra but ... experiments. Lots of experiments. They were cruel people and they exploited those working under them in whatever way they could. So we think that they did something to Cloud in one of those experiments. We think that Shinra's to blame."

"What makes you think that?" Dr Wright asked with genuine curiosity.

"Just some of the things he says, the way he acts. And the way Denzel reacts to him. I dunno, but it's what my gut instinct tells me. And so far my instinct has never been wrong." Zack said firmly.

"Alright. But what's your plan? How does this knowledge that it's Shinra's fault help us?"

"I have contacts with someone from Shinra. Someone who is very intelligent and may be able to access the equipment needed to repair Cloud's mind."

"Who is it? Is this person trustworthy?" the doctor asked somewhat warily. To him, it was vitally important that whoever was involved in Cloud's case was someone they could trust. Dr Wright knew, perhaps better than the others, how fragile Cloud's mind was. If the wrong approach was used, he could easily be pushed permanently over the edge.

Zack winced.

"Uh, no. He's not really trustworthy. But he's the only person we can turn to. He's the man who brought me back to life." Zack explained.

"Who? Who is it?" Dr Wright sounded slightly strained, desperate to know. Zack gave in.

"Rufus Shinra."

"What?!"

"Look, I know you probably think it's too risky, but it's not. Rufus is really weak. He survived the attack on the Shinra building by Avalanche, but he's paralysed from the waist down. And, he's got the stigma. If he tries anything, I've got a nice sharp sword that I can stab him with."

Dr Wright sighed and contemplated this new information. Indeed, he did think it was too risky. However if these people were determined to take Cloud to that man then there was nothing he could do to stop them.

"Alright. I won't object. But I will ask for one thing."

"Sure."

"After Cloud has been to see Rufus Shinra, I'd like to speak to him. Just to confirm that his mind is properly repaired and that he'll suffer no lingering effects from his ordeal. Does that sound fair enough?"

"Absolutely. If you like, you could even come down and watch the procedure."

"Yes, I would like that very much."

"Alright. I'll call you again once we've got Cloud there and give you directions."

"Thank you. Oh, and Zack? Good luck."

The SOLDIER hung up, feeling a sense of relief settle over him, even as his mind spun in dizzying circles from the new information that had just been thrust upon it. Zack looked down at Tifa who was still sobbing softly. He wrapped his other arm around her and held her in a tight embrace. She needed his support now more than ever.

Tifa wiped her tears away and pushed back from Zack.

"I'm okay now." she whispered. Zack nodded and let her go. Pocketing Cloud's phone and pulling out his own, Zack flipped it open.

"I'll call Reno. Tell him to get down here with Rude. We might have some trouble convincing Cloud to come with us quietly." he said as he dialled the number.

Tifa bent down to Marlene as Zack started speaking to Reno. The little girl had been standing behind them through the entire phone conversation. From the tears running down her face, she had understood more than Tifa had thought she would.

"Come here, sweetie." Tifa said to her and Marlene flung herself into Tifa's arms. The young woman cradled the child and tried to ease her pain.

"Yeah, we need the both of you to get over here now. Nah, we dunno how Cloud's gonna react. But he already refused to go with Tifa, so I guess he knows something is up. We're gonna need muscle. Yes, more than just mine! Have you already forgotten that I was stabbed through the shoulder and arm only yesterday? Just get your butts over here as soon as you can, Reno."

Reno gave some good-natured retort about how Zack only wanted them for their bodies and not their brains. Zack smirked and opened his mouth to reply.

A loud crash sounded from one of the upstairs bedrooms, followed by a resounding thud.

Zack held the phone slightly away from his ear and shot a worried glance over at Tifa.

"What was that?"


	12. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> _Oh my gosh!_ I cannot believe how _long_ it has been since I last updated on here! I'm soooo unbelievably sorry!!!! ''OTL I honestly thought that my account here was up to date with the other places that I've posted this fic, however I was wrong. 
> 
> Thus, I have been re-editing what I had previously posted of Cloud's Insanity and will be resuming updates at a regular pace now! (the edits were all minor, spelling, grammar.) 
> 
> Again, please forgive me for being so slack with this fic and not keeping up to date with it! I can't apologise enough! But please, enjoy!
> 
> -This chapter contains heavy violence and themes. Please read with caution.-

Cloud pushed the bedroom door shut behind him, having just escaped from Tifa's begs and pleads for him to go for a drive with her. His heart pounded as he drew a shaky hand across his tired face.  
  
His mind was in turmoil.  
  
It had been a particularly rough day for Cloud. Whispers of voices had flickered at the back of his mind as he made his deliveries, tempting him to be distracted. Brief flashes of old friends, long dead were glimpsed out of the corner of his eye. Whenever he turned to investigate further, they were gone.  
  
Cloud was feeling more and more unstable. The overwhelming desire to collapse in raving laughing fits came more and more frequently. Odd thoughts began plaguing his conscious. What would it be like to fall off his bike at high speed? He'd never done it before. He wondered how many bones in his body would break, depending on the angle of his landing ...  
  
His state of sanity was rapidly deteriorating to nothing. Cloud's fingers twitched regularly. He did not even notice. His eyes had taken on a crazed look as they darted frantically around as though searching for the source of his growing paranoia.  
  
He would not last much longer.  
  
Stumbling towards his bed, Cloud glanced over at the nearby mirror. His curiosity got the better of him and he walked to stand before the mirror.  
  
Cloud stared, tilting his head to the side as his feverish eyes stared at the reflective glass. Was that really what he looked like? So stressed, harried and deranged. Cloud felt the manic laughter pressing up the back of his throat once more, but he fought it down. He hated that laughter.  
  
The image in the mirror slowly began to change its shape, mutating slightly. Cloud grew confused. His hair was not that colour, he was sure. His clothes ... they did not look like that! What was happening to his reflection?  
  
Horror filled him as the transformation was complete.  
  
"No, not you again! Leave me alone! Why do you do this?" he shouted at the mirror. The figure in the glass sneered, giving a silent jeering laugh. Cloud's heart thundered wildly against his rib cage, accelerated as though he were high on some deadly drug.  
  
His mind was so fragile, like cracked glass. One false move and it would shatter.  
  
"Cloud, help me."  
  
The blond man spun around, staring about his room in near-panic. There! The young woman was stumbling towards him. Her body was bent over and weak. Her clothes were torn, her hair dishevelled and tear stains cut channels through the dirt and blood on her face. Overwhelmed by the helplessness of her state, Cloud rushed forward to grasp and support her body.  
  
"Aerith! Wh-what happened?"  
  
She sobbed, her tears running afresh as she clung to Cloud in an unspoken desperation. Cloud ran his eyes over her, frantically searching for the source of the blood. Was she wounded?  
  
"Z-Zack hurt me. He finally found me, Cloud. H-he wants to kill me! I don't understand what's happening! Please Cloud, help me! Don't let him hurt me again!" she cried in a panic.  
  
There was a small cut close to her hairline. The wound had closed over but had left blood smeared over her face, hands and parts of her torn clothes. Cloud found himself pulling Aerith even closer, wrapping his arms around her in an attempt to comfort her. The girl buried her face against his shoulder and relaxed against his strong body. Yes, Cloud would protect her.  
  
"It's alright, Aerith. He can't get you here. I won't let him."  
  
Sniffing, Aerith lifted her head to stare up at Cloud with big hopeful eyes.  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Yes. I'm sure." he said firmly. Aerith's bottom lip started to tremble.  
  
"Oh, Cloud! Thank you!"  
  
Cloud walked towards his bed, sitting Aerith and himself down. She seemed too weak to be able to stand for much longer. Cloud stroked her hair as he cradled her body. A sense of ease washed over him. He felt more sane than he had in months.  
  
Perhaps this is what Cloud had needed ever since the beginning. If only he had embraced his hallucinations, instead of rejecting them, perhaps his mind would have been repaired a whole lot faster. Even now, holding this Aerith that he _knew_ was not real, Cloud was convinced that his mind was healing. It had to be.  
  
They lingered there for some time, Cloud simply holding her and Aerith melting against him. She was more soft than he remembered, more fragile. More fragrant, more beautiful and more attractive than ever before. Cloud felt a twinge in his chest but squished it down. Here and now, in this moment, Aerith was real. No matter what logic told him.  
  
Aerith lifted her head, looking up at the strong man who had named himself her protector. Cloud looked down and met her gaze. She smiled and reached up towards him, eyes fluttering towards shut. Cloud's breath hitched as he leant down to meet her.  
  
The room darkened. Foreboding shivers shot up Cloud's spine and he pulled away, even as the faint rumble that barely registered in his hearing grew louder, transforming itself to a hideous, evil cackle.  
  
Aerith whimpered and clutched him tighter. Cloud's breath rasped in his ears yet the voice still laughed in his skull, jeering at him.  
  
"No!"  
  
 _Cloud! I've found you, Cloud! And now you shall suffer, like no man has ever suffered before!_  
  
"Get away from me! Leave me alone!" he shouted at the roof, desperate to make the voice go away. He barely noticed Aerith tugging on his clothes. His eyes searched every corner of the room. Where was his enemy?  
  
 _I'm right here, Cloud! Haven't you solved the riddle, yet?_  
  
Sephiroth was mocking him. Cloud clenched his teeth and stood up, pacing the room in frustration. What could he do to make this nightmare end?  
  
"You have no power over me!" Cloud declared boldly.  
  
A fierce wind roared through the room, buffeting Cloud and causing Aerith to scream. Drawers were ripped open and clothes strewn across the floor. The window rattled in its panes, groaning to be release.  
  
"Cloud, he's coming! He's coming!"  
  
Aerith's frantic voice registered in his mind and he spun around to stare at her, dull understanding on his face.  
  
"Who's coming?"  
  
"Zack!"  
  
Laughter filled the room again, cruel and harsh laughter. Cloud looked down, feeling something under his feet. The taste of bile rose in his throat. No, not again. He did not want to go through this again. It was too much, just too much to handle.  
  
Blood seeped up from the floorboards and quickly filling the room. Aerith shrieked as she saw what was happening. She clung to Cloud even tighter and sobbed constantly. Zack was coming, he was coming! He was going to kill her. She was terrified. It was as though she no longer believed that Cloud could protect her after all.  
  
 _Run, Cloud. If you can. After all, that's what you're good at doing. Abandoning and betraying your friends._  
  
"Cloud! Stop!"  
  
The blond's head whipped around as fear ran like ice through his veins. Aerith screamed.  
  
Zack Fair stood at the end of the bed, a malicious grin across his face and one hand on the hilt of his wicked sword. His stance told of the predator that he was, patiently hunting his prey until it was cornered and desperate, with nowhere else to turn.  
  
He had them right where he wanted them.  
  
"You touched her," Zack said, taking a menacing step forward. "I thought I told you not to touch her! She belongs to me, not you! She will never belong to you! Now, you will pay the price for spoiling that which is not yours."  
  
The SOLDIER lifted his sword and swung it. Cloud ducked and snatched up a lamp from the desk beside him, throwing it at his attacker. Zack easily knocked it aside. He continued his advance.  
  
"C'mon Cloud, fight me! What are you so afraid of?" Zack taunted.  
  
Cloud's eyes shot around, judging the distance and searching for an opportunity. Pushing Aerith down, Cloud bolted. His hands closed over the hilt of his sword and he brought it up, in time to meet Zack's killing blow.  
  
Sparks shot off from the blades as they screeched in meeting. Cloud pushed hard, shoving Zack backwards before launching himself into the battle. His arms and legs began to tingle with an electric fire. Excitement rushed through every fibre of his body.  
  
This was what he had been missing. The thrill of the fight.  
  
His old skill began to return to him, the longer he fought Zack. Sweat dripped down his face and his feet threatened to slip in the pool of blood that lay on his floor, but he struggled against it. He had to win. He had to defeat this mad-man! He had to do it for Aerith, if for no other reason. Cloud couldn't bear to let her down again.  
  
Zack sneered at Cloud's pathetic attempts to ward him off. His eyes flashed and the room seemed to grow even darker. With the darkness came the nightmares.  
  
Voices penetrated Cloud's mind, distracting him and tormenting him. He could not clearly make out any of the words that they said, yet their words still chilled and terrified him. His fighting slowed, his attacks becoming more wild and erratic. This was unbearable. The voices grew in intensity.  
  
Cloud screamed, dropping his sword and covering his ears with his hands. Zack laughed in despise at the wretched figure before him. Aerith sobbed helplessly in the background, drawing Zack's gaze away from his enemy.  
  
Cloud forced his eyes open as he struggled to push the voices away. They jeered at him and remained in their intensity. Yet Cloud was stronger than this! Even though his hands trembled from the strain of it, Cloud bent down and clutched the sword in his grip again. His chest heaved and his breath was raw on his throat.  
  
With a yell, he lunged at his tormentor. Zack looked back at Cloud, startled and momentarily caught off guard. The blond's sword pierced the SOLDIER's armour, driving him backwards and pinning him to the bed. Cloud stepped back, shock and horror all over his face as he realised what he had done.  
  
No. This was Zack. Zack was his friend!  
  
Wasn't he?  
  
Sephiroth's sadistic laugh filled the room once more and Cloud looked around, staggering backwards as he did so. Panic began to take hold of him.  
  
"Why are you doing this? Why won't you just leave me alone?!"  
  
 _There is no escape, Cloud. You should know this by now._  
  
In a fit of rage, Cloud ran forward. He grasped the despised mirror which always reflected his nightmares and heaved. Groaning, the mirror toppled forward before slamming into the floor with a resounding _crash_! Shards of glass splintered everywhere, dancing like glitter across the blood before being swallowed and sinking underneath.  
  
There was a groan and Cloud turned around. Zack was standing again. He had pulled Cloud's sword out of his gut and ... he was still grinning!  
  
"Yes Cloud," Zack said. "Get angry with me. Try to kill me! Yes! It will only fuel your own demise even further!"  
  
Cloud panicked.  
  
He ran to Aerith and dragged her to the window. Forcing the window open, Cloud pushed the sobbing young woman out before himself, then hurriedly followed after her. They landed on the awning roof that jutted out beneath Cloud's room with a _thud_. Keeping a firm grip on Aerith, Cloud ran to the edge of the roof and swung off. Aerith was terrified, but she went with him.  
  
They ran.  


* * *

  
Tifa opened the door to Cloud's room and she and Zack peered in. Their eyes widened in horror. What had happened up here?  
  
Cloud's mirror lay shattered on the floor. The mattress on the bed had been stabbed, foam and springs poking out of the gash. The weapon itself lay discarded on the floor and the window was open, as though having been used as a hasty get-away.  
  
"What's going on, Zack?" Tifa whispered fearfully. He shook his head.  
  
"I don't know. But he's gone again."  
  
On impulse, Zack turned and ran back down the stairs. Tifa hurriedly followed after him. Zack raced for the door that led to the garage. As his hand closed around the doorknob, the roar of a protesting engine filled his ears before a tyre screeched and the vehicle tore away.  
  
Zack wrenched the door open to reveal what he already knew would be there. Nothing. Cloud's bike was gone.  
  
"What's he doing?!" Tifa asked rhetorically, frustration in her strained voice.  
  
The doorbell rang.  
  
"C'mon!" Zack said, bolting for the door. They pulled it open to find Reno and Rude standing on the doorstep, looking confused.  
  
"Why did Cloud just-" Reno began.  
  
"Look after the kids!" Zack ordered, snatching the set of keys out of the red-head's hands.  
  
"Hey- what's goin' on here?!"  
  
"Which way did he go?" Zack demanded as he and Tifa ran to Reno's convertible and jumped in.  
  
"East." Rude said, pointing. Zack thanked him by revving the engine and driving away at an alarming pace.  
  
"Hey! Ain'tcha gonna need more muscle?!" Reno shouted after them in frustration.  
  
The two Turks stood on the doorstep in stunned silence. The plume of dust left behind by the two vehicles gradually died down. Reno turned to look at his partner in absolute disbelief.  
  
"They stole my car!"  


* * *

  
The roar of the huge engine grew louder and louder, vibrating almost violently as Cloud pushed his bike to new extremes. At the last moment he disengaged the clutch and changed up a gear. It was a fluid motion and the noise of the engine returned to an angry growl as the strain on it was greatly eased.  
  
Aerith clung to Cloud, her head buried against his back. She was too terrified to look around. Cloud was acting so recklessly, driving so fast! If anything were to happen, if Cloud lost control, they would both be killed.  
  
A second roar slowly grew louder behind them. Aerith pulled her head up for one moment to glance behind them. She screamed and dug her fingers harder into Cloud's sides, causing him to yelp in pain.  
  
"He's behind us!" she shrieked. Cloud glanced over his shoulder and cursed.  
  
Opening the throttle even further, Cloud let his bike shoot ahead. The echoing snarl of the machine behind them reminded him that Zack was still tailing them perhaps even closing the gap between them. The man was coming for blood. He was relentless.  
  
Hurtling down the road, Cloud suddenly found himself in the ruins of Midgar. Slamming on the breaks, he leant to the side and gritted his teeth in desperation. Aerith cried out in fear. The bike swung crazily around the corner. Cloud revved the engine close to the point of exploding before he changed gears, tearing away from his pursuer.  
  
Zack was not to be so easily defeated. He chased them endlessly, matching Cloud manouvre for manouvre. Tyres screeched in agony, engines screamed in protest. Curses were flung and muscles burned.  
  
They left Midgar and headed out. Cloud knew where he had to go. He had to make it there alive. To the one person who could help him. The only other person who knew and understood his condition.  
  
The psychiatrist.  
  
Perhaps it was a last-ditch attempt to save his sanity and thus, his life, which convinced Cloud to choose this course of action. In any case, it led them out to the open plains, filled with nothing but rocks, cliffs and chasms.  
  
Cloud constantly glanced over his shoulder, gauging how far away the bloodlusting Zack was as he calculated how much more his bike could take. Worry lay over his fractured mind. It was still a fair way to the doctor's house. He was not sure that they would make it in time.  
  
There was nothing he could do but try. Cloud was not going to give up now. Deep down, Cloud knew that there was no hope for himself. He knew that this was the last blow that would be dealt before his mind finally shattered into millions of fragments, sending his life spiralling into oblivion. Yet his survival instinct was surprisingly strong: it was fighting to save him.  
  
The two bikes seemed to fly over the ground, eating up the miles at an alarming pace. Cloud looked behind him and swore freely as he realised that Zack was gaining ground. His brain whirring into overdrive, Cloud saw the plan of action and executed it.  
  
He angled his bike to the left slightly. It was a dangerous thing to do, but he knew that he had no choice. His tyres hit the loose dirt and skidded slightly before regaining their grip. The dirt and dust was churned up under the bike before being spat out and into the face of Cloud's pursuer.  
  
Cloud could hear as Zack cursed him and swore at him as he struggled to keep up. Zack moved his bike to the other side as he fought to recover from the blindness. He narrowly avoided hitting a protruding rock.  
  
Anger pumping through his veins, Zack asked for more from his bike. The engine whined louder, but the bike complied.  
  
Cloud fought against the rising panic as he saw Zack begin to speed up once more. There was nothing else to it. He would have to risk everything. He opened his own throttle even further. The bike shuddered slightly, protesting openly. Yet the ground before them disappeared even faster as the machine did more than it had been designed to do.  
  
How much further?  
  
Familiarity began to register in Cloud's mind. They were drawing much closer to the psychiatrist's house now. The rocks around them began to grow higher and more jagged, towering into ridges which led the way to the most terrifying sight.  
  
The chasm stretched before them, a great gaping hole carved out of the landscape around them. Shivers slid all over Cloud's body, intensifying the pain of Aerith's fingers digging into his sides once more.  
  
This was the most dangerous part of the journey. The chasm was even longer than it was deep and it was incredibly dark, even during the daytime. At night, it was a deathtrap. Rocks constantly fell from the tops of the chasm, littering the floor below with nasty surprises that could overturn a vehicle at any given moment. Not to mention the wicked cliff which fell to the right of the road, immediately after the chasm ended.  
  
It was the most dangerous part of the journey, but it was also the last leg of the journey. Cloud knew that the doctor's house was only a handful of miles after the chasm. They could make it. As long as they survived the chasm.  
  
The two bikes roared into the chasm, filling the whole air with the thunderous growls of their engines as the amazing acoustics of the chasm echoed them back. One could not tell whether the pursuing bike was behind, ahead or beside; the sound was so overwhelming.  
  
The ground beneath their tyres rumbled, small pebbles dancing on the surface from the vicious tremors. Rocks began to break off from the walls of the chasm, sending their jagged and ridged forms hurtling towards the ground below, threatening the lives of the unsuspecting riders.  
  
Cloud gave a yell and swerved as a large rock landed on the ground directly in front of his bike. Aerith cried against his back. He righted the bike and sped up again, while trying to calm his pounding heart.  
  
That had been close. Far too close.  
  
The pinprick of nighttime light at the end of the chasm gradually grew larger. Cloud leaned further forward, as though his straining body was willing his bike to go even faster. They had to reach it. They had to make it. They couldn't lose, not now. Not when they were so close.  
  
Zack's bike roared up far closer than ever before. Cloud glanced over his shoulder and cursed, before trying to coax more speed from his bike. The machine shuddered and refused to go any faster. Panicking slightly, Cloud glanced back once more, only to see that Zack had not advanced any further. The gap between them held as they streaked through the deadly chasm.  
  
More rocks fell at an ever-increasing pace. The bikes danced their way through the chasm, headlights casting eerie shadows over everything and the erratic rocks falling like mortar bombs. Zack had the advantage, Cloud reflected bitterly. He could watch how Cloud swerved and reacted to the dangers ahead. This would give Zack more time to react himself, while dealing with the current dangers around himself.  
  
Everything seemed to be working against Cloud.  
  
Cloud could see the end of the chasm. It was larger, larger. Almost there. They were so close! Just a little farther ...  
  
A huge rock fell before them. Cloud went to swerve when the bike behind him impacted his own machine. His bike was propelled forward, onto the rock that blocked the path. He could only watch as the two connected.  
  
The impact slammed through him, jarring every bone in his body. The air whistled around them and Cloud realised they were flipping, the bike spinning and twisting crazily. Aerith screamed. Cloud shouted, trying to reach for her to protect her. The ground was rushing up to greet them at an alarming pace. He had to stop it!  
  
 _Crunch._  
  
Metal screamed and twisted as furrows were torn in the hard-packed ground. Pain, so intense and unlike anything Cloud had ever experienced before, exploded through his entire being and piercing his soul.  
  
Bodies crashed and rolled with the wreckage for ten-folds of metres before being flung away to crash and roll on their own. Bones shattered. Muscles tore. Tendons severed. Skin ripped. Blood ebbed away, stealing life with it.  
  
The broken and tumbling forms finally came to a halt.  
  
The overbearing roar of the last remaining engine died away to echo numbly through the chasm for mere moments. Silence reigned, defeaning all who would listen.  
  
Footsteps crunched across dirt and rubble, slowly coming closer and closer to his defeated prey.  
  
Cloud could barely see. Blood flowed into his eyes and he tried to dash it away as he searched for Aerith. Where was she? They had been flung apart and he desperately hoped she was still alive. But perhaps that was asking for too much.  
  
There!  
  
Ignoring the overwhelming pain which begged him to pass out as he moved, Cloud dragged his broken and bleeding body towards the limp body. Hours seemed to pass before he reached her. His bloodied hands reached out shakily.  
  
He grasped her and pulled her up to him. Her head flopped lifelessly back and Cloud's chest heaved. No. Not this. Aerith was drenched in blood, all of it her own. Her limbs were twisted and deformed. Cloud felt sick as he saw the numerous broken bones piercing out through her once-porcelain skin. There was no way she could survive this.  
  
"Aerith. Aerith! Answer me!" he cried and shook her. No tears came to his eyes. He had forgotten how to spill them.  
  
Slowly, two eyes fluttered open. Cloud gasped in disbelief. She was alive? Aerith stared numbly up at him for a while, not seeming to recognise him. Then his face registered and a pained smile spread part-way across her torn face.  
  
"C-Cloud," she whispered.  
  
"Aerith. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I failed you. I couldn't save you. I tried but-" He broke off and dipped his head as emotions overwhelmed him, forcing his throat to close. "I'm so sorry. I just couldn't do it."  
  
"Cloud." Her voice was weak, breaking.  
  
"I ...I-I killed you," he stuttered.  
  
"No!" There was a wheeze and slight gurgle in her voice as she spoke. She was drowning. "No, Cloud. You ... saved me. You ... finally ... saved me. Thank ... you."  
  
A line of dark red blood spilt out from her mouth. Cloud wanted to wipe it away, but couldn't find the strength. His whole body trembled. This could not be happening.  
  
Aerith's shallow gasps grew more and more frantic, more laboured. She struggled weakly, broken arms trying to reach up to him, to hold him one last time. She couldn't do it. Her whole body shuddered with one final breath. Her eyes lost their focus and glazed over. She stopped moving.  
  
Cloud remembered how to cry.  
  
Huge convulsions gripped the broken man's body. He collapsed over the limp form in his arms and sobbed shamelessly. The tears burned his eyes but he did not care. It was a welcome distraction to the searing knife that twisted in his heart and in his soul.  
  
Aerith was gone. Again. Cloud had been unable to save her. Again. He was a failure. Again.  
  
Cloud was unaware of the man staring down at him, of the disgusting sneer across the man's features. His whole world had collapsed around him for the upteenth time and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He deserved to die. So disturbing was his betrayal of those who trusted him. He could not bear to live with himself any longer.  
  
"Oh, isn't this pathetic!" Zack spat. "You come all this way, go to such lengths to save her. And in the end, you kill her!" Cloud could not lift his head. Zack's words were true. "You are not worthy of your so-called 'hero' status in this world. _Murderer._ "  
  
Trembling, Cloud raised his head and stared into the accusing eyes of his hallucination.  
  
"Kill me," he begged. "Please. Kill me. I can't bear to live anymore."  
  
An expression of victory swarmed over Zack's face. He had finally won. Chuckling at the miserable sight before him, Zack slung his sword on his back and stepped away.  
  
"Kill yourself. I will not gratify you by ending your life. For once, take responsibility for yourself."  
  
Cloud crumpled into tears once more. He could feel the fracture lines in his mind, spreading further. It would not be long now. Soon, his mind would shatter. And he would be gone.  
  
He looked down to gaze at the woman in his arms. She was gone. Panic filled his chest and Cloud looked up. Zack, too, was gone, along with his motorcycle. Cloud gazed around. There was no-one but him, lying broken and bloodied at the end of the chasm.  
  
Everything had been a hallucination.  
  
Whispers filled his mind. Somewhat comforting whispers.  
  
 _Do it. End it now. You can be free from all this pain and suffering. You just have to take the step. Do it. End it now._  
  
Cloud found himself moving, crawling on his hands and knees. His right leg was mostly useless but that did not stop him. An acute pain in his side registered and he glanced down to see a rib protruding from his flesh. He did not stop. Blood dripped onto the ground from his forehead. He ignored it.  
  
The edge of the cliff that lay right after the chasm drew closer and closer. Cloud's breathing was laboured and wheezy but he forced himself on. For once in his life, he would get something right. He would end it all. He would finally succeed in something.  
  
He dropped his head again, not having the strength to hold it up. His hair fell forward and into his vision. Cloud frowned as it dragged on the ground. His hair was not that long. He paused and lifted his right hand to grasp the hair so he could examine it more closely.  
  
Silver.  
  
Cloud gasped as he stared at his right arm. It was clad in tight leather. He looked down at his body. The outfit was not his own. Silver pauldrons sat upon his shoulders and two leather straps crossed over his chest. Cloud's rasping breath grew louder in his ears as he began to hyperventilate.  
  
"What's happening to me?" he asked softly before clapping a hand over his mouth. Even his voice did not belong to him!  
  
It was in that instant that Cloud felt all the fracture lines in his mind connect, before shattering in an irreparable moment. He truly had lost his mind. It was gone. Forever. There was nothing left but to destroy this sorry excuse for an existence of his.  
  
Cloud dragged his body to the cliff edge. His fingers curled over the brink and he peered down at the sheer rock wall, to the ground below which was littered with sharp, deadly, unforgiving boulders. Relief washed over him.  
  
Drawing the last of his strength, Cloud grasped the rock wall of the chasm beside him, digging his fingers in and fighting to drag himself to his feet. His body screamed in protest and his vision blurred as black dots overtook him. Yet he persevered, fighting with his final breaths to complete this last task assigned to him.  
  
He stood on the edge of his existence, swaying weakly as the night breeze buffeted against him. He stared out over the open air, feeling so calm and so at ease. The voices in his head were comforting him, encouraging him. This was the only way.  
  
Cloud extended his useless right leg. His hand left the rock wall that he had been clinging to. He closed his eyes and stepped forward, feeling the world disappear from around him.  
  
"NO!"  
  
Arms wrapped around his waist, tightening before yanking back. Cloud felt the rush and the horror as he was dragged back to the world that he so utterly despised. He fell back on the ground, landing on top of another body. Frustration came over him. He had failed his final task.  
  
Cloud screamed, his body arching back and his mouth frothing as though he were possessed. Zack scrambled out from underneath his friend and stared down at him, unable to express the shock and horror that resonated through his body at this sight.  
  
It had finally happened. Cloud truly had lost his mind.  
  
Zack grasped the flailing arms and pushed them down, trying to restrain his sick friend. Curses were flung out through the screams and Cloud struggled even harder. Zack did not know what to do. If he fought against Cloud too much, his friend's wounds would become much worse. But if he did nothing, Cloud would seize to death.  
  
Tifa stood a few paces behind them, her hands pressed over her mouth as tears streamed silently down her face. She could not believe that it had come to this. After hearing what Dr Wright had said, she had known Cloud's condition was severe. She just had not understood what that meant until now.  
  
"Cloud, stop it! Stop it! Please!" Zack yelled at his friend, emotion choking his voice as tears threatened to blind his vision. The blond man either ignored Zack or did not hear him. He continued to thrash and scream.  
  
Zack drew a hand back, closed it into a fist then let it fly. Guilt assailed him as he heard the _crack_ of his fist on Cloud's skull. Yet it did the trick. Cloud's eyes rolled back and he fell into unconsciousness.  
  
Breath heavy with emotion, Zack sat back and just stared at the remains of his best friend. Tifa came to his side and wrapped her arms around him. Zack fought back a sob as he leant against her. They drew strength from each other as they slowly digested the situation before them.  
  
Tifa was the first to move forward, much to Zack's surprise.  
  
"We need to put pressure on these wounds, stop the bleeding," she said, choosing Cloud's protruding rib as the most urgent wound. "Give me your shirt."  
  
Complying, Zack pulled his shirt off and handed it to Tifa. She tore it into strips, before rolling several strips together in a donut shape and carefully placing this over the bone. Taking the other strips, she wrapped them around Cloud's body as tightly as she dared.  
  
Zack began to copy her, assessing the wounds and choosing the next most pressing one to deal with. He went to Reno's car and searched through it frantically. He found a few changes of clothes which he brought to Tifa for destruction. They worked quickly and silently to save the fragile life of their friend.  
  
After leaving Seventh Heaven, Zack had driven crazily through Edge, then through Midgar. Tifa had simply clung on and endured his maddened driving. She didn't have to ask how Zack knew where he was going; they could both still see the clouds of dust from where the powerful motorcycle had gone tearing along.  
  
Despite Reno's car being a flashy sports car, it had not been able to keep up with Cloud's modified bike. Nor had it been able to handle the tight corners quite like the motorcycle. All in all, they had made good time, considering their transportation.  
  
Zack was intensely glad that they had not chased after Cloud in Tifa's van.  
  
They had driven somewhat slower through the deadly chasm, their eyes wide and staring about for any sight of Cloud. They had come upon the crash scene rather suddenly and neither Zack nor Tifa had been able to speak as they stared about in despair. Cloud's bike was mangled beyond repair, let alone recognition. They had both been convinced they were looking for a body, when Zack caught sight of Cloud.  
  
He had started forward, but froze in disbelief as Cloud's body shuddered into the form of Sephiroth's. Cloud had kept moving, not seeming to notice it. Sephiroth's form gave way and Cloud was there once more. This disturbing image had continued, right up to the point where Cloud extended his leg to end his life.  
  
Zack had not been able to stop himself. Cloud or Sephiroth, he didn't care. That person had been his best friend, once upon a time. He would be damned if he would let Cloud kill himself.  
  
Tifa sat back, wiping sweat off her brow with the back of her wrist. Her hands were drenched in blood. She looked over at where Zack was tying the last knot in a makeshift bandage. All the wounds had been addressed. At least, all the external ones.  
  
"Done?" Tifa asked weakly. Zack nodded.  
  
"Yeah. Done." They fell silent.  
  
"Now what?" she finally asked. Zack shrugged.  
  
"Get him into the back of the car, I guess."  
  
"How're we gonna do that?"  
  
"I dunno. Carefully."  
  
Tifa drove the convertible over as close to Cloud as she could, while Zack waited by his friend's side in case the insane man woke up. The two of them worked quickly but very carefully. After a lot of awkward manouvres, they managed to lie Cloud on the back seat of the car.  
  
Getting back in the car themselves, they adjusted the seats to slide back on the runners as far as they would go. The seats pressed up against the seat Cloud was lying on. Hopefully that would keep him more stable as they drove.  
  
"What're we gonna do if he wakes up?" Tifa asked.  
  
"Pull over and I'll knock him out again." Zack said as he started the engine. Tifa gave no response as she glanced back at the blond man. She bit her bottom lip as tears welled up in her eyes once more.  
  
"I love you, Cloud." she whispered softly.  
  
Zack drove back through the chasm, back through Midgar and into Edge. They would have to stop at the bar first to get Reno and Rude. That meant the kids would have to come, too. Zack did not know where Rufus Shinra was currently hiding out. He moved around a fair bit, not wanting to be discovered.  
  
The car stopped outside the bar and Tifa jumped out, running inside. Reno and Rude emerged minutes later.  
  
"What happened?" Rude asked.  
  
"He- uh ... I dunno. Crashed his bike, tried to commit suicide. We need to get him to Rufus right now! He's lost a lot of blood and is losing more as we speak. C'mon. One of you get in with me, the other go with Tifa in the van. Move, now!"  
  
Reno quickly jumped into the convertible and Rude went back in to find Tifa. As Zack sped away from the bar, following Reno's directions, the red-head glanced back at Cloud and shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"Why'd he try to kill himself for, yo?"  
  
"Because he's lost his mind." Zack said coldly. Reno glanced over at the black-haired SOLDIER and wisely said nothing more.


	13. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another post, close to the previous! Yay! Hope you enjoy and let me know if you find any errors/mistakes. Thanks! 
> 
> This chapter does contain discussion of injuries and such, so be warned if that's not your cup of tea. 

They drove into the ruins of Midgar, Reno carefully directed Zack around the debris. The collapsed building of Shinra loomed up but they passed it by. Only a few hundred metres down from Shinra, Reno ordered Zack to pull over outside of what appeared to be an ancient bunker. The SOLDIER obeyed.  
  
Reno jumped out of the car and ran to the bunker. There was a small access pad and he typed the access code in before pulling the door open. He propped a rock against it to hold it there before returning to Zack.  
  
"Careful," Zack as Reno moved to grasp Cloud's legs. The Turk nodded grimly and together, they lifted the mangled body out of the car and carried him into the bunker.  
  
Lights automatically flickered on overhead as the walked quickly down the tunnel. A strange scent assaulted Zack's nostrils, drawing an involuntary shiver from him. This place smelled exactly the same as Hojo's lab. It was the smell of mako and antiseptic.  
  
The tunnel sloped down. Zack felt unexpectedly claustrophobic as he walked in deeper, imagining the roof pressing down on him and the walls drawing closer. He fought back the bile he tasted in his mouth and struggled to focus on Cloud. Zack had secretly suffered from claustrophobia ever since he had woken up in Hojo's lab, trapped in that tiny mako pod. Zack bit down on his tongue, hoping to distract himself from those thoughts. They never comforted him.  
  
"In here." Reno said, kicking a door open. They carried the body in and over to an examination table. Zack and Reno carefully laid Cloud down before stepping back. Zack looked around the room and froze. His blood ran cold and his palms were sweating fearfully.  
  
This place looked exactly the same as Hojo's old lab.  
  
There was a click then soft whirring. Zack turned to see Rufus rolling towards them in his wheelchair. Despite the prominent disability, that man still held all the intimidating authority and assumed power of his father. It was a family trademark.  
  
"He's unconscious?" Rufus asked before going closer and actually looking at Cloud. He stared in disbelief before spinning on Zack and Reno. "I told you to bring me Cloud Strife and instead you bring me a corpse?"  
  
"He's still alive!" Zack protested. "But barely. His bike crashed. We got him here as soon as we could. Now come on, do you thing. Save his life!"  
  
Rufus Shinra peered up at Zack, his eyes cold and heartless.  
  
"This is asking me to do more than we originally agreed. As such, I demand payment," he said.  
  
"Whatever you want, no matter how much, I'll get it for you!" Zack said in exasperation. Couldn't the man see the blood that leaked through the bandages and onto the table? Cloud was dying!  
  
"No, that's not the kind of payment I want, Zack. I want you to work for me. You still have all the strength and abilities of a SOLDIER. So you will work for me, in exchange for the life of your friend here. Agreed?"  
  
"No way! I ran away from Shinra to be free from you and your manipulation! You think I'm gonna go back to that?"  
  
"Yes, I do." Rufus said coolly, not breaking his gaze on Zack, "Because if you don't, your best friend is going to die. A slow and painful death. You know that."  
  
Zack stared down at Cloud, suddenly torn. Freedom was what he had fought for all this time. It was what he had been willing to die for. Was he really willing to sacrifice his closest friend for his freedom? What was freedom worth if he could not spend it with those he cared about the most?  
  
He had no choice.  
  
"Alright. Fine. I'll work for you."  
  
"Good." Rufus' voice was undeniably smug. Reno muttered a curse in the background.  
  
"Now save his life!"  
  
Rufus took another look at Cloud before rolling his wheelchair over to a strange looking machine. It had a computer terminal at a low height so Rufus could access it. Wires and cables connected up into the roof, going who-knows-where. Other cables connected to a tank that lay nearby. The tank reminded Zack of a glass sarcophagus. Zack's eyes widened as he realised what the liquid inside the tank was.  
  
Mako.  
  
Rufus began tapping on the keyboard of the computer terminal. An overhead gantry began moving. It hovered over the examination table before lowering. Reno understood what Rufus was doing and hooked the four claws of the gantry onto each corner of the examination table that Cloud lay on. Next he poked his head under the table and released the table from the gurney it lay on.  
  
Tapping some more keys, Rufus retracted the gantry. The examination table was lifted into the air and carried to the tank, which slid open to allow Cloud to be lowered into it. Rufus did this before closing the tank again.  
  
Zack's fists were clenched painfully at his sides. He knew this was the only way to save his friend. This was what Rufus had done to Zack to save his life. Still, it was not an easy thing to accept or watch. It felt like Zack was betraying his friend.  
  
Footsteps sounded down the tunnel before the door to the lab opened and four people entered. Rude, Tifa, Denzel and Marlene. Zack immediately turned to speak to the children but stopped as he remembered the blood. He looked down at himself and saw he was thoroughly drenched in Cloud's blood. He needed to clean himself up.  
  
"What's going on?" Tifa asked as she took in the equipment, machines and mako tank. The sight of Rufus Shinra alone was enough to make her start trembling. How she hated that man.  
  
"I've just completed a scan of his body." Rufus said and motioned to the screen. Zack headed over to look while Tifa hung back with the kids.  
  
"How bad is the damage?" Zack asked.  
  
"Quite bad. Fifty percent of his ribcage is shattered and a few pieces of bone have been pushed into his spinal column."  
  
"What? But, he was walking. He was fine! That can't be," Zack protested.  
  
"Then these bone fragments were pushed into his spine after you found him. Most likely during transport. Don't worry. He'll be able to walk again."  
  
Zack sighed and looked over at Cloud's unconscious form. So much had happened. It was hard to believe that any of it had been real. Everything felt so surreal. Zack could barely believe that he was even standing in this place right now. It felt like it belonged to another time and place, another world.  
  
"His left collarbone is broken in two places. His skull is fractured along here. Most of the bones in his left hand are broken and his right leg ... unbelieveable. I've never seen such complete destruction of a limb before. It looks as though his leg was crushed by the bike. Every bone in his leg is broken and this major artery has been crushed."  
  
Rufus shook his head in disbelief. Cloud should not even be alive.  
  
"That's all his injuries?" Zack asked.  
  
"No. He has extensive internal injuries." The image on the screen changed, bringing up pictures of Cloud's organs. "His liver is bleeding profusely and these broken ribs have torn this part of his intestines open. His kidneys are shutting down and this lung has been punctured. Strange. That lung should have collapsed by now. I wonder why it hasn't. Anyway, he has blood in his lungs and will soon drown in that."  
  
"Can you save him or not?" Zack demanded, resisting the urge to beat Rufus until the man agreed to get on with saving Cloud's life.  
  
"I saved you, didn't I? And you were completely riddled with bullet holes. Didn't have as many external injuries. But your internal injuries were a lot worse."  
  
The computer beeped and a new image flashed on the screen. Rufus frowned and his fingers flew across the keyboard.  
  
"What is it?" Zack demanded.  
  
"Cloud's brain is haemorrhaging. Alright, I need to start the procedure now."  
  
Everyone watched in silence as Rufus' fingers flew at an amazing speed. A new program window opened and he typed away furiously. Zack frowned and peered closer. He gasped in disbelief.  
  
"No way!"  
  
Rufus Shinra was in a chat conversation window. The person he was talking to responded. Zack could not tear his eyes away from the name that belonged to the person who had spoken.  
  
"Hojo?! What? What the hell is this?"  
  
"Shut up, Zack. You're distracting me," Rufus said in irritation.  
  
"Yeah but-" Reno pulled Zack away before speaking quietly to him.  
  
"Here's the deal, yo. Tifa told you about how Cloud and Avalanche or whoever fought Hojo and killed him, right? Well, as he was dying, he had enough time to imprint a copy of himself into the Worldwide Network. Then he died, yo. But his copy was still alive, in the network. Rufus figured that out by accident and decided to exploit it. He developed this program where Rufus essentially gives Hojo control over the person in that tank. So really, it was Hojo and not Rufus who saved your life, yo."  
  
"Are you saying that _Hojo_ is going to electronically take control of Cloud's body and _heal him_?!" Zack hissed in anger.  
  
"Pretty much, yo. I don't get how it works fully either. But I do know that Hojo uses the mako to fix everything. Some kind of previously undiscovered magic, I guess. Hey, don't worry! Rufus put in a fail-safe to ensure that Hojo can never permanently possess the body of the person he's healing. As much as Rufus dislikes Cloud, he despises Hojo even more. He's not gonna let that freak have a body to live in again, yo."  
  
Zack shook his head, not fully understanding what was happening but knowing that it was too late now to back out.  
  
"How long will this take?" he asked, walking back over to Rufus who was now simply sitting at the console and watching. Different diagnostic screens were opening and closing before Rufus who watched them closely.  
  
"Hard to say." Rufus said, "The damage is so extensive and this is a temperamental program that I'm using." Zack snorted at that. "It took two weeks for you to be restored to full strength and health, Zack. I'd say a couple of days to heal Cloud's injuries. And then we can move on to fixing whatever mental problem you said he has."  
  
"So about a week?"  
  
"Yes. Easily about a week."  
  
Zack sighed and looked back at Tifa and the kids. Denzel was tight-lipped and glaring somewhat fearfully at Cloud. Marlene was utterly confused and clinging to Tifa's hand tightly. Zack frowned pensively and turned back to Reno.  
  
"You guys got a bathroom down here?"  
  
"Sure. Through that door."  
  
"Great. Thanks."  
  
Zack used the bathroom to clean as much of the blood off himself as possible. He scrubbed his clothes until his hands were raw. Ignoring the dampness of the fabric, Zack pulled his clothes back on, ensured he had none of Cloud's blood left on his skin, then exited the bathroom and returned to the main room.  
  
Tifa was talking to Reno, worry riddling her young face.  
  
"What should we do for the next week? Should we stay here or should we go back?" she asked. Reno shrugged.  
  
"Up to you, yo. There's nothing you can do to help here. And it's not exactly comfortable living conditions. If I were you, I'd be going home, yo." the red-head replied.  
  
"I'll stay." Zack said, entering the conversation. His insides churned as he spoke and his irrational fears screamed at him, begging him not to remain in this underground prison. Zack ignored them all. "You take the kids back, Tifa. Besides, you need to run the bar. I know how good business has been lately. You need to keep it up. I'll stay to make sure nothing goes wrong. And I'll call you as soon as something happens. Alright?"  
  
Tifa gave a weary sigh and stared over at Cloud's body once more. Thin streams of blood had permeated the mako and were hovering in the substance, around the blond's destroyed body. Horror came over her and Tifa forced herself to look away. She could not handle seeing the one she loved so dearly in such a decrepit state.  
  
"Okay." Tifa said, her voice sounding very small. Zack stared at her for a moment before moving closer and wrapping his arms around her. Reno shifted and looked away uncomfortably. Tifa sniffed back tears.  
  
"Everything will be alright. He's finally getting the help he needs." Zack murmured to her, trying to reassure her. Tifa nodded against him and pulled back.  
  
"Y-yeah. Everything's gonna be fine."  
  
Zack bent down to Marlene and looked her in the eye.  
  
"You go home with Tifa, okay? I'll look after Cloud. I promise. But I need you to look after Tifa, Marlene. She's not very good at relaxing. You need to make sure she sleeps each night, okay? I know you can do it, Marlene."  
  
Marlene nodded solemnly up at Zack before flinging her small arms around him and hugging him tight.  
  
"When Cloud gets better, tell him he's getting a lecture. For making us worry." Marlene said, trying not to let her emotions show through. Zack gave a soft chuckle.  
  
"You can count on it!" Releasing the young girl, Zack moved to Denzel's side. The boy was still staring at the mako tank and Cloud inside it. Hatred, love and confusion were all mixed into one. Denzel did not know what to make of the situation, nor how to react. He still had not forgiven Cloud.  
  
"Denzel. Take care of Marlene and Tifa while we're gone. Alright?" Zack spoke. Denzel looked up at him before lowering his gaze.  
  
"Yeah," he mumbled. Zack squatted down and turned Denzel to face him.  
  
"Hey, Denzel! Listen to me. When I bring Cloud home, he'll be better. I promise! Denzel, I think I know now why you're so angry at Cloud. But believe me, he's not Sephiroth! He's Cloud. And when he comes back he'll still be Cloud. Exactly the way you remember him. He loves you Denzel. He wants to protect you and care for you. Do you understand? Cloud doesn't want to hurt you. Not ever!"  
  
Denzel shrugged. Zack sighed softly but didn't press the young boy any further. It was a lot for Denzel to take in. Instead, Zack hugged him fiercely. The young boy bit his lip and hugged Zack back.  
  
Zack straightened and looked over at Tifa, who was staring at Cloud once more. No matter how much it hurt her to see him like that, she couldn't seem to stop herself from looking back.  
  
"Okay kids," Tifa said, tearing her gaze away again. "Let's head home. Everything will be alright. But we can't stay here. C'mon, time to go."  
  
The three people slowly turned and left the old bunker. Zack watched them leave before turning his attention back to Rufus and the computer terminal in front of him. Different program windows were open and a lot of data scrolled constantly across the screen. Zack frowned, trying to understand what the data said. It was words mixed with numbers and letters. He only recognised a couple of words here and there. _Kidney failure ... haemorrhage ... brain damage ... inter-cranial pressure ..._  
  
Zack shook his head and stepped back, looking over at Cloud. The mako seemed to have densified around Cloud's skull, glowing brighter than normal. Zack's mouth fell open and he stared. This was unbelieveable! The mako was essentially being used like a heal-materia!  
  
"Uh, we'll get a bed set up for you, yo," Reno said, breaking the awkward silence. Zack looked over at him.  
  
"No, it's okay. I'll do that. It'll give me something to do while I wait."  
  
"Alright then. Through here, yo."  
  
Reno led Zack off and Rude lingered behind, shadowing Rufus. He was ready to aid the man at a moment's notice.  
  
As soon as Reno and Zack were out of the room, Rufus turned slightly to glance back at his bodyguard.  
  
"Rude. I have an order for you," he said before looking back at the computer terminal.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Cloud Strife is too important a specimen for us to lose him now. Once he is physically healed, I will place a marker within his mind that will cause him to feel indebted to me. I will make him want to work for me. But Rude, you must make sure that no-one else finds out about this. Especially not Reno. Understood?"  
  
Rude was silent for the merest moment. This was a morally questionable order that he was being given. Still, he knew he could not defy Rufus.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Good." Rufus smirked to himself. Soon, he would have both Zack Fair and Cloud Strife in service to him once more. Piece by piece, the conniving young man would rebuild Shinra. No matter the cost.


	14. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say about this one, other than enjoy! And don't think that everything will be smooth sailing just yet ... That would be too easy! 

The week passed slowly, taxing on Zack's strength and causing his patience to run thin. The only reassurance he received that Rufus truly was doing his work was when Zack peered in at Cloud's body. The wounds were visibly healing, broken and protruding bones pulled back under the skin and aligned before the skin closed over. It was amazing to see the improvements each day.  
  
Tifa resumed the routine of her old life, opening the bar at night and serving customers until midnight. She slept late in the morning then rose around ten, shopping for any groceries that were needed and setting the bar up again for the next night. Denzel and Marlene were more than ready to help.  
  
After three days, both Cloud's internal and external wounds had been healed. Rufus turned his attention to Cloud's mind, 'reprogramming Hojo' as it were, to delve through Cloud's psychi and memories, searching for the broken section.  
  
Zack decided to call Cloud's psychiatrist and inform him of the situation. He would get the doctor to come down. As desperate as Zack was for Rufus to save Cloud, Zack still did not trust the crippled man. Rufus came from a long line of deceivers and manipulators. Zack was not about to let his guard down now.  
  
After being contacted by Zack and having the situation explained to him, Dr Wright agreed to come immediately. He would stay there until Cloud was completely better and up and about once more. Then Dr Wright would talk to Cloud, to ensure that his mind was properly repaired.  
  
Having placed the call to the psychiatrist, Zack left the lab and headed back up the sloped corridor, towards the outside and fresh air.  
  
His breath came in gasps as he drew nearer to the exit. Sweat slicked his palms and Zack found himself fighting the urge to run, as fast as he could, to the door that suddenly seemed so far away. He glanced around himself at the walls and roof. Zack flung his arms out, as though trying to hold the building up and stop it from collapsing in on himself.  
  
Why had he volunteered to stay in this nightmarish place?  
  
The door loomed up in the distance. Unable to stop himself, Zack sprinted for it. His body slammed against the door as his hands fumbled with the handle before finally turning it. He stumbled out into sunlight and fresh air.  
  
Zack tried to calm himself, forcing himself to take deeper breaths. The light-headed feeling slowly left him and he realised he had been hyperventilating again.  
  
With a groan, Zack sank to the ground, using his body to prop the door open. His claustrophobia had never been this bad before. The knowledge that he would have to walk back down that tunnel when the psychiatrist arrived did nothing to help his mental state.  
  
At least he would be facing his fear with a psychiatrist by his side. Zack snorted at that thought. Exactly what he wanted: to be told he was in the same boat as Cloud. Although it wouldn't surprise Zack. After everything he had been through at Shinra, he figured he was entitled to a few mental health issues. It probably came as part of the job description.  
  
Gradually, his body relaxed and Zack felt all the anxiety leave him. Now all he had to do was wait. He inhaled deeply and stared up at the clear sky. A small smile worked its way across Zack's face. He would not mind the wait at all.  
  
Dr Wright arrived far too soon for Zack's liking. They exchanged hand shakes and light conversation before turning to the deep, dark tunnel. Zack took a breath as he turned then froze, his eyes staring down into the black nothingness of that tunnel. His mouth went dry and his hands clenched as sweat prickled his skin.  
  
"Are you alright?" Dr Wright asked, immediately recognising the fear emanating from the man's body language. Zack swallowed hard, wincing as the dryness of his throat.  
  
"Uh, yeah. I just ... not a very big fan of small spaces." Zack replied.  
  
"Ah." the doctor said, understanding. "Then, how did you get down there in the first place?"  
  
"Huh, I was carrying Cloud. His life was in danger! If I hadn't gone down, he would've died. I had no choice."  
  
"Alright then, Zack. I want you to look at me. Keep your eyes on my face. Don't look away. That's good. Now, we're going to take a few steps, okay? That's good. Let go of the door now, it'll shut behind us. Very good. Don't look away, Zack. Keep your eyes on me. That's it. See, you just need to find something to distract yourself as you go into places where you feel claustrophobic. Gradually, you'll learn to deal with your fear and hopefully you will one day overcome it entirely. That's very good, Zack. A nice, steady gaze. That's good. Just a little further."  
  
Dr Wright kept his voice monotone and his words ceaseless as he walked with Zack into the depths of the old bunker. The SOLDIER never once took his eyes off the doctor, knowing exactly what would happen to him if he did. Even as they walked, Zack was fighting back the irrational thoughts and instincts that tried to rise up and overwhelm him.  
  
At length, they reached the end of the corridor and Zack opened the door to lead the doctor into the lab.  
  
Reno had found some spare chairs about the place and he had dragged them into the lab. He was currently sprawled out over one, a cup of instant ramen in his hands as he watched the procedure before him with a ridiculously bored expression. Rufus turned at the sound of the door opening and closing. He frowned at the sight of the doctor, not knowing who he was or what he was doing here. Zack had conveniently neglected to tell Rufus.  
  
"Who is this?" Rufus asked, driving his wheelchair away from the computer terminal and stopping the two men from progressing any further into the room. "Why did you bring him here, Zack?"  
  
"This is Dr Wright. He's Cloud's psychiatrist. I explained the situation and he wanted to come and check it out. Given what's happened recently, I'd say he has more right to be here than just about anyone else." Zack replied and fixed Rufus with a glare that clearly left no room for negotiation. Rufus' eyes narrowed somewhat but he gave no further complaint, returning to the computer terminal.  
  
Dr Wright stared in disbelief at the mako tank, in which Cloud was contained. He strode over and stared through the glass at peaceful-looking blond man.  
  
"How does he breathe in that stuff?" the doctor asked in wonder. Zack walked over to stand by him and shrugged.  
  
"No idea. Weird, isn't it? It's a liquid, yet you can't drown in it." Zack said thoughtfully. Rufus rolled his eyes and spoke up.  
  
"The mako is highly oxygenated and regularly filtered to remove any impurities. This is how he can breathe without drowning or choking on it. Not to mention that his body is constantly absorbing the mako, so whatever mako does contaminate his lungs is quickly absorbed and distributed to the parts of the body that need it most."  
  
"Oh." Zack said and nodded, trying to look intelligent.  
  
Dr Wright moved to stand behind Rufus and stared at the computer terminal, digesting all the information before him.  
  
"This is incredible. Such a complex program! To think that you can actually repair a human's mind by simply entering commands and allowing the program to run its course. You could cure all my patients with this!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Hey, now there's an idea for you, Rufus! Maybe that's how you can repay the world for all the pain you caused. You could deal with everyone's mental problems!" Zack sneered as he lounged in a chair beside Reno and attempted to steal the other man's ramen.  
  
"Get your own, yo!" Reno protested.  
  
Rufus chose to ignore Zack's comment before replying to the doctor.  
  
"Actually, this program is untested in the regards of repairing the human psychi. It is very adept at healing physical injuries and infirmities, but this would be the first time we have trialled it on a mental health patient." Zack's head snapped up and he abandoned Reno's instant ramen.  
  
"What? You're _trialling_ this on _Cloud_?! Are you crazy?" he objected loudly.  
  
"Someone had to be first." Rufus retorted.  
  
"Yeah, but didn't you do something to my mind when you brought me back? I mean, hello! I had been shot through the skull and was suffering from brain damage!"  
  
"That was completely different, Zack. All the program did was repair your brain and then recover the memories you had suppressed due to the damage. That was all the brain damage you sustained. Cloud is a completely different case, altogether! It is not a physical wound or injury that can be quickly and easily cured. He is suffering from mental illnesses. We've had to approach this from a completely different angle."  
  
"But, he'll be alright when he wakes up, right?"  
  
"I don't know. Like I said, this is the first time we've attempted such a procedure. Cloud may suffer from unforseen side-effects. I just don't know." Rufus said, exasperated. Zack was so annoying, really.  
  
"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm here." Dr Wright said, "If there are any mental side-effects, I'll be able to quickly pin-point them and hopefully fix them rather quickly."  
  
Rufus glanced up at the doctor with an unreadable expression, but said nothing. Rufus did not approve of that man being here. It would be hard enough to conceal his plans from Reno and Zack. But with a trained psychiatrist here? Rufus wondered if he would get away with the scheme after all. He narrowed his eyes and stared at the computer terminal. No! He would not fail! No matter who stood in his way, Rufus would prevail! His greed would not allow anything else.  
  
Feeling unexpectedly restless, Zack stood up.  
  
"C'mon, doc. I'll find a spare bunk around here for you."  
  
"Thank you, Zack." Dr Wright said before turning and following the dark-haired man to another room. The waiting game had begun.  
  


* * *

  
Sephiroth opened his eyes.  
  
Everything was tinged a strange greeny-bluey colour. Sephiroth recognised it instantly. Mako. He was in a tank. A slight tilt of his head and a scan over his body confirmed his thoughts.  
  
He had won the battle and was currently inhabiting Cloud Strife's freshly healed body. A smirk broke out over the face that did not belong to Sephiroth. It would not be long now. He would return to full strength and entirely consume this body, becoming himself once more. And then he would conquer this world. Just like he had always planned.  
  
Something probed at his mind and Sephiroth flinched, instantly trying to shut the intrusion out. The probing grew more intense and he slowly realised what it was. They were trying to suppress him! They were trying to heal Cloud's mind and lock Sephiroth away for good.  
  
Sephiroth would never allow that! He had to stop them. But how?  
  
His eyes searched all that he could see, desperate to find the source of the probing. There. That computer terminal. Sephiroth's eyes followed the mass of cables and wires. Understanding dawned on him and he smirked. This would be easier than he thought.  
  
The foolish humans were using the mako to channel whatever program they were using to attempt to heal Cloud's mind. As soon as Sephiroth got out of the tank, the connection would be severed and he would be free to fully assimilate Cloud's body into the form of his own.  
  
Too simple. There was not even a lid on the tank. Sephiroth would just have to step out. How foolish of the humans, how very foolish indeed.  
  
Reno yawned and stared in utter boredom at the screen before him. It was his turn to sit up all night and keep an eye on Cloud. He was really only required there to ensure that nothing went wrong. If anything abnormal at all happened, Reno was ordered to get Rufus immediately.  
  
Nothing had happened.  
  
Reno hated pulling an all-night shift. The only thing that compensated for his workplace discomfort was his ridiculous salary. Despite the fall of Shinra, Rufus was still able to pay his few remaining workers very well. It was for this reason, more than anything else, that Reno continued to work for the man. Truth be told he did not much care for Rufus Shinra and would not have been sad to see the man perish in the collapse of the Shinra building. The only thing Reno would have missed if that had happened was the pay.  
  
Sighing, the Turk flopped his head backwards before raising two fists to rub his tired eyes. He was so tempted to just let his eyes slide shut and sleep for a little while. But Reno knew that he would be found asleep on the job if he did so. He also knew that Rufus' threats to dock his pay if he failed to perform at his peak were completely legitimate. The cruel man had done it before.  
  
He returned his droopy eyes to staring at the monotonous computer screen. Nothing had changed. The data was still scrolling up the screen at a steady, sedate pace. It was rather lulling, actually. Reno blinked and tried to stay awake. He wished he had a coffee on hand.  
  
The data froze for a moment, before scrolling up the screen at an alarming pace. Jerked back awake by the unexpected movement, Reno stared at it, wondering what was going on.  
  
The data information did not slow down. If anything, it increased in pace but froze on occasion. Reno shrugged to himself and wriggled in the uncomfortable chair. No alarms had gone off, though he didn't expect them to, and the program was still operating as it was supposed to, so what did he have to worry about?  
  
He turned and glanced at Cloud's motionless body. Reno's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Cold shivers slid down his spine.  
  
Cloud was staring back at Reno, his expression blank and his gaze unwavering.  
  
 _That_ was _not normal!_  
  
Reno gave a shout and shot to his feet as Cloud turned his head away. Okay, this was really not good! Cloud was not supposed to wake up, let alone open his eyes, until after the repairs on his mind were finished. Even then, the command for Cloud to wake up had to be entered into the computer program. It was supposed to be impossible for this kind of thing to happen!  
  
Cloud reached up, his hands breaking free of the mako and grasping hold of the sides of the tank. Reno stared, slack-jawed. Cloud strained as he began to pull his body up. The mako was resisting, trying to hold him down. He fought harder against it. Slowly, his body broke through and into clean air.  
  
"Crap! Oh, no! Crap, crap, crap!" Snapping into action, Reno bolted forward and tried to push Cloud back down. The blond glared at him and struggled against him, surprisingly strong considering all that he had gone through.  
  
"Cloud, come on now! You're not better yet. Uh, you're bleeding internally! We gotta finish healing you! Just lie down and go back to sleep. Soon it'll be all over. Just relax- Cloud! Dammit, let go!"  
  
Reno fought desperately but realised he was losing. Cloud was simply too strong. The blond man swung a leg over and pushed hard. Reno gave a cry and suddenly found himself on the floor, a mako-soaked Cloud Strife on top of him. There was a mean look in Cloud's eyes.  
  
"Cloud! Get the hell off me!" Reno shouted, not caring if he woke anyone up. Quite frankly, he wanted them to be woken up. He desperately needed the help.  
  
Cloud grasped Reno's shirt, lifted him up slightly then slammed him back down into the concrete floor. Reno groaned in pain as stars exploded in front of his vision, swimming before gradually ebbing away. Reno had no choice. He forsook his dignity and began to yell.  
  
"Help! Help! Rude, Zack, someone! Help! Cloud's gone- Ack!"  
  
The blond man closed his hands around Reno's throat and squeezed tightly. He would kill this meddlesome man, once and for all. Sephiroth sneered through Cloud's face, enjoying the feeling of his victim helplessly suffocating.  
  
A door burst open and Rude rushed into the lab, closely followed by Zack and a bleary-eyed doctor. Rufus hurried after them, growling in annoyance as none of them thought it necessary to help the crippled man into his wheelchair. Rufus grumpily managed on his own.  
  
"Cloud, no!" Rude and Zack grasped Cloud and gradually pulled him off a choking and spluttering Reno. Dr Wright knelt by Reno for a minute to ensure he was alright, before moving to help the other two men. Cloud was struggling as though he were possessed. Zack and Rude were having an impossibly hard time simply trying to push him back into the tank.  
  
"Cloud, listen to me! This is Dr Wright! Cloud, I need you to calm down. You're safe here. We're not trying to hurt you. We're going to save you. This is not a hallucination Cloud, we are real and you know it. You just don't know how to accept it. Please Cloud. Please relax and let us help you."  
  
The blond gave a snarl and lunged at the doctor, only stopped by the desperate efforts of Zack and Rude. Having sufficiently recovered, Reno ran forward and helped them drag Cloud back to the mako tank.  
  
"What in the hell happened?" Rufus demanded as he took in the scene before him. No-one gave him an answer as they fought against the crazed ex-SOLDIER.  
  
"C'mon blondie, that's enough for one day." Reno said through gritted teeth. The red-head grasped Cloud by the throat and, ignoring the protests from Zack, squeezed vengefully hard as they all drove the man back towards the tank.  
  
They made it.  
  
Cloud's body fell back into the mako tank, an enraged expression on his face as he continued to try and fight against them. Three pairs of hands held his thrashing body under.  
  
Rufus was behind the computer terminal, his fingers flying over the keyboard at a remarkable speed. Some slight reprogramming complete, he looked over at the mako tank and waitied.  
  
Gradually, Cloud's struggles grew weaker. Frustration was clear on his face but there was nothing he could do about it. His arms went limp and sank back down to lie by his sides.  
  
Rude, Zack and Reno were a little hesitant to back away at first. They were not sure if Cloud was simply faking it and waiting for them to let their guard down so he could try again. Rufus was quick to put their minds at ease.  
  
"Alright. He should be unconscious soon. I administered a heavy anaesthetic through the program." Rufus said.  
  
"Good." Zack said emphatically and pulled his arms out of the mako. He shuddered to himself. After everything he had been through over the years, Zack despised the sensation of mako on his skin.  
  
"For now, let's get a lid on that tank. Rude, Reno?"  
  
The two men complied, quickly carrying the tank's lid over and securing it firmly. Dr Wright stood back and watched them, still shocked. He did not understand what had caused Cloud to act like that. Still, he wanted to find out.  
  
"Uh, he's still awake, yo!" Reno said, pointing at Cloud who glared at them through the glass.  
  
"Don't worry." Rufus said, "He'll pass out soon enough." Rufus typed a few more commands into the program and had a few responses from the computerised Hojo. A brief dialogue ensued before Rufus pushed away from the terminal.  
  
"Now then." He turned to Reno and glared, "What happened?"  
  
"I don't know!" Reno protested, "One minute he's lying there all peaceful-like, and the next he's climbing out of the tank and tryin'a kill me! Scared the crap outta me, yo!"  
  
"Did you touch the computer terminal, Reno? Did you?! By Gaia, if you did I'll tear your head off! You know it's impossible for him to wake up without the command being issued!"  
  
"I swear, I didn't touch nothing!"  
  
"Then explain to me how this could happen?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"Alright, just relax." Dr Wright cut into the screaming match between Rufus and Reno. "We need to stay calm about this. Reno, why don't you start at the beginning and tell us in detail everything that happened."  
  
Sighing, Reno recounted all that had transpired. The information brought them no answers and left them with the same questions. Rufus was adamant that Reno had done something to cause it. He refused to believe that the program had failed. It couldn't fail! Hojo was the program and Hojo had been the world's most brilliant scientist!  
  
The computer beeped and Rufus shot back over to it. His face creased with a deep frown as he read the information that popped up on the screen.  
  
"What is it?" Zack asked and walked over to read it for himself.  
  
"The problem has been located." Rufus said, his voice dark and foreboding.  
  
"What is it, yo?" Reno asked, desperate to prove that he was innocent.  
  
"According to these test results, it was Sephiroth. He has possessed Cloud's mind and is trying to take over his body. He needed to get out of the mako so that he would not be suppressed and locked away forever."  
  
"Wait a minute." Zack said, holding his hands up in confusion, "Sephiroth's dead. How could he possess Cloud's mind or body? It doesn't ..." Zack's voice trailed off. "Oh. Now I get it."  
  
"Well I don't!" Reno protested, "What's goin' on, yo?"  
  
"It's the Jenova Cells inside of Cloud." Rufus began to explain, "I don't know how, but they have kept Sephiroth alive inside of Cloud, in a dormant form."  
  
"What?!" This was only confusing Reno even further.  
  
"Out of all the SOLDIERs that received Jenova Cells, Sephiroth responded the best to them. The mako doses he received only increased the potency of the cells. This is why he was so powerful.  
  
"Sephiroth was also the first SOLDIER to receive the Jenova Cells. After running secondary tests on the cells and a couple of other SOLDIERs, it came to our attention that no-one else could handle the Jenova Cells in their pure form like Sephiroth could. Professor Hojo spent a lot of time working on this problem. He found a solution. Instead of taking the Jenova Cells from the Calamity herself to inject into the SOLDIERs, Hojo found a way to replicate the cells inside of Sephiroth. He took these cells and administered them to the SOLDIERs. Because those cells had already been accepted by Sephiroth, they were readily accepted into the new host's body.  
  
"However, this also meant that there was now a piece of Sephiroth in every single SOLDIER who had received Jenova Cells from him. Which meant that Sephiroth was unable to completely die until all of those SOLDIERs were dead." Rufus looked around at all their solemn faces, "Sephiroth just needed the right vessel to make his return through. If Cloud Strife was already suffering from mental illnesses, then he would have been the perfect choice. He was easy pickings. All Sephiroth would have had to do is drive Cloud insane, force him to lose his mind. As soon as Cloud had lost his mind, Sephiroth would have been able to take over."  
  
"So ... you're saying that when we wrestled with Cloud just now ... we were fighting against Sephiroth?" Reno asked, his hands trembling slightly. Rufus hesitated before replying.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Zack swore under his breath and glared at Rufus. It was obvious that Zack blamed Shinra for all of this. He would never forgive them.  
  
"If Sephiroth has taken over Cloud's mind, can you reverse it? Or is it too late?" Dr Wright asked.  
  
"I don't know." Rufus said, "I did not expect this to be the problem we would be dealing with. In truth, we will just have to wait and see how it turns out."  
  
"And what if you can't reverse it? What will happen then?" the doctor asked. Every eye turned to Rufus as they feared the answer.  
  
"As I am sure that you will all agree, we can never allow Sephiroth to be unleashed on the world again. If this problem could not be reversed, then Cloud Strife would have to be killed." Rufus said coldly.  
  
"No!" Zack cried, "You can't do that!"  
  
"If we can't reverse it, then that is because Cloud Strife is already dead!" Rufus snapped back, not in the mood to argue. Zack stared at him in disbelief. How could this man even think about killing Zack's best friend? How dare he!  
  
"Is there any information from the previous experiments with Jenova Cells that you can utilise in this case? Surely, there would be something that would be beneficial." Dr Wright said.  
  
"I hope so." Rufus said, "But I just don't know. Perhaps we can gain some knowledge from the experiments in which the SOLDIERs rejected the Jenova Cells. But it will take time. Don't expect a quick solution to this problem. Hojo spent years working on and studying Jenova Cells. I wouldn't be surprised if trying to save Cloud took months."  
  
"Those couple of other SOLDIERs who couldn't handle the Jenova Cells in their pure form ... they were Angeal and Genesis weren't they?" Zack asked, a different tone in his voice. Rufus glanced warily at him.  
  
"Yes. They were. Hojo knew a couple of months after injecting them with the pure Jenova Cells that their bodies would eventually reject the cells and cause them to degrade."  
  
"So why didn't he fix them? Why didn't he save them?!" Pain filled Zack's voice. Angeal had been his mentor! How could Shinra have known what would eventually become of these SOLDIERs, yet do nothing about it?  
  
"He tried. He worked hard with Professor Gast to reverse the effects. They even tried injecting Jenova Cells from Sephiroth, but those cells were immediately rejected. Their fate was inevitable. Shinra tried to save them, but it was only a matter of time."  
  
Everyone in the lab fell silent. It was a lot to take in and most of them were feeling overwhelmed. Zack rubbed a hand across his tired face before storming out of the room. His hatred for Rufus Shinra had only increased. Not wanting to be near the man for any longer than he had to, Zack collapsed on his bunk and tried to fall asleep.


	15. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and update a new chapter every day, seeing as I have a back-log of chapters to upload! For now, enjoy this!

Cloud was floating, swimming through nothing. His body was rested and his mind was at peace. A soft smile lay on his face. Yes, this was good. He had not felt this good in a very long time. He lingered in the feeling, never wanting it to end. Cloud would happily stay here the rest of his days if he could. So free, so blissfully unaware.

_ Oh, Cloud. Don't you know? Nothing lasts forever. _

Cloud's eyes snapped open and he looked around. Everything around him was white with no definable shapes. That voice... he thought he had escaped it! Why did it have to plague him still? Hadn't Cloud killed himself? Surely that should be the end of it!

No. The memories slowly came back to him, yet they were blurry and barely audible. Someone had pulled him back from the edge. Someone had fought for his life.

Someone had forced him to continue to exist in this pathetic life.

A figure was walking towards him, across the white space with no definable ground beneath his feet. Cloud stared and squinted, trying to identify this newcomer. He clenched his fists. How dare anyone disrupt his peaceful ignorance!

"Who's there?" Cloud called. His voice echoed throughout the white nothingness. A chuckle rose up from the figure who approached him.

"Have you honestly not figured it out yet, Cloud?"

Cloud gasped and took a step backwards. No! This could not be happening! Why must the good things in his life always die so quickly?

"Go away! Why can't you just leave me alone? Why do you torment me? Why?!"

"Because I can, Cloud!" The voice was patronising, mocking him. "You're so weak. You should stop fighting me, Cloud. Stop fighting and just let me take control. If you do that, I'll ensure that your death is painless." The figure smiled, "I swear on my honour as a SOLDIER."

"You have no honour!" Cloud snapped at him and took a step back.

"Why are you still fighting me, Cloud? I thought we had this sorted back at the cliff! You were willing to hand your life over to me then. What has changed between now and then?"

"I... I have to live for... for... I mean, Tifa... and... the kids." Cloud stared down at his hands. Who was he, really? What right did he have to any of those things that he wished to live for? Why should he even bother wishing to live? Surely, his time in this existence was over.

"Really? That's odd. I thought you were  _ dying _ for Tifa and the children."

Sephiroth loomed over Cloud and stared down at him. The blond man wanted to stumble backwards in fear but his feet would not move. He stood there, staring up with an uncomprehending expression on his face.

"But-"

"But nothing, Cloud! You were going to die so that Tifa would no longer have to worry about you; so that the children would no longer have to be disappointed by you. Why then, would you want to live when you know that doing so would just continue to hurt them?"

Sephiroth's words made sense. Those were the reasons why Cloud had given in to his insanity and decided to end it all! It made sense! Why should he continue to hurt the people he loved by existing, when he could free them from their pain by dying? It was logical!

"Honestly Cloud, I'm surprised you're not more angry." The silver-haired man stepped to the side and began to circle around his prey.

"Angry?" Cloud was confused again.

"Yes. Angry! You were prevented from ending your suffering, along with everyone else's, by one person. One person who chose to defy you and enslave you to further torment. You know who I am talking about, don't you? The one person you thought you would have been able to trust!"

Cloud started to tremble.

"Zack." he said quietly.

"Yes! Zack Fair!" Sephiroth spoke the name in contempt, "He is the one who has forced you to endure this suffering! He is the one who refused to let you die, as you wished!  _ He is the one who brought this upon you! _ "

"NO!" Cloud shouted and shoved Sephiroth away from himself. He was shaking now, unable to bear the knowledge that was being fed to him. It was an overload. He could not cope with it. Sephiroth slunk back towards him.

"That's right. Get angry, Cloud. Because it's about to get worse. Perhaps you're trying to rationalise the situation, telling yourself that you have not really suffered because of what Zack did to you. But you will suffer." Sephiroth smirked, "They're about to wake you up. They'll drag you back to that world of consciousness and suffering. They'll torment you in the name of 'restoring your sanity'. All because of that man who claimed to be your best friend!"

Cloud weakly looked up at the person who had once been his hero, then his greatest enemy. What was Sephiroth to him now?

"What do I have to do? I don't want that to happen to me! Tell me!" Cloud grasped Sephiroth by the arm, "What do I have to do to stop them?!"

The silver-haired man turned his eerie green eyes onto the blond man.

"Give me control." he said calmly. Cloud stared at Sephiroth, wondering if he really could do it, if he really could give in.

A burst of electricity shot through everything, blinding Cloud's vision for a split second. He cried out and fell to the imperceivable floor of this white world that was his sanctuary. He heard voices around him but they were muffled. They faded away until it was just him and Sephiroth once more.

Sephiroth bent down to Cloud, his expression cold and demanding.

"Give me control, Cloud! This is your last chance! You have to!"

Another jolt of electricity shocked everything and the voices returned, slightly clearer this time. Cloud strained his ears but could not catch any of the words. He looked up to find Sephiroth was enraged.

"Stop giving in to them, Cloud! Give me control!"

Cloud stretched a hand up to Sephiroth in order to relinquish his control over himself and become a memory that faded into nothing. Why was Sephiroth getting further away? The elite SOLDIER cursed and swore. Cloud did not understand. Why was he falling? Where was he going? What was happening?

_ "Clear!" _

Another jolt ripped through him and this time, Cloud stopped fighting it. It was too hard. Closing his eyes, he let himself slip away, being sucked away from his reality.

* * *

"Alright, he's coming to." Rufus flicked his eyes from Cloud back to the computer terminal in front of him. He believed that they had successfully suppressed Sephiroth and repaired Cloud's mind. This was the moment of truth, the day they had all been waiting for.

Every breath in the room was held.

Cloud's body still lay in the tank. Most of the mako had been drained out, but enough of it still remained to hold some sway over him. The tank lid was firmly secured and bolted down. They were not risking having any repeats of the last time.

Two weeks had passed since Sephiroth has possessed Cloud's body and attacked Reno. Zack had fretted and worried every single day and checked on Rufus regularly to make sure that the man was doing everything in his power to heal Cloud as fast as he could. Needless to say, Rufus had become incredibly irritated and had recurring arguments with the SOLDIER on a daily basis.

Rufus checked the data on the terminal once more before focusing his attention back on Cloud. He had shocked him three times to ensure a smooth return to consciousness. The shocks were not strong enough to affect Cloud's heart rhythms, but enough to stimulate his mind into awareness.

Cloud's eyes began to flutter. The tension in the room grew unbearable. The blond man flinched then opened his eyes and stared upwards. Slowly, he turned his head and looked around the room. His expression was pinched in confusion. A hand reached out and touched the side of the tank. Cloud was trying to decipher the situation he was in.

Zack walked over to the tank and bent down so he was eye-level with his best friend.

"Cloud, it's me. Zack." The man gave a nervous smile, "How're you doing, buddy? How're you feeling?"

The blond stared through the glass at Zack, his face giving nothing away. Without blinking, Cloud looked away and scanned the other faces in the room. His gaze landed on Dr Wright and he stared.

He opened his mouth and seemed to be attempting to form words, but no sound emerged from his mouth. Zack straightened and looked over at Rufus.

"Can we open the tank? Please? Even if something does happen, there's enough of us here to deal with it. Besides, you said he was healed!"

Rufus sighed and nodded.

"Alright. Take the lid off. But I'm warning you! We do not know for sure that he is completely healed. He may be imbalanced, so he could be completely unpredictable. Everyone must be prepared for anything!"

Every man in the room nodded in agreement. Zack and Rude unbolted the lid of the tank and lowered it to the ground. Zack went back to Cloud and stared down at his friend who lay in the shallow mako.

"C'mon Cloud, sit up for us." Zack encouraged him.

Cloud's eyes flicked up to Zack. He watched the black-haired man for a moment, before slowly pushing his body up. Once upright, Cloud let his shoulders slump and he sagged forward as though exhausted from the effort. Zack could not restrain his grin.

Dr Wright approached.

"Cloud, I'm going to ask you some questions and I would like you to answer me verbally." he said professionally. "How old are you? Can you tell me that?"

Cloud looked at the doctor but said nothing. His lips no longer moved in an attempt to speak. He just sat there, saying nothing.

"Please Cloud, tell me how old you are."

The blond turned his gaze back to look at Zack with slight confusion over his surprisingly innocent-looking face. Cloud lifted a hand and stretched it out. His eyes watched intently as he poked Zack in the shoulder. Withdrawing the hand, Cloud stared at his fingertips before repeating the motion again.

Zack's face was twisted into utter confusion. He looked over at the psychiatrist for help or at least an attempted explanation. Dr Wright glanced up at Zack before continuing to monitor his patient's strange behaviour.

"I don't know why he's not talking. But he obviously remembers you, Zack. See how he keeps poking you? Cloud is trying to come to terms with the fact that you are real. He thinks you should be dead. This is good. He hasn't had an episode yet, which means we may have conquered his mental problems which induced his insanity."

Getting slightly irritated by Cloud's repeated poking of his shoulder, Zack reached out and poked Cloud back. The man blinked and looked down at his own shoulder in surprise. He turned his eyes to Zack and held his gaze for a long moment before a strange event happened.

Cloud smiled.

The expression covered his entire face. It was genuine and honest. It shocked all those in the room around him.

"Why is he smiling?" Zack asked, his voice rising in pitch slightly. Dr Wright shook his head.

"Unbelievable! I never would have supposed that this would happen! Incredible!"

"What? What happened? I don't get it!" Zack protested, desperate for answers.

"Well, I'll need to observe him some more but for now it seems that Cloud has regressed to a child-like state of being. I cannot know if he remembers events that have happened, but he definitely recognises people. There has been no questioning in his eyes when he looked at anyone, as of yet."

"Wait, what does that mean? If Cloud's  _ regressed _ then it's bad, right? Isn't he supposed to be moving forward? Is his mental problem even properly fixed?" Zack shot an accusing glare in Rufus' direction. 

"Zack, you know that the program's work to restore Cloud's mind was experimental. Even if Cloud is not fully healed, this is a large improvement! It's better having him like this than having him trying to kill everyone, wouldn't you agree?" Dr Wright said matter-of-factly. Zack sighed and nodded in agreement.

"Still, it's just... weird to see him like this. The last time I saw him smile was back at Shinra."

"What do we do now then, yo?" Reno asked from where he stood with his arms folded. There was a suspicious expression on Reno's face. He obviously did not trust that Cloud would not jump up and try to attack him again.

"We get him to talk and figure out what mental repairs still need to be done." Dr Wright explained before turning his attention back to his patient. Cloud looked at the doctor and watched his movements.

"Do you know where you are, Cloud? Do you understand what's going on?" the doctor asked. The blond man gave no response, simply blinking and continuing to watch everything. With a sigh, the doctor looked up at Zack in a silent request for help.

"C'mon buddy, we need you to answer these questions for us. I know you can hear us and understand us, Cloud. After all, you sat up when I asked you to. C'mon Cloud, just answer a couple of questions for us. It won't be that hard."

Ignoring Zack's words, Cloud looked down at his body. His brow pinched in confusion and he began to poke himself, as though testing for pain and injuries. Cloud stared at his hands then grabbed the shredded remains of his right pant leg, pulling the cloth up to expose a perfectly formed leg with no injuries and no deformities. Not even any bruises.

Cloud looked up at the others in the lab, his expression confused and questioning.

"He just remembered his injuries." Dr Wright murmured.

"It's okay, Cloud. We healed you. We fixed your injuries. You're not hurt anymore. But Cloud, we do need you to talk to us so we can continue to help you. Alright? C'mon buddy, even just a couple of words." Zack hoped that his words were convincing enough to entice Cloud to open up.

The blond continued to remain silent.

After quite some time of talking to him and hearing nothing back, Zack and Dr Wright decided to stop for a break. Reno and Rude continued to monitor Cloud while Rufus continued to run tests and programs in search of any mental abnormalities. Zack and the doctor went through to the small dining area and fixed themselves some food.

"Why do you think he's not talking?" Zack asked, frustration in his voice.

"Well, something like this is a big shock to his system, Zack. We don't even know how much Cloud does remember. And until he answers the questions, I cannot determine the state of his mental health. I would guess that Cloud is not speaking because his body has not caught up to that yet. His body still has to process everything. First his mental deterioration, the bike crash and his life-threatening injuries, then being immersed in mako for days on end... That's a lot for his body to catch up on."

"But Cloud did try to speak when he first woke up." Zack countered.

"Yes, he did. However, he could not speak. After realising that he could not speak, he probably has not attempted to do so again because he knows that his body is not ready to talk yet. We will just have to wait, Zack. I know you hate waiting, but that's just what we'll have to do. Cloud is not out of the woods yet. We'll need to take this slowly and go very thoroughly to ensure that we don't overlook anything." Dr Wright sipped on his coffee and leant back on the bench.

"Alright." Zack said, his voice weary, "I guess there's nothing else for it, huh?"

The black-haired man sank onto a seat and sighed as he leaned on his elbows.

"Perhaps you should take some time off, Zack. This is obviously a very stressful situation for you. Why don't you go back to Tifa for a little while? Spending some time with those kids will do both you and them the world of good."

Zack shook his head.

"I can't. I have to stay here and watch over Cloud. I don't trust that Rufus Shinra one inch. I won't leave Cloud while Rufus is around." he said emphatically.

"Zack you don't have to worry about that! Do you forget that I'm here? I won't let Rufus do anything to Cloud. Not to mention Rude and Reno. Even if they do work for that man, you said they were good guys. You trust them, don't you?"

"Heh. Only slightly more than Rufus. And not because they've wronged me in the past – although I think they did once – but because they're Turks. You just can't trust Turks. They are, were the dogs of Shinra. They'll always put the company and their paychecks first." Zack said bitterly.

"Well, even if you don't trust them enough either. I will still be here, Zack! I won't leave. I've got too much work to do with Cloud. Don't you worry. With the examinations I'll be conducting on Cloud, I will know immediately if Rufus Shinra tries to tamper with him in any way. Alright? How does that sound?"

Zack sighed and shook his head.

"Boy, I must look terrible if you're insisting this strongly that I go back to Tifa and the kids for a few days." he muttered. Dr Wright smiled.

"Yes, you do! Absolutely shocking. So why don't you give Tifa a call, ask her to come pick you up and go get some sleep. You've been spending every day sitting beside that mako tank, just staring at it. The bags under your eyes are about to swallow your face, Zack! You need rest. And lots of it. I'll call you straight away if anything happens, even if you've only been gone for two minutes."

"Promise?" Zack asked, glancing over at the doctor. The psychiatrist nodded sincerely.

"I promise, Zack."

The SOLDIER groaned and slumped back in the chair, stretching his tense muscles and cracking stiff joints.

"Fine." Zack got to his feet and pulled his phone out, "But only for a couple of days!"

"As long as you get some rest, I won't argue." Dr Wright said. Zack nodded and dialled Tifa's number. After a short conversation, she agreed to come pick him up and Zack closed the phone, chewing his bottom lip. He had not told her that Cloud was awake yet. He was not sure that it would be a good idea. If Tifa knew, she would want to spend every possible moment by Cloud's side, trying to help him. Just like Zack wanted to do. But it would do no good and be no help. This was why Zack had to leave Cloud in the capable hands of Dr Wright.

"You didn't tell her?" Dr Wright asked, not in a judging tone but simply a curious tone.

"It would only complicate things too much." Zack explained, folding his arms. Dr Wright nodded and did not argue against this. "Right then. I'm gonna go wait for her outside."

"You do that."

Zack left the room and headed towards the tunnel that would lead him up to the outside world once more. He paused only to throw a glance over at Cloud. The blond was leaning against the back of the mako tank, looking unstable and weary. His eyes were half-closed and his head lolled forward. Zack looked over at Rufus, who had not even noticed him as he typed endlessly on his computer keyboard.

Forcing himself to keep moving, Zack tore his gaze away and reached for the door. He closed it behind himself and stared up at the tunnel before him, feeling irrational fears threatening to take hold of him as adrenaline began to kick in and his senses were heightened.

He could do this. Deciding to try a new tactic, Zack took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let his hand on the wall guide his steps. Little by little, he would overcome his fear. Cloud had his own demons to defeat. And so did Zack.


	16. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 15

Rufus was more than relieved that Zack had gone home to rest. Without the black-haired SOLDIER constantly looking over his shoulder, Rufus had more chance of continuing to influence Cloud through the mental impression he had placed in his mind, after healing his injuries. He was currently pumping a stream of commands into this mental marker, reminding Cloud's subconscious of all Rufus Shinra had done for him.   
  
"How's he doing?" Dr Wright asked and Rufus flinched. He still was not used to this doctor being here and it unnerved him. Not noticing the effect he had on Rufus, Dr Wright leaned closer to the computer terminal and tried to understand the data in front of him.   
  
Slight panic shot through Rufus, but it was quickly eased as the computer beeped and a different window started flashing. He maximised it and skimmed over the information.   
  
"Huh." Rufus muttered.  
  
"What is it?" asked Dr Wright, not understanding any of it.   
  
"Through the 'Hojo Program', I've been able to locate the source of all our problems. It's the Jenova Cells within Cloud's body."  
  
Dr Wright frowned.  
  
"We already knew that."   
  
"Not to this extent. This diagnostic has given me more information on the cells themselves. Hopefully, we will be able to find out enough about the cells to render them inactive." Rufus explained.   
  
"You cannot remove them?"  
  
"No, I can't. They have become a part of Cloud, entirely. There is no possible way to remove them. The only hope we have is to neutralise the cells. That would sever the hold that Sephiroth has over Cloud and end this nightmare for us all."  
  
Dr Wright sighed and shook his head. It was all so complicated!  
  
"How close are you to finding a way to neutralise the Jenova Cells?"  
  
"Getting closer. I cannot estimate exactly how close, as I have never done anything like this before. But I am confident that everything will go smoothly."  
  
"So we have a chance of saving Cloud?"  
  
"Yes. We have a fair chance of saving him."   
  
"Good."   
  
Dr Wright straightened and looked over at the blond man who lay in the mako tank. Cloud was staring at the ceiling as though it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. He had still not spoken since waking up, but Dr Wright was constantly working on it. He had even gone as far as to make Rufus do some tests to ensure Cloud's vocal chords and voice box were alright. Medically, everything was fine.   
  
It was a mental barrier that was stopping Cloud from speaking. He was holding himself back. Or perhaps it was the remnant of Sephiroth that lingered in Cloud's mind, desperate to regain control. Dr Wright had no explanation for it; he had never encountered something like this before.   
  
The blond man was dressed in a simple cotton shirt and pants: hospital clothes. Dr Wright had found and provided them for Cloud the day after Zack had left to rest. They would be more comfortable than the tattered remains of his previous clothes.   
  
Cloud tapped his fingers on the glass of the tank. His mako-tinted eyes examined and memories every ridge of the ceiling while his mind whirred at an ever-increasing speed. His body was finally catching up with everything that had happened to him. Tapping his fingers more insistently, Cloud started to hum.   
  
Dr Wright's eyes shot back to Cloud in utter surprise. Unable to move for a moment, he simply stood, watched and listened as Cloud drummed away on the glass while humming along. The doctor shook his head in disbelief and slowly walked towards the tank.   
  
"Cloud, can you hear me?"  
  
The blond man turned his gaze to the psychiatrist immediately, staring evenly at him as he continued to hum and tap on the glass. Rufus pushed away from the terminal and wheeled himself closer, watching with knitted eyebrows.   
  
"I'll take that as a yes. Cloud, can you tell me where we are?" Dr Wright held his breath, hoping that his patient would find his voice again. Cloud stopped humming.  
  
"No. I don't know where this place is." His voice was firm and steady, as though he had never stopped talking. Dr Wright gaped and smiled.   
  
"You can talk!"  
  
"Yes." Cloud gave no further reply, but turned his head and resumed his fascinated examination of the ceiling above. The hum started up again and his fingers tapped faster on the glass tank.   
  
Rufus turned to the psychiatrist.  
  
"Why did he just start talking all of a sudden?" he asked.   
  
"I'm not one hundred percent sure, but my guess is that his body has finally come to terms with everything that has happened to him. It has gotten over the initial shock and learnt to deal with it all. This is very good. I will now be able to assess his mental condition quite accurately. It also means that his healing will speed up considerably."  
  
"Good. That is just what we all want," Rufus said in agreement. Dr Wright nodded emphatically.   
  
Cloud sighed and sat up in the mako tank, resting one arm on the edge of it.   
  
"I'm hungry."

\---  
  
Tifa had gone out grocery shopping. Marlene had gone with her. Zack and Denzel had remained behind. There were a few general repair jobs that Zack could do around the place if he felt like it, but he was currently quite content to simply sprawl out on the lounge with a bowl of noodles and a good book. This rest idea was a very good one. He was glad he had let the doctor talk him into it.   
  
Denzel came out of the kitchen with a bowl of noodles held in his own hands. Glancing at Zack, the young boy walked over to the lounge and sat at Zack's feet, occupying the last remaining space of the lounge.   
  
Zack tucked his legs up a bit to make more room for the boy. Slurping up some noodles, he turned the page in his book and kept reading.   
  
The silence in the room was almost deafening. After eating his noodles quietly for a while, Denzel lowered his chopsticks and nervously spoke up.   
  
"Zack?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Is... is it true that Cloud might come back here?" The unmistakable fear in the boy's voice caught Zack's attention. Dog-earing the corner of the page, Zack closed his book and sat up next to Denzel.   
  
"Yeah, Denzel. It's true. Cloud probably will be coming back here as soon as he's better," Zack said gently. Denzel chewed nervously on his bottom lip.   
  
"But I don't want him to come back. I don't want to see him ever again."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because he ruined everything! He lied to me!" Denzel fell silent abruptly, but his eyes remained wide, reflecting some unspoken horror that he so badly wanted to express.   
  
"What are you talking about, Denzel? What did Cloud lie to to you about?" Zack leant in closer and draped his left arm across the back of the lounge. The young boy glanced up at the SOLDIER, as though gauging whether he could trust him or not. After a few tense moments, Denzel sighed and gave in.   
  
"Sephiroth. He told me he killed Sephiroth. But that's not true. He was lying." Denzel's hands started to tremble.   
  
"No Denzel, Cloud didn't lie about that! Cloud really did kill Sephiroth."  
  
"No he didn't! Sephiroth is still alive! I know! I've seen him!" Denzel shrieked unexpectedly, his hands gripping the bowl tightly as he glared at Zack. The SOLDIER frowned as he tried to comprehend what the boy was saying before his eyes widened and realisation swept over him.   
  
Now it all made sense. The last pieces of the puzzle fell into place, revealing the full picture.  
  
_"Let me kill him! ... He deserves to die! ... Murderer! ... You destroyed everything good in this world! ... You're just a filthy monster! ... You're exactly the same as Sephiroth!"_  
  
"Denzel, you saw Cloud change into Sephiroth, didn't you?" Zack asked in a soft, tender voice. He did not want the boy to be threatened. He wanted Denzel to know that he could trust Zack with absolutely anything. Denzel's trembling hands intensified to violent shaking as he nodded numbly.   
  
"Yes." The word was whispered, choked out. "He was Sephiroth, but then he was Cloud. He just kept changing... I don't understand! Why would he do this to me?"  
  
"Shh, shh."   
  
Zack pulled Denzel close to him as the boy rested on the verge of tears. Denzel laid his head against Zack's chest and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, still fighting to hold his emotions at bay.   
  
"Denzel, no-one has really explained to you what Cloud is sick with, have they?" Zack asked. The boy shook his head and sniffed. "Alright. Well, let me explain. Cloud is not physically sick. He doesn't have a cold, or anything like that. He has something much worse. He is sick in his mind. Due to some things that happened to him when he worked for Shinra, he started to hate himself and hate life. Cloud is so sick that he's tried to kill himself, Denzel. I know it's hard to hear and understand, but I think you need to know. And there's something else you need to know, Denzel. It's hard to explain, but I'll try.  
  
"One of the things that Shinra did to Cloud was to put a little bit of Sephiroth inside of Cloud's DNA. Alright? We only found out recently that by doing this, Sephiroth has a way of coming back to life, even though he's been killed before. And ever since Cloud killed Sephiroth, the cells inside his body that came from Sephiroth started to react. They made Cloud hear things and see things that aren't really there. These cells allowed Sephiroth to invade Cloud's body and his mind. But only when Cloud was weak enough or asleep could Sephiroth take control of his body. So that's what happened when you saw Sephiroth become Cloud, okay? Do you understand?"  
  
Denzel shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. It's all so weird."   
  
"Yeah, yeah it is. But Denzel, let me put it like this. Cloud did not do any of this to deliberately hurt you. It happened because Cloud is sick. That's why we're getting him help. And he's getting better. One day, we hope that he will be completely better and then he'll be able to come back home."  
  
"But he's Sephiroth!" Denzel protested fearfully.   
  
"No Denzel, Cloud is not Sephiroth. Sephiroth is evil and he has invaded Cloud's body. Sephiroth wants to hurt you and to scare. He wants to take over Cloud's body entirely and then to hurt everybody he can find. But that is not going to happen because we're going to stop him. Right now, there are some very skilled people working to save Cloud. They will make sure that Sephiroth can never invade Cloud's body again. Alright?"  
  
Zack stared helplessly down at the boy, wishing there was a better way he could explain it to Denzel. Perhaps it was just too foreign an idea for the kid to comprehend.   
  
"But how could they stop Sephiroth from doing it again? How could I ever trust Cloud again?" Denzel asked in a small voice. Zack could not answer straight away. Those were good questions! How could Denzel ever trust Cloud again, when his trust had been shattered so completely?   
  
"Denzel, what if I trusted Cloud? If I trusted Cloud with my life and showed you that you could depend on him again, would that be enough for you to trust him again?"  
  
The boy looked up into Zack's earnest eyes. He hesitated for a moment, then gave his answer.   
  
"Yeah. I guess so."  
  
A huge smile broke out over Zack's face.   
  
"Then when Cloud comes back, when he's completely better, I'll show you just how much I trust him! And then you'll know for yourself. How's that sound?"  
  
"Good." Denzel said with a nod. Picking up his chopsticks again, he resumed eating his noodles. Zack smiled softly and turned back to his own food.   
  
"You know? I'm glad. I never wanted Cloud to betray me. So if he can go back to normal, then that's really good," Denzel said between mouthfuls.   
  
"You're right, Denzel. It is really, really good."   
  
Suddenly even more glad than before that he had allowed Dr Wright to talk him into coming back for a rest, Zack gave Denzel a one-armed hug. If Zack had not come back, perhaps he would have never had this conversation with Denzel. And perhaps the boy would never have been willing to try and place his trust in Cloud again.   
  
He was so glad, so glad indeed.


	17. Cloud's Insanity - Ch 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have been struck with strong inspiration for this fic once again and so I am resuming to catch up on updates with the intention of finally, finally finishing it!!! I first created a writing document for this fic back in August, 2008. And now, on the 1st January 2016, I am resolving to finally, finally finish writing it!!!
> 
> So this is my New Year's Resolution: finish Cloud's Insanity, once and for all!

Cloud sat in the drained mako tank, a plate of food balanced in his lap and a glass of water held in one hand. He watched Rufus intently as the disabled man frowned at the computer terminal and typed endlessly. Cloud felt better, much better. He no longer saw the hallucinated forms of Zack or Aerith lurking in the corners of his vision. The tormenting voices had dulled to a barely perceptible whisper. He no longer felt afraid or hopeless. He was gaining his life back.  
  
 _He saved you._  
  
Cloud blinked as he stared at Rufus. Had someone spoken? Was it a voice in his head? Or was it the voice of his conscience, reminding him of his morals? Perhaps he should have felt afraid, at least unsettled. But Cloud did not.  
  
"You saved me," Cloud said. Rufus' eyes snapped up to him, confused as the unexpected dialogue dragged him out of his concentration.  
  
"What?"  
  
 _It was a terrible accident. You should have died._  
  
"I ... I should have been killed. But you saved me," Cloud repeated again, his gaze unwavering.  
  
 _You owe him everything. You owe him your life!_  
  
"I owe you everything." Something in Cloud's countenance changed and he looked down for a moment, before lifting his head with new-found determination in his eyes. "I cannot repay you, but I will try. Rufus Shinra, I pledge myself to you. I swear that I will serve you until I have repaid this debt that I owe you, or I shall die trying! Will you accept my pledge?"  
  
Rufus stared at Cloud a moment longer, before pushing away from the computer terminal and rolling his chair over to the tank. Slowly, a wicked grin spread across his face and he released a small chuckle. At last, the marker Rufus had placed in Cloud's mind seemed to be coming into effect. All the pieces were falling into place. He would have his dominion once more!  
  
"Yes, Cloud Strife. I accept your pledge to be in my service until you have repaid your debt, or you have died trying. I will hold you to this pledge. You owe me your life. Never forget that."  
  
"I won't, sir. I promise you that."  
  
Chuckling more freely now, Rufus rolled back to the computer terminal and resumed the computer tests. Oh, this was a good day indeed! He would remember it for years to come.  
  
Reno strolled into the room, his arms stretched out behind his head. With a sigh, he relaxed his arms before going over to the computer terminal and staring at the screen of dizzying numbers and coding that he did not understand. Irritated by the red-head's presence, Rufus shot him a glare.  
  
"Do you mind?" he asked. Reno coolly turned his gaze down to his boss before feigning ignorance.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I in your way?"  
  
"Reno, why don't you go do something useful? Like calling in those old favours I told you about?" Rufus was in no mood to deal with his subordinate's sarcasm. Reno rolled his eyes and turned to leave the room.  
  
"Fine, I'll go do that. But I still don't get what you're planning to do with these favours. Seriously!" Still grumbling to himself, the red-head stomped out of the room and began making phone calls.  
  
Rude walked through the lab and towards the door that led up the sloping tunnel and to the outside world. Gritting his teeth in annoyance at all the unintended interruptions, Rufus spun on him.  
  
"Rude! Where do you think you are going? You have work to be doing!"  
"Tifa Lockhart just called," Rude replied. "She's come to visit Cloud and she's waiting top-side."  
  
"Who even told her she was allowed to come visit? I certainly did not! I don't want Cloud to be disturbed by any others just yet! He is still at a crucial stage! Who gave permission for this?" Rufus' perfectly evil day was being ruined.  
  
"I did."  
  
Rufus turned to see Dr Wright emerge from the kitchen. Trying to keep his anger in check, Rufus calmly glared the psychiatrist down and waited for an explanation.  
  
"Tifa has been asking for days now if she could come visit Cloud. Seeing as things have been going so well, I didn't see the harm in allowing her to come. Besides, I think it would do Cloud some good. He's been asking about her."  
  
"I know that, but that does not give you the right to simply do as you please!"  
  
"And what gives you the right?" Dr Wright fixed Rufus with a stern gaze.  
  
"What?" Rufus noted that Rude had already disappeared up the tunnel to let the annoying girl in.  
  
"What give you the right to simply do as you please, Rufus Shinra? This is Cloud's life and well-being that we are talking about. Seeing as I am his psychiatrist, I will determine his mental health, not you. And as his doctor, I recommend visits from close friends and family. They will help him on the road to recovery. So why do you think that you can exercise power that will stop Cloud from healing?" Dr Wright lifted his chin higher, "You are no longer the owner of the largest company on this planet!"  
  
Glass shattered and both men flinched, heads spinning around. A frustrated Cloud was glaring at them, having thrown his glass onto the floor to get their attention. Momentary panic shot through Dr Wright. Cloud was still unstable.  
  
"I _am_ right here, you know? I can speak for myself! And I say I want to see Tifa!"  
  
"Cloud, it simply isn't-"  
  
"Cloud!"  
  
The blond man turned, ignoring Rufus' pathetic attempts to explain his argument as a familiar, feminine voice reached his ears. Tifa ran to the mako tank, excited disbelief all over her face. No-one had yet told her that Cloud was awake and responsive.  
  
A huge smile swept over Cloud's face as Tifa reached the tank. She nervously rested her hands on the sides of the tank, but Cloud was not so shy. He acted before she could move.  
  
"Tifa."  
  
His right arm went behind her neck, pulling her close. Cloud ducked his head and shut his eyes, capturing Tifa's lips with his own. She gasped against him but was too shocked to pull away. Her heart raced and a million different emotions flooded her all at once. What was going on?  
  
Quite happy to have her there, Cloud wrapped his left arm around her waist in an attempt to draw her even closer. At length, he broke the kiss off, resting his forehead against hers. A glowing smile enveloped his face. Tifa had never seen him so happy!  
  
"Cloud," she whispered, unable to believe what had just happened. Her face flushed red and Cloud chuckled lightly. After all these years of waiting and feeling invisible to him, he had finally responded to her in the most unexpected situation.  
  
"I love you, Tifa. I should have told you years ago, but I was afraid. Now ... things are different. Almost dying put a lot of things into perspective for me. And that's why I can promise you that everything is going to be fine. I'm better now. I'll repay my debts and we'll be together. It will be perfect, Tifa. Everything will finally be perfect!"  
  
Tifa pulled back slightly, confused.  
  
"Debts?"  
  
"Actually Cloud, you are not completely better yet. We still have a fair way to go and plenty more tests, before you'll be ready to go home." Rufus quickly inserted himself into the conversation. Cloud was treading on dangerous ground with his words to Tifa. This was exactly why Rufus did not want any people visiting the man! Yet he could not exactly say that, or his plan would be prematurely revealed.  
  
Tifa scowled at Rufus, then turned to Dr Wright as Cloud finally released his grip on her.  
  
"How is he really doing, doctor?" she asked.  
  
"He's much better," Dr Wright said positively, hiding his thoughts and reactions to Cloud's actions very carefully. "The last time you saw him, Cloud was broken and bloodied from the bike accident. Physically, he is one hundred percent healed. Mentally, he's about fifty percent healed."  
  
"Aw, c'mon doc! It's better than that! I'm closer to ninety-nine percent healed." Cloud slung an arm around Tifa's shoulders and grinned guilelessly up at the psychiatrist. Tifa stared at the arm as though she had never seen such a thing before in her life and Dr Wright frowned.  
  
"Cloud, your current behaviour is simply serving to reinforce my belief that you are only half way to being completely healed, mentally. Think, Cloud. You do not normally display such outward affections to Tifa, do you?"  
  
"That's because I used to be scared of what might happen! But I'm not anymore. I'm brave now!"  
  
"Uhuh. And where did this bravery come from, Cloud? It does not seem to be you. It seems to resemble your best friend Zack a lot more than it does yourself."  
  
Cloud retracted his arm and his face turned deeply troubled, flashes of guilt and doubt plaguing momentarily across his countenance.  
  
"Oh no. Not again," Tifa gasped, staring up at the man she loved.  
  
"Again? What do you mean?"  
  
Turning to the doctor, Tifa quickly explained how after Zack's death and Cloud's mako poisoning, Cloud had been under the impression that he was a First Class SOLDIER, with all the traits and characteristics of his dead best friend.  
  
"So essentially, he thought he was Zack?" Dr Wright asked and Tifa nodded. "Misplaced identity. Cloud, you never told me that you had suffered from mental illnesses in the past!"  
  
Cloud turned deathly pale as two words resonated in his head. _Misplaced identity._ Would he ever truly know who he was? Would he ever be able to stop disappointing those he loved? His eyes slowly turned to rest on Tifa's worried face.  
  
The strong blond man shattered and he burst into tears, hanging his head in shame.  
  
"I-I'm sorry, Tifa! I didn't ... I didn't want to h-hurt you. B-but I don't know what t-to do! I just ... just wish I c-could be as strong as him!"  
  
"Cloud!"  
  
Not knowing what to say, but unable to ignore his raw state of helplessness, Tifa flung her arms around Cloud and hugged him tightly. She held him as he wailed and released all the pent-up anguish he had been trying to ignore.  
  
Rufus was horrified. This was terrible! Cloud's mental state of well-being was diminishing with every passing moment! Something must be done to save him!  
  
Dr Wright nodded in approval. This was exactly what Cloud needed. Dr Wright had secretly been concerned that Cloud had not had a break-down, such as this, since regaining consciousness. He was glad that a break-down had finally been triggered, even if he had used Tifa as the catalyst.  
  
"Do something, doctor! He is losing his mind again!" Rufus snapped. Dr Wright sighed.  
  
"You obviously know nothing about psychology, Mr Shinra. This is all part of the healing process. Having such a complete break-down is a very important cleansing tool. I was actually beginning to get worried because Cloud had not had one yet. But after this, we will be able to move forward with more speed and accuracy."  
  
Rufus scoffed.  
  
"That is ridiculous! How can you claim such ludicrous things?"  
  
"Because I am a psychiatrist and the human mind nowhere near as much of a mystery to me as it is to you. You can play psychiatrist all you like with your technology and your coded programs, but they will never be equal to the power and effectiveness of a qualified, talented _human_ psychiatrist."  
  
Still scowling but knowing that he needed to back down now to avoid raising suspicion, Rufus glared momentarily at the sobbing Cloud and crooning Tifa before rolling his wheelchair back to the computer terminal and venting his anger on the keyboard. How dare these people come and ruin his perfect day!  
  
At least they had not discovered his plan. Rufus allowed himself a small grin at that thought. He had carefully orchestrated every last detail. By the time these fools discovered what he had in store, it would be too late to stop him. He would succeed! Nothing would stop him! Shinra would rise once more.


End file.
